There is Always Help!

Carolyn Ponting

Patrick Henry High School

Today in class while talking about TRV many of the excuses for staying in a destructive relationship really hit home with me.

I've listed some below:

* I remember when he/she was sweet to me
* He/she just had a bad day
*I can change him/her
*He/she acts that way because they love me so much
*I wont have anyone to turn to
*Sometimes out relationship is good ( it doesn't happen all the time)
*He/she s popular
*People think I am lucky to be with him/her
*If i look prettier, he/she will like me more
*I might not find someone else
*I'm afraid of what he/she might do

There are many more reasons, mostly psychological of why victims stay in their situation. It is very important to remember that the victim is never at fault; they are not the cause of the violence. The perpetrator is solely responsible. People must take responsibility for their own actions. A final note: relationship violence is often a repeated pattern, it is important to break the cycle and leave the relationship at the first signs, to prevent prolonged abuse.

There is always help!!!!

Stuck in a Rut?

Written by Chrissy Atley

Courage Coach

Total Harmony Coaching

Ever feel stuck in a rut and not sure how to get out? What's one thing that makes you feel good? Come on, there has to be something! I've been in some pretty bad moods myself, and if I can find one thing that makes me feel better, I can usually turn around the entire day! No one likes to feel bad - although your mind might tell you otherwise. What does feeling good look like to you? For me the other day, it was paying for the person's coffee who was in-line behind me at the drive thru. I wasn't looking for anything in exchange, just knowing I brightened someone else's day made me feel instantly good. I looked back in the rear view mirror at just the right time to see the person in the car behind me wave to me out the window! Very fun! What can you do the next time you're feeling down & out?

Do You Feel Good?

Chrissy Atley

Courage Coach

 

In my last post, we talked about how you can literally attract whatever you want into your life. Well, in order to attract good things, it's important to feel good. Don't get me wrong, you're not always going to be in a good mood, but the quicker you can realize how you are feeling and flip it to a more positive place, the better off you will be. The better you feel and the more you experience joy & happiness, means you will attract more situations/events/people/things that make you feel the same way. How great is that??!! What makes you feel good? Is it having fun with friends, reading a great book, seeing a fun movie, going to the beach or even walking the family dog? Pay really close attention to what you are doing & how it makes you feel. If you don't love it, don't do it. Don't feel like you "should" do something because of someone else. This is your life. Don't settle for less.

Do You Know How Powerful You Are?

Chrissy Atley

Courage Coach

Most people have no idea how powerful they are. We are here to live an extraordinary life doing what we love and we have the tools within us to do this! We're just a little rusty. Imagine that daydreaming about something you would love to do can actually lead to doing it! Start off small by picturing an object in your mind, like say an apple or a certain type of car. Hold the imagine in your mind for a few minutes and picture all of the details of that object, i.e. color, size, etc. Then tell yourself you are going to see that object and that it's coming to you. Then release it. Think about the object coming to you when it pops into your mind throughout the day. Do this until the object shows up in your life. Pay attention because it could show up in a way that you aren't expecting! Since it was this easy to create something in your life, imagine doing it with something bigger? What do you really want? Is it a new friend, getting into college or simply being around people that love and support you. Once you get the hang of it, try something bigger and see what happens!

 

The Girl

Written by Bradley Lewis

Val Verde High School

 

She was beautiful, but she thought not,

Her story's sad, but long forgot.

Sometimes, I can still hear her cry,

I didn't know she wanted to die.

She liked a guy, completely sprung,

He didn't like her and I knew it stung.

She plucked up her courage and dressed real nice,

She did her make-up and hoped to entice.

She professed her love, and hoped the best,

He looked at her like a vermin pest.

He told her she was ugly and to leave him alone,

The hole in her heart tremendously grown.

She hated herself; she wished she could disappear,

The kids all laughed when they saw the tears.

She ran home crying with cuts on her wrists,

She ran in the bathroom with a razor clenched in her fist.

In the mirror she looked at her face,

Hate surged through her; she thought she was a disgrace.

She cut her check and watched the blood run,

Feeling that her life is a ridiculous pun.

She cut her face again, again, and again,

She felt her existence was a deadly sin.

In her own blood she wrote on the mirror,

With death so close everything was clearer.

She sat in the bathwater and waited for death,

She just couldn't wait to take her last breath.

The bath water ran red as life seeped from her veins,

She wanted to forget all of her pains.

The life left her beautiful eyes,

Everything she felt finally died.

Her message on the mirror was shining bright red,

The message she passed on after she was dead.

Her final farewell, her final bow,

Her final message, "Am I pretty now?"

 

TRV

Mitzy Zarate

Val Verde High School

When you get in a relationship with someone you hardly know; you really have to think about the consequences it can cause. You don't know if your partner has anger issues. What if one day he/she is in a bad mood and you do something he/she does not like? He/she might flip out and might hit you. You don't want that for yourself. You want someone that treats you the way you should be treated. Or what if your partner can't control themselves when they get angry? You can't stop him/her on your own. You need help. Now you see a lot of violence going on in teen relationships. Yea, you might think he/she loves you at first, but later you get to see the true person in them. First it starts with him/her just yelling at you. Then he/she start to hit you once in a while. And when they see that you don't do anything, they start to get used to hitting you more often and they won't care. That shows that they don't really love you and have no respect for you. If you don't defend yourself, that means you have no respect for yourself. If you know that you need help in stopping teen relationship violence, don't be afraid to talk to someone about it or asking for help. Know that it's for your good.

 

Teen Relationship Violence

Betty Lara

Val Verde High School

There is a lot of violence in teen relationships today. Many teens don't know how to deal with their anger, so at times they let it out on there partner. At first the relationship starts out good but after you start to get to know the person a little more you start to see their true colors. It all starts off with a little push and then a shove. If you continue to let your partner do this to you sooner or later they start to hit you harder. You have to stand up for yourself. Have self respect and not let anyone push you around like that. If someone truly loved you they would not want to hurt you. Once they hurt you that person doesn't respect you and if they don't respect you they don't truly love you.

 

 

Here to Help

Asiah Johnson

Val Verde High School

Often unexpected, teen relationship violence occurs. Violence is never necessary. If you're getting abused it's not your fault so don't blame yourself. Violence can happen in any situation, but that doesn't mean its right. What should you do if you find your self in this situation? You should tell somebody because no one deserves to be physically, emotionally, or sexually abused. Love can some times hurt. Many people who are abused don't know how to handle it. Make sure you talk to somebody that will actually do something about your problem. Some times just telling a friend is not good enough. If you're in school you should go tell a counselor or a trusted teacher. All they want to do is help.

 

Prevent!

Anonymous

Teen relationship violence has been a growing problem in our communities.  Teens do not have the coping skills that are necessary to deal with the problems that they face in life.  With daily problems in the household such as divorce, drugs, abuse, and poverty; teens struggle with expressing their emotions properly.  It is no wonder that teen relationship violence is on the rise.  Unfortunately, most teens that become victims of TRV do not know of the resources available for support.  I know of a girl who would get beat up by her boyfriend almost everyday, but she didn't do anything about it because she was scared that he might hurt her more.  She said that he loved her, but that sometimes she would make him mad.  She said it was better to stay with him than to have to be home all the time with her abusive father.  I'm sure that there are a lot of situations like my friend's, but now that I have been trained in the topics of TRV, I know how to be a resource for someone in need.  NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH A SITUATION LIKE MY FRIEND DID.

 

Friends

Written by Aniesha Jones, Val Verde High School

In my time I have seen and heard a great deal of teen violence that goes on in daily lives of teenagers. My best friend has told me many stories about her life and arguments with her boyfriend. Of course as a good trustworthy friend I was there to give her advice, and try to lead her the best way I can. I remember a time where she had kept calling me constantly about how her boyfriend and she were arguing about her not wanting to have any type of sexual intercourse with him. Which at that point he thought she was cheating on him with her guy best friend. She called me one night and was crying until the point where she sounded like she couldn't even breathe. Her shocking news was that her boyfriend had hit her several times from her waist up to her face. She was in shock, and so was I.  Then while she was on the phone she began to talk lower and started to sound very startled by something. All of a sudden the phone was disconnected. I began to panic and didn't know what to do. I called her mother and she didn't answer, I called her cousin but she didn't answer, then I tried to call back and the line was busy. I then called the police and told them her address and began to make my way over there to her place. When I got there the police was not there yet. I walked in the door and saw him raping my best friend on the living room couch. She was crying and screaming and I saw him raise his hand to my best friends face and slapped her. The police then arrived and he began to try to run but I threw a flower pot at the back of his head. He then fell to the ground and the police charged inside the house to take him away. I began to comfort my best friend and the ambulance soon arrived. They took my best friend to the hospital to take care of her. Everyday I thought about that situation, it became even more sensitive to me. That wasn't the first bad situation I've experienced in my life. So being in this club means a lot to me and I hope that teen relationship violence will be stopped.