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Teen Critic Reveals All (Well Almost) About Zombie Strippers


Roxy Saint offers a lap dance to Robert Englund. Oh my! Zombie Strippers (Sony)

By Tony Galindo

Having already been given a chance to review one zombie flick this year I eagerly jumped at the chance to review another. Taking a quick glance at a trailer on Youtube I would have no idea what I was in for that night, and oh boy was I in for it with this movie. Zombie Strippers (opened Aptil 18 exclusively at Pacific Gaslamp Stadium Theaters) definitely has a title to catch anyone's attention, and is a movie to maintain everyone's eye -- or at least those old enough to see it [it's rated R for obvious reasons]. Directed by Jay Lee this low budget horror film shot in a few weeks was created more out of a joke then a serious take on an old horror theme.

Set in the "near future," we find out that Bush is in his fourth presidential term and has abolished congress because they were cramping his style. We are at war with everyone including Canada and our own state of Alaska. & The America we knew is long gone. To deal with wars all over, the government's solution to the countless loss of soldiers is a new chemical virus created to reanimate the corpses of soldiers, thus creating a zombie army. As undead soldiers, & they are stronger, faster, and better at what they do, which is kill people. After dealing with a breakout of the virus at a lab, a bitten soldier runs off in fear of being found out. He stumbles into an underground strip joint. After fully turning undead, the soldier launches himself -- due to his thirst for meat and blood -- at the club's star stripper Kat, played by Jenna Jameson. It's Kat's transformation to a undead super stripper that starts controversy amongst her fellow dancers and more problems for the club.

We find the strippers are split between who wants to conform and become undead to get paid more, and the more intelligent women who decide to stay alive. In this complete satire we find many hints of racist comedy as well as the struggle with conformity and doing whatever it takes to make the crowd love you. Even if this means giving up your life to strip like an undead superstar.

Seen by friends and I as "The best piece of S&!@ this year," this movie will not only make those willing to see it laugh, but also hide their face at the more then graphic scenes of testicle chewing and face splitting action that add to the film. The seemingly bad acting and special effects helped to make this movie the cheesy crap it came out to be. I mean really, I could count several times when the gunfire ceased but actors were still pretending to shoot while the flash of the shots fired had disappeared. Who would have thought that bad acting, horrid gore, sex scenes/humor, undead strippers, and Robert Englund playing a germ-aphobic club owner would make a horribly great film.

It was so hard to describe how I felt after seeing this film Monday night -- I loved it and hated it all at the same time. This movie is not for the faint of heart and greatly deserves the R rating it has received. When I say gore I mean GORE, with scenes that will make you want to run and turn away, only to make you turn back wanting more. If you are looking forward to seeing it, watching it with a live audience definitely adds to the experience with the random clapping and "hell yeah's" being yelled as the strippers began to fight and rip skin off. Or reacting to a certain undead gal deciding to shoot ping-pong and billiard balls out of somewhere never thought possible. I recommend this movie to all those willing to watch, to those into zombie flicks, and yes to those who only noticed "stripper" in the title. Some sexual content included in viewing of course, and not all considered pleasant. With all said and done, you'll either love it or hate it. All I can say is, "make like a bread truck, and get those buns moving."

-- Tony Galindo is a senior at Mount Miguel High. He was recently accepted at the Art Institute of San Diego where he wants to major in game art design and pursue a career in environmental design. Writing is a hobby of his as well as watching movies, so he thought it would be great to be able to share his opinions on film with people.

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