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Sandwich Monday: The Primanti Bros. Pitts-burger

It's smiling at you. I guess it doesn't know what's about to happen.
NPR
It's smiling at you. I guess it doesn't know what's about to happen.

Eva is either showing off the Kielbasa & Cheese version, or trying to get it away from her face.
NPR
Eva is either showing off the Kielbasa & Cheese version, or trying to get it away from her face.

Kielbasaface is the new Duckface.
NPR
Kielbasaface is the new Duckface.

If you do a regular blog post about sandwiches, you will frequently hear from people telling you to try Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh, or that the sandwich you just ate is a ripoff of something Primanti Bros. has been doing for years. Also, if you do a regular blog post about sandwiches, you probably regularly hear from your parents wanting to know what on earth you went to college for.

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Primanti Bros. puts fries and coleslaw on all of its sandwiches. We ordered The Pitts-burger. It's a beef patty, tomatoes, lettuce, plus the french fries and cole slaw, on white bread.

Kelsie: Picking this sandwich up, it feels like I just did curls at the gym, except this sandwich is the opposite of exercise.

Eva: If my fries count as a topping, does that mean I can still order fries as a side?

Robert: It's thoughtful that they provide the sandwich, fries and coleslaw courses all in one package, since I probably won't live long enough to eat them separately.

Miles: The texture is interesting. Was the sandwich assembled by a mama bird?

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Eva: The Primanti Brothers are the Wright Brothers of Pittsburgh — except their sandwiches are responsible for several planes never getting off the ground.

Ian: I look at this thing stuffed with fries and cheese and realize it looks at me and sees the same thing.

Miles: It's so dense. It's like they were trying to turn the sandwich into a diamond.

Ian: This is the kind of thing you just eat when you're drunk. And if you're really drunk, you send it a text at 2 a.m. telling it you think you should get back together.

[The verdict: We'd been looking forward to this one for a long time, but we all came away a little disappointed. The starchiness of the fries overwhelmed everything else. We respect Primanti Bros. as an innovator, but we've enjoyed the knockoffs more.]

Sandwich Monday is a satirical feature from the humorists at Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me!

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