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Arts & Culture

Weekly Roundup: Avoid ‘Pirates,’ Take A ‘Roman Holiday’ Instead

Javier Bardem plays the new villain Captain Salazar in "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales."
Disney
Javier Bardem plays the new villain Captain Salazar in "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales."

Old classics still offer best options at the movies

It is Memorial Day weekend and there is the forgettable new “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales,” the memorable “Roman Holiday” screening outdoors, “Fire Walk With Me” at midnight, and the occult horror tale “A Dark Song.”

“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales”

Let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way first. Johnny Depp is back yet again as Captain Jack Sparrow in the fifth “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.” Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley may appear (don’t blink or you’ll miss them,) but they have essentially been replaced by carbon copies of their characters and younger actors, Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelaria. There is a new villain too in Javier Bardem’s Captain Salazar (who does look pretty cool) and an old villain returning in warmer and fuzzier fashion with Geoffrey Rush’s Captain Barbossa.

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The plot involves young Henry Turner (Thwaites) seeking Jack Sparrow in order to break the curse suffered by his father Will (Bloom). Along the way, he picks up a female astronomer named Corina (Scodelaria) who can read the map “that no man can” so they can find the Trident of Poseidon.

The problem is that none of it is very engaging. Everything is of an epic scale from a ghost ship that can swallow other ships to a bank robbery that involves stealing not just a safe but an entire building dragged through the entire town but we never care about the characters and the whole film feels like a paint by numbers exercise by Disney.

I saw the film with an audience where many attendees were dressed as pirates, and they seemed to love the film, and I think a couple girls in front of me actually swooned when Bloom and Knightley made their appearances. So the film seems carefully constructed to appeal to a particular audience, and it is on track for a strong opening weekend.

But for me, it feels tired and overly calculated. Its worst offense is not that it is bad but that it is bland and unimaginative. I thoroughly enjoyed the first “Pirates” because it was sort of a strait-laced swashbuckler where everyone except Depp’s Sparrow was taking everything seriously. So that contrast between Depp and the rest of the crew is where the film found its freshness. But that has all grown stale, and I think Depp’s surprise appearance at the actual Pirates of the Caribbean Disney ride was probably more exciting than this film. Make sure to stay till the very end for a lame it’s-a-dream, no-it’s-not post credit kicker that promises yet another trip to sea with Jack Sparrow. Ho hum a pirate’s life, that’s not for me.

Gregory Peck is a newspaperman and Audrey Hepburn is a princess on the run in the romantic comedy "Roman Holiday."
Paramount Pictures
Gregory Peck is a newspaperman and Audrey Hepburn is a princess on the run in the romantic comedy "Roman Holiday."

Classic romance with “Roman Holiday”

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If Memorial weekend is the unofficial launch of summer than what better way to celebrate than with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck at their most charming in “Roman Holiday.”

Hepburn plays a bored and sheltered princess who escapes her guardians and official duties in the city of love, Rome, and falls in love with an American reporter played by Peck. Of course, Peck eventually realizes that the story of his life just fell into his lap so he enlists the help of a photographer friend (wonderfully played by Eddie Albert) to record the renegade princess’ escapades.

The film won a Best Actress Oscar for Hepburn and an Oscar for Best Motion Picture Story for then-blacklisted writer Dalton Trumbo. As directed by William Wyler the film is a delight with a bittersweet ending. The film plays through Sunday at the magical Cinema Under the Stars. Next week you can catch “Rear Window” and “Singin’ in the Rain” playing there in tandem.

Sheryl Lee reprised her role as Laura Palmer in the prequel to the "Twin Peak" TV series, "Fire Walk With Me."
New Line Cinema
Sheryl Lee reprised her role as Laura Palmer in the prequel to the "Twin Peak" TV series, "Fire Walk With Me."

“Fire Walk With Me”

David Lynch just revived his 1990 TV show “Twin Peaks” last weekend. The groundbreaking TV show began with homecoming queen Laura Palmer found dead and wrapped in plastic on the beach of her quaint logging town of Twin Peaks.

This Saturday at midnight and Sunday at 11:00 AM Landmark’s Ken Cinema will host screenings of the prequel “Fire Walk With Me,” that looked to the last seven days of Laura’s life. Lynch has been quoted as saying that the prequel is “very important” to the revival. So do not miss your opportunity to see it on the big screen where David Lynch prefers you watch all his work.

Catherine Walker plays a bereaved mother willing to go to any lengths to contact her dead son in "A Dark Song."
IFC Midnight
Catherine Walker plays a bereaved mother willing to go to any lengths to contact her dead son in "A Dark Song."

“A Dark Song”

Most supernatural horror films use the occult as something people accidentally stumble into as in “Ouija” or in tales of possession like “The Exorcist” or where a witch’s coven or some such evil thing threatens innocents as is “Suspiria.”

But what Ireland’s “A Dark Song” does that is less common is to have a character willingly make herself the subject of an occult ritual. Then the twist is that the occult proves less scary than the human interactions between the two characters, a bereaved mother and an abrasive occultist.

Issues of trust and honesty arise to make us wonder what the real motives are behind entering into this ritual where both people may be risking more than just their souls.

"A Dark Song" opens today for a week run at Digital Gym Cinema.