Last week, Citizen Voices bloggers were asked to express our opinions, feelings, fears and insights about same-sex marriage , and to engage in a dialogue with you, contributors and readers, who were asked to share the same.
It was an eye-opening experience, and I look forward to more of these directed topics before the November election. For me, last week's discussion was especially meaningful, as was reading the personal and sometimes deeply moving stories that readers shared about their own experiences with love, heartache, miracles, and being honest with the people in their lives.
The truth will set you free, so the saying goes. But the truth can sometimes hurt and often does when it isn't what we expected to hear.
Assuming we can form and articulate our political opinions, is the fear of hurting another person (or ourselves) what makes sharing specifically political ideas challenging for many people?
Chuck
from Escondido, CA
June 24, 2008 at 05:02 PM
I'll stick to online. More honest and thrown objects don't result in physical injury beyond muscle strain to the thrower.
Matthew C. Scallon
June 24, 2008 at 10:30 PM
"Last point disguised as a question -- could a discussion like the one generated here last week about same-sex marriage have taken place around a real-live kitchen table instead of an online forum?
"I say no way."
Well, madam, you must not come from an Irish family. Such heated and heddy discussion in my family were called Sunday dinner. The really knock-down drag-outs were called Christmas dinner (and, no, we refuse to call it Holiday dinner).
No one ever got hurt on these occasions, save for possibly their feelings, but your feelings were only hurt if you couldn't defend your position.
I'm sorry that your kitchen table conversations aren't so lively.
Alma Sove from San Diego
June 25, 2008 at 05:23 AM
I love it that you read our blogs Matthew!! Thanks for always having a couple (at least a couple) of thoughtful remarks. BTW, I only meant that these heated discussions don't happen frequently around a table of strangers, not family. And yes, I am part Irish (on my mom's side) although we didn't have Sunday dinner w/our Irish side. We had them w/our mixed family. You're right. Things can get lively around a family meal w/a side of politics! Thanks for interacting.
Trina from Carlsbad
June 26, 2008 at 02:30 AM
Hi Alma (and everyone!)
I think I'd rather be having these conversations around someone's dinner table. For one, I love to eat, so that just plain sounds more fun than typing away at my keyboard all alone.
But mostly because I am not eloquent and constantly find myself struggling to find the right words to express my feelings and ideas. Inevitably, my words are misinterpreted or misunderstood and I have to go back and clarify.
I would much rather sit next to someone so they could see when I have my tongue firmly planted in my cheek or see the wink in my eye when I'm attempting to evoke a cheap laugh. Even after a lively discussion when I don't agree with someone I could give my dinner companion a hug and pass him/her the peas.
Alma from San Diego
June 26, 2008 at 06:17 PM
Hi Trina,
It's amazing how meanings can get twisted, subtle context missed, and good will subsumed in writing versus speaking in person. I tend to have the opposite effect, where my mouth gets ahead of my head in person. It feels safer, like Chuck suggested, because there's less chance of physical injury.
I guess there's always the possibility of self-censorship online where, as you say, the misunderstandings compound without the ability to speak person to person. Plus, food and drinks always make a nice focal point. It's just naturally more familial around a real table. The down side is there's only so much room, and so many opinions that can be accommodated. Online, it's more of a free-for-all... good & bad right?
Thanks for the comments!
Trina Boice from Carlsbad
June 28, 2008 at 02:30 AM
The great thing about Citizen Voices, and online in general, is that we can have conversations with people we might not normally get to rub shoulders with in our day to day lives. It's great to be able to hang our hat in KPBS's house and meet everyone here.
andy
June 30, 2008 at 03:43 PM
I have some Irish on my Mom’s side too (small world!). I don’t know what side came out around the dinner table growing up, not mine anyway. I like these blogs...defiantly see the tendency to go overboard but I like how the writing process allows a longer thought process. Words are powerful. I think if I were to have similar conversations as such, the elephants would take over the room. Writing seems to give an idea a place to stand for a while, preserved for a moment you know?
Here in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, I hear a lot of typical points of view and the hosts of talk radio don’t have much time for opinions that are even slightly off agreement from that of the host...just a press of a button and THAT caller is gone! It is kind of funny, kind of not.
