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Bob Filner And The Monster Within

— Beyond the recent sexual-harassment allegations, Mayor Bob Filner’s political career is remarkable for the sheer volume of people he managed to offend or alienate along the way – enemies, allies, loyal staff members, the random airport employee who accused him of punching her.

Many people who have known Filner for decades – including a number of his former congressional aides – say they are stunned by the sheer breadth and depravity of the allegations against him.

But what doesn’t surprise them, they say, is a consistent and glaring flaw: Unless you were one of Filner’s constituents and he was hoping for your vote, he was something of a blank slate when it came to the fundamentals of human interaction.

The result: Not nearly enough people were willing to stand by him as criticism and ridicule mounted. He resigned effective the end of this month, blaming a “lynch mob” mentality for demands for his resignation and recall.

“I am responsible for providing the ammunition. I did that," Filner said. "But there are well-organized interests who have run this city for 50 years who pointed the gun, and the media and their political agents pulled the trigger."

Mayor Bob Filner

Special Feature Filner Files

Given the scope of the allegations, even the most beloved politician probably couldn’t have survived this scandal. For Filner, many people of like-minded political views were happy to witness his self-immolation. In fact, it was supporters who lit the match.

How did Filner manage to alienate so many people? Over the past few weeks, inewsource interviewed a range of Filner’s associates, including people who served with him or worked with him on the San Diego City Council a quarter-century ago, Congressional staffers and people close to his mayoral campaign. With Filner still in office during these interviews, most would not agree to be quoted by name.

But almost all of them say there is a great irony in Filner: The man who spent his political career professing compassion for the little guy had difficulty mustering the proper concern for how his words and actions might impact the people who surrounded him in everyday life. Simply put, he had difficulty connecting on a basic human level.

At least to some extent, he seems to have been undone by the same impulses that helped advance his political career: a refusal to abide by social niceties and the customary boundaries of human interaction.

A knack for the offensive

Where a simple kind word, or a small gesture of warmth, could make a world of difference in a given situation, Filner seemed to have a knack for saying something needlessly provocative or offensive instead. The same man who so passionately advocated for civil rights and other important causes, several former Congressional staffers said, couldn’t muster even feigned interest in his employees’ personal lives.

“I bet you could ask him my wife’s name, my kids’ names, after working with him for 15 years, and he wouldn’t have a clue,” said one former Congressional staffer of his.

Another former staffer, who worked for Filner for four years in the mid-1990s, recalls once bringing his father to a public event to meet Filner for the first time. Upon finding out that the staffer’s father worked for a local bank, Filner launched into a diatribe about how all the executives who worked for that particular bank were “a bunch of pricks.”

With apparently little or no thought, Filner had managed to eviscerate a complete stranger for utterly no reason. The aide said he resigned shortly afterward.

Thaddeus Hoffmeister, who served as Filner’s legislative director in Washington, D.C. from 2004 to 2007, said that shortly after the birth of his first child, he received a congratulatory card from Filner – with a warning attached. Hoffmeister had better not use the situation as an excuse to slack off, Filner wrote. The way Hoffmeister interpreted the card, Filner was half-kidding but half-serious. What surprised Hoffmeister most was that that his boss actually signed the card. Usually Filner didn’t bother with such pleasantries.

Hoffmeister, now a law professor at the University of Dayton in Ohio, said he couldn’t recall a single person with whom Filner might grab a beer or play a round of golf. Not that Filner played golf or appeared to have any other hobbies. All Filner did, it seemed, was work, Hoffmeister said. Work was like his oxygen – he couldn’t function without it.

Of Hoffmeister and the four other former Filner congressional staffers interviewed for this story – all of them male – all expressed astonishment at the recent sexual-harassment allegations, saying they never witnessed or heard about Filner sexually harassing women during his tenure in Congress. (Numerous former female staffers either declined to comment or didn’t return phone calls for this story.)

“We had young women up there, we had old women up there, we had middle-aged women up there,” Hoffmeister said. “You never heard about it. You never heard rumors about it.”

Whether Filner’s behavior towards women degenerated over the years is unclear. But his reputation as a bully was legendary and enduring.

As a congressman, he wasn’t shy about using his power to threaten and berate to get what he wanted. And there were plenty of times, his former congressional aides say, where the ends justified the means.

One former staffer, who worked for Filner from 2007 to 2008 in his San Diego office, recounted a case involving a constituent who needed a new wheelchair; his old one was giving him shoulder problems. Despite his doctor’s recommendation, his health insurer refused to give him a new one.

Getting his constituent a new wheelchair became Filner’s personal mission. After the customary channels failed to produce satisfactory results, Filner informed the insurance company’s executives that he would be holding a press conference in front of their building the following day. The end result: The man got his wheelchair.

Filner treated constituents the same way a good business treats customers. The citizen was always right -- and should be lavished with special attention. One staffer said his duties included trailing Filner around at various public events, getting the names, addresses and phone numbers of every single person Filner met. Someone from the office would then send that person a follow-up letter, personally signed by Filner.

“If someone wrote him a letter saying they weren’t getting their Social Security check, he was going to find out why,” Hoffmeister said. “He himself would do it. He would literally go down to the Social Security office.”

An inewsource investigation in October 2011 found Filner, who represented southern San Diego County and Imperial County in congress, sponsored 20 private bills, which are intended to help individuals facing uncommon hardships, since January 2009. That was more than anyone else in the House of Representatives.

The private bills, which are relatively uncommon, were a way for Filner to draw attention to causes that matter to him — such as immigration reform and civil justice — and to positively impact people’s lives.

Fastidious about paper clips

If Filner was obsessed with constituent service, he was equally obsessed with the tiniest minutiae within his congressional office – literally down to the size of the paper clips. If someone used a paper clip that was too small, Filner was known to erupt. There was an elaborate system of color-coded file folders for organizing various memos, correspondences and other documents. There were strict, unbending rules about which staffers could write in which colored ink.

To avoid having Filner “completely lose his mind,” it was necessary “to literally eyeball every piece of paper that got into his hands” to make sure there were no violations of some obscure Filner rule, said the staffer whose father worked for a bank.

It was understood that getting yelled at by Filner was part of the job. No one had any illusions about Filner’s demeanor.

There was always a moment of dread when an employee received a written note saying, “See me.” The “See me” notes were always written in blue -- as a general rule, only Filner was permitted to write in blue ink -- and virtually always signaled Filner’s intent to light into you.

“He was the only guy in the world who would schedule a time to yell at you,” one staffer said.

Hoffmeister recalled one episode in which Filner began yelling at him for an alleged mistake. After allowing Filner to vent for a while, Hoffmeister finally interrupted and explained that he hadn’t actually made a mistake. At that point, Filner “yelled at me for not telling him he was wrong before he went on this long rant,” Hoffmeister said.

Nothing about Filner’s behavior changed during his run for mayor. One staffer close to his campaign said she became fed up with Filner’s “abusive” behavior toward her, which included yelling at her in front of large groups of people. Finally one day, she said, she pulled Filner aside and told him, “The way you’re treating me is demoralizing.”

“Go be f demoralized then,” she said he replied.

Then came Filner’s election, followed by a series of well-publicized blow-ups and feud with other city officials – and, eventually, the parade of women accusing him of unwanted groping, kissing and a variety of other misdeeds.

San Diego County Supervisor Ron Roberts, who has known Filner for decades, said he was stunned by the recent allegations. The two men served together on the city council in the late 1980s and he never witnessed or heard of Filner engaging in any sort of sexual harassment.

He did, however, observe the same traits that have characterized Filner’s entire career. “He just didn’t treat people well,” Roberts said.

The two men were elected to the council the same year and were sworn in together. According to Roberts, during the swearing-in ceremony – normally a festive, non-partisan affair – Filner issued a scathing critique of Mayor Maureen O’Connor, who was sitting in the audience.

“I’ve watched him turn situations around that were friendly and relaxed to where he insults everybody within hearing distance,” Roberts said.

Another person who served with Filner on the council during that term was Wes Pratt, who has since left politics and now works as an executive at Missouri State University. On the council, both were Democrats who found themselves aligned on many political issues and the two men have stayed in touch over the years, although Pratt says he considers Filner more a former colleague than an actual friend.

In early May, Pratt found himself in San Diego and dropped by the mayor’s office for a visit. Filner was happy to see him and the two men talked for awhile in a large conference room. Pratt complimented Filner, not just for winning the mayor’s race but for his long, productive career in public office.

“The long-term commitment you’ve made to public service is commendable,” Pratt told the mayor. “You embody the slogan, ‘Public service is the noblest good.’”

Filner smiled and even seemed to blush a bit as Pratt heaped praise on him.

During his resignation speech, Filner reminded his colleagues on the council and residents of his accomplishments as mayor. He was contrite, apologizing repeatedly to women he offended and to the city. At times close to tears, and in the next moment, defiant. He condemned the forces that sought to remove from office the first Democratic mayor in 50 years.

“People opposed me from the beginning,” he said. “They found the weapons they needed in my own failures as a human being, but they found those weapons and they used them in a bloody and vicious way.”

Pratt said he hadn’t seen the other side of Bob Filner. The allegations shocked and stunned him.

“I had no idea the storm was coming,” he said.

Pratt was back in Missouri in July when his daughter in San Diego texted him a prescient question that even his staunchest allies can’t answer.

“What the hell is wrong with Bob Filner?”

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Avatar for user 'Brawleyite'

Brawleyite | August 24, 2013 at 8:58 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

To be honest, it was painful to watch this all unravel and play out the way it did for most of us citizens here in San Diego County - no matter which side of the fence you sit on. He is a human-being after-all and hopefully, now he will have the time to focus on making peace with all those who he has offended or bullied over the years and also work on his inter-personal the end of the day, the only worthwhile thing we have is our connections with one another...

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Avatar for user 'muckapoo1'

muckapoo1 | August 24, 2013 at 9:19 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Amazing how this guy continues to blame others for his mess. My grandchildren have been raised with more responsibility than that. I am so glad this guy is political toast. Can't wait until next Friday. Will he hold a Bible and actually cry? Or will he be foaming at the mouth spitting venom? Either way, he will be gone. That is the right prescription for the sickness he brought to our fine city. With this sexual history, anyone who would consider hiring him would be committing legal suicide. The "we were not aware" defense is forever gone. Retirement is his only option. Let the lawsuits and legal problems begin. That should keep his idle hands busy. LOL

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Avatar for user 'JeffOnWire'

JeffOnWire | August 24, 2013 at 9:31 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

What does the word "inewsource" mean? I thought it was a typo at first, but it appears at least twice.

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Avatar for user 'CarlosDangler'

CarlosDangler | August 24, 2013 at 9:39 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Refers to:

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Avatar for user 'Joanne Faryon'

Joanne Faryon, KPBS Staff | August 24, 2013 at 10:17 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Thanks CarlosDanger .
Hi JeffOnWire,
inewsource is a non-profit and independent investigative journalism unit embedded in the KPBS newsroom. Alex Roth works for inewsource and wrote this story.

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Avatar for user 'suzdelzio'

suzdelzio | August 24, 2013 at 10:33 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

The limits and complexity of the human mind that Filner demonstrates drives me to watch stuff like LA Shrinks and Catfish, too. We baffle ourselves! There are too many variations of dysfunction to ever settle on one answer, I guess.

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Avatar for user 'Peking_Duck_SD'

Peking_Duck_SD | August 24, 2013 at 11:50 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

I'm glad Bob spared the city the pain of a recall and having this scandal fester.

He did the right thing by stepping down, and city officials did the right thing accepting a deal to end this now.

I am disappointed because I do share Bob's vision for the city and I am upset he caused his own demise by behaving inappropriately.

With that said, I don't hate him.

He has a sex addiction problem.

Hi addiction is o powerful it allowed him to put his career in jeopardy and hurt he people he loves.

And I truly believe he does love his ex-fiancé.

I hope that Bob continues with therapy and is able to get past this and lead a fulfilling life.

I also hope his victims are able to get past this and lead fulfilling lives as well.

I am skeptical, however, about the amount of money I heard Allred is seeking in the case she filed.

It's in the millions.

While the woman was, I believe, treated inappropriately by Bob, I fail to see how she would arrive at damages in the millions.

She was not physically harmed, mentally tortured, or financially harmed to the amount of millions of dollars.

Hell, for a couple million dollars Bob can tell me to not wear underwear to work any day.

I'm not minimizing the humiliation this woman felt, but I don't think Bob nor the citizens of San Diego should be on the hook to pay out millions for this.

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Avatar for user 'muckapoo1'

muckapoo1 | August 24, 2013 at 12:19 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

The scary part is that people put a term like "sex addiction problem" on his bad behavior. Seems that there is some psycho-babble excuse for everything these days. Perhaps he should be required to be treated as sexual predator and be forced to register as such.

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Avatar for user 'thompsonrichard'

thompsonrichard | August 24, 2013 at 1:27 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Thank you, Alex Roth: well-written!

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Avatar for user 'hoffmeister'

hoffmeister | August 24, 2013 at 2:15 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Despite his interpersonal skills or lack thereof, BF spent over 50 years fighting for the underdog. Unlike many politicians, he actually care and wanted to help others. People should remember this the next time they have an issue with city hall or feel that those with wealth exercise too much control over how government operates.

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Avatar for user 'thompsonrichard'

thompsonrichard | August 24, 2013 at 2:23 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

You got that right Hoffmeister! you haven't lived until you witness a homeless family rousted from a sidewalk by the police. The 11-year old girl twists her fingers and screams.  Look at the police officer's eyes, little girl, not at the dog!  She develops a lifetime phobia.  I know a woman who, when she sees a family's friendly yellow lab a block away, grabs and hides against me.

There are way too many homeless children, grandparents and nonparents? on the streets.  The Cato Institute is nothing but a festering dogsore.

I witnessed the above scene under the previous mayor, currently CEO of the SD Chamber of Commerce paid $600,000 yearly;  Under Ingram and Filner it was unthinkable. I never thought the city in which I grew up could change for the better so quickly!

During the time KPBS reported Filner AWOL both he and Gloria appeared at a large church gathering in Southeast San Diego (the former was much better received than the later). I hope Todd Gloria, a gay man, will continue in the Ingram-Filner "tradition" with regard to homelessness (for want of a better word to cover too short a time span). 

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Avatar for user 'DonWood'

DonWood | August 24, 2013 at 5:29 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

San Diego needs adult supervision. There are two experienced and highly qualified people who could lead this city can clean things up after this horrid public lynching. Two politicians who would never be accused of sexual harassment or of doing rotten inside deals with local development special interest. Those two politicians are Chris Kehoe and Donna Frye. I have no idea whether either of them would be interested in seeking the mayor's office after watching the local medial make mincemeat of the current mayor, but either one of them would be the city's best bet for stability and integrity, especially if they retain Walt Eckard as the city's chief operating officer. San Diego needs a time of quiet competency in governance to rebuild its national reputation. Chris or Donna would provide that kind of leadership. Electing any of the current crop of politicians who helped lead the lynch mob would be just ensuring more years of political scandal and embarrassment.

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Avatar for user 'CarlosDangler'

CarlosDangler | August 24, 2013 at 6:24 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago


I share your well-wishing sentiments for Bob Filner.


The 'lynch mob' argument does not hold water with me. It is a ridiculous analogy and you are playing apologist by fabricating excuses. I, as a citizen, wanted him out of office. Not tortured because of the color of his skin. That's insulting to me and to many people of color, i imagine, and to all victims and the victims relatives in the South.

I'm happy Filner is stepping aside and moving on to write books. Very happy. And as Peking says, i wish Bob Filner the best, i truly do. I hope he gets the help he needs, i hope he is more honest with himself about his foibles and at this late stage of his life, I hope he learns to reflect more and i hope he one day learns how to collaborate better with people including those subordinate to him.

He is not the type of personality who should lead a city.

We need a Mayor who knows how to unite people for the common good. Filner doesn't 'own' the DNC platform or agenda. He was it's flawed messenger. San Diego does not need and should not appoint a divisive Mayor who .splits citizens along party lines by raising fabricated conspiracy theories to cover his vices/foibles. The DNC can have a new or more effective messenger that serves to unite and deliver the same DNC platform.

People that choose public office do so to do good. Part of the price of being a Politician is to live up to a higher standard and prove to the majority you are doing good. and to be either praised for doing it well otherwise, be publicly judged by the media and citizenry for your failures and vices. It goes with the territory. It's not mincemeat. Its part of the job description. He, by his own actions, chose the later path. He is an educated man. He should know what he's doing by 70 years old when it comes to treating people respectfully.

It is simple. If he acted out of virtue and not of vice, he and we would not be in this predicament. He coulda woulda shoulda have been in his 'happy' place.

Politics if for Philosopher Kings. If he cheated on his resume, he needs to step down.

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Avatar for user 'syounger'

syounger | August 25, 2013 at 9:26 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Yes, Peking Duck, you ARE minimizing the humiliation these women felt.

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Avatar for user 'Missionaccomplished'

Missionaccomplished | August 25, 2013 at 9:47 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

_uckapoo1, and pray tell, whom do we blame for your prejudice, intolerance, bigotry, lack of knowledge, and Social Darwinism you have expressed in your posts?

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Avatar for user 'Missionaccomplished'

Missionaccomplished | August 25, 2013 at 9:53 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

1) DUCKSTER, pray tell how do you see this as a "sex addiction" problem??? Are you a psychologist or psychiatrist? Or, have you spoken personally with his ex?

2) S. YOUNGER, sooo the, uh, "humiliation" of HIGH-PROFILE women is worth in the millions??? Why is it that NO ONE had filed a lawsuit when this first broke out??? WHY is it that even afterward, ONE ONE woman filed a lawsuit???

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Avatar for user 'Missionaccomplished'

Missionaccomplished | August 25, 2013 at 9:56 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Okay, so he was highly unprofessional and he SCREAMED at people. So did a former female principal at a high school in Chula Vista where I worked in 2004-2005. Did Doc Brand fire her for SCREAMING? No.

Size of paper clips? Okay, so he is a control freak. So was Kubrick. Your point?

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Avatar for user 'CarlosDangler'

CarlosDangler | August 25, 2013 at 11:31 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Missionaccomplished- I am sorry you were screamed at by your female principal. Everyone deserves respect in the workplace. You need to check if she violated policy and determine your rights. It is in your best interest and perhaps you can find others who've experienced similar mistreatment, upwards of 5 would show a pattern of abuse. (~18 and evidence of abuse is overwhelming)

As for comparing someone who chooses to step in to 'political life' vice the profession of Education Administration or teaching... that's comparing apples and oranges. The requirements for those roles are different than what we expect from our Politicians.

Its like saying " Oh so what if your Doctor took your husbands wrong testicle. He's my Doctor too, I like my Doctor and I don't want to change Doctors. And besides, I once knew a Veterinarian who castrated the wrong donkey. And I don't hear anybody bitching about that."

Why make excuses for a someone who failed miserably at their job as our City's Leader and our Representative? You need to get over the fact that this is not partisan issue.

During Aristotles time, long before Jesus Christ walked the earth, Politics has always been known as a 'Noble Profession' for Ethical Leaders who bring people together. lead by example, who act according to virtue. He failed at this miserably and his ungraceful exit was icing on the cake of his true character. I am not only talking about his failings related to his accusers. I'm talking about the hypocrisy of his actions. The " Do as I say, not as I do, I can do whatever i want." attitude. Check this out:

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Avatar for user 'muckapoo1'

muckapoo1 | August 25, 2013 at 4:16 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Mission, I just don't like perverts who use their power to take advantage of others.How am I a bigot and prejudice? Strong talk for an educator. Seems to me you are guilty of both. And you have power over our youth? Yuk !!!!!

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Avatar for user 'CarlosDangler'

CarlosDangler | August 25, 2013 at 4:47 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

The 1960s was an interesting era. Some interesting legacies have revealed themselves as time has passed. Those who protested some 40 years ago often still congratulate themselves that their loud zeal alone brought needed "change" to America in civil rights, the environment, women's liberation and world peace. Maybe. But in reality, Bob Filner has proven to be a hypocritical self-congratulatory ME first Legacy and confirms that the ME Generation was one of the most self-absorbed in memory.

There is a certain coarseness and self-righteousness that still plagues our politics. You see the grandiose sermonizing about changing the world while offering few practical details how to do it. I'm starting to think the only thing Filner was bringing to the table that was 'unique' to either political party aside from his coarseness was his support for his undying support for his LABOR friends.

Labor's silence offended me throughout the Filner ordeal enough to ensure that i will scrutize my vote for the new Mayor. I am not beholden to a amoral Labor group by being forced to pay them monthly "dues" thank God, and then sit and watch them misuse funds of the many to pay for political influence for the few. Some Labor dude ( Morones) overtly backed him to the end too. Not a good marketing strategy. Wonder if that name translates the way i think it does to English. I hear to watch out for Lemmon, Morones, Kehoe, Hueso, Emerald ... there are probably more you are paid to play politicians. I don't like this modus operandi for our representatives.

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Avatar for user 'Peking_Duck_SD'

Peking_Duck_SD | August 25, 2013 at 4:56 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Mission, when someone can't help doing something to the point they put their entire livelihood in jeapordy as they do it over and over again it's usually an addiction. You are correct, I'm not a psychologist but it's my opinion as are all the comments from everyone.

Syounger, I have stood with the victims, recognized their corageousness in coming forward and asked for Filner's resignation, but im not willing to coddle these peoplebasnif they were raped and say they deserve millions of dollars from the city.

Let's please try to keep this in perspective, they were unwantingly hit on by a dirty old man, no more, no less.

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Avatar for user 'CarlosDangler'

CarlosDangler | August 25, 2013 at 5:37 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Peking -

I do not 'always' agree with you, ( but i often do ),

I want to say kudos to you for your reasoning. i like the way you make your case, .

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Avatar for user 'ChrisH'

ChrisH | August 26, 2013 at 1:31 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

I posted the below coment on the discussion thread at

I feel its appropriate here also!!

CarlosDangler...... lol...... you are a joke and so are your comments, You have clearly shown yourself to be the bully of the thread. Your post are meaningless rhetoric that i'll just be skipping over .....dont bother a three post response, i wont read it. It would make this thread a lot more compact and meaningful though if you abstained from spewing your non inquisitive anti critical thinking messages that fall more in line with a fringe extremism found on fox news, or so i thought. (except for all that philosophy you paste and clicked out of context, you should at least have cited it!!!) shake my head ......sigh....

Brad Martin and Erik Anderson remind me of the announcers for those giant used car tent sales lol Sandhya Dirks has been signs off like Trisha Takanawa from Family Guy or any sub 100k small town reporter. I think a lot of small towns have way better reporting than this. Its a shame, but when i listen to Warren Olney and all the programming coming from kcrw in santa monica i dont see why we couldnt have that here. I'm just glad it still exists. When noon rolls around the programming is such a joke (sorry Maureen) that i wish Tom fudge was on with "these days" still I'm a supporter and it's all we got *shrug*

No matter you stance on Bob's political views, my views or your own. It's a sad Day for Democracy!! I voted for Bob Filner, I am sad for my hometown to say the least. I LOVE San Diego. But there has been no due process. He has not been convicted. Nothing has been proved in court. We paid for a serial rapist cops defence and Bob should have his day in court just like those women victims and just like any other citizen under the law. What about Democracy!!! Todd Gloria is not who i voted for. Nor is he a person i would be proud to call our mayor.

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Avatar for user 'ChrisH'

ChrisH | August 26, 2013 at 1:35 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Btw This article feels more like a UT smear piece than actual reporting....this is a joke!!!

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Avatar for user 'thompsonrichard'

thompsonrichard | August 27, 2013 at 9:36 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

It WAS a lynching... The 200+ Democratic National Committee in Phoenix, AR voted unamimously by voice without discussion to demand his resignation (and the language of the motion added that, should 10-term Democratic Congressman Bob Filner not resign, any and all measures would be pursued to rid the political scene of his presence including bonding with Dave Beck & His Rancho Santa Fe Hooters). Bob had signed his resignation 24 hours previous to the convocation of the DNC hooligans in a city due east of San Diego and it -- his resignation -- was being held by a mediator pending City Council of San Diego acceptance and more importantly, public input on the details of the fait accompli.

My father's greatest thrill was being selected to drive Eleanor Roosevelt to a $100-a-plate fundraiser at the El Cortez Hotel when I was twelve years old. She stopped by our house to use the facilities. She placed her hand on my head -- sealing me in the Old Shoe Tribe forever. That was in '56. In Dec. '61, I attended a Martin Luther King Jr. speech at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. It was announced he would leave through the front entrance, and the audience was urged to stay in the seats. But I stood in the aisle anyway, and he shook my hand as he and his entourage left the building. In '08 I was a delegate to the Hawaii State Convention (for the third time).
I was pledged to Hillary. I couldn't understand why my fellow Unitarian-Universalists were reluctant to support Hillary. Then it was pointed out to me that Maya, who sang in the choir with her husband, was half-sister to Barry (who'd received his and hers early religious education upstairs. I continued to send small contributions to Hillary even after Madame Pelosi urged Hillary to withdraw. I sent her $20 eight times for her eight primary victories after the ukase. If the DNC wanted to help female candidates by lynching Bob Filner, they've failed. I much prefer the candidate who, "like a hillocky bull in the swelter of summer/ comes in his great, good time, to the sultry, biding herd" to the lynch mob of Phoenix.

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Avatar for user 'MarineRoom'

MarineRoom | August 27, 2013 at 9:56 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Mission and Thompson:

You are right and they are wrong. Even after they've gotten their way, and driven a man out of office who was doing a fantastic job, on the basis of unproven charges, they cannot focus on the new options but must needs keep saying how bad the fellow was. Better for them to move on to their better choices, and leave the man alone. Or perhaps they are not having quite as good a time making proactive decisions as they were casting stones?

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Avatar for user 'MarineRoom'

MarineRoom | August 29, 2013 at 8:50 a.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Filner's staunchest allies did not desert him. The craven did. Others that the author seems to think were staunch allies were obviously not..."what's wrong with Bob Filner?" How about some evidence first?

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Avatar for user 'CarlosDangler'

CarlosDangler | August 29, 2013 at 5:36 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

ChrisH MarineRoom ThompsonRichard and MissionAccomplished-

I have finally determined what ails you. I am sorry for my bullying posts. It is apparent to me now I need to be more empathetic to your plight. You are suffering. Grieving.
You are obviously experiencing the Kübler-Ross DABNA stages of grief. There is a trending progression to the emotion clearly evident in your posts. Let me explain the stages in progression.

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me." Why 'my' Bob Filner? Why?
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of partisan platform policies that will be left behind after a Mayoral Ouster. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.

Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!";"Due Process" "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?" "He is 'my' Mayor and I hate all of 'them' "They did this to me!"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to deal with for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others regardless of Political affiliation. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief. Humor them even if they don't need logic to appease their anger.

Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years to have my Bob back."; "I will give my life savings if Bob walked through the door with the key to the city..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay the Mayoral Ouster. Usually, the negotiation for an extended time in office is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand Mayor is headed out the door, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." People facing less serious political issues can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. Or Mediation perhaps.Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if the Mayor's shortcomings have assured his ouster.

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CarlosDangler | August 29, 2013 at 5:37 p.m. ― 3 years, 7 months ago

Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "He's history and i know it so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, you begin to understand the certainty of his ouster. Because of this, you may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the you to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.

Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their the fact they need to move on and look for alternative Mayoral Candidates,. This stage varies according to the person's situation.

I empathize with you and feel all of your pain. I wish you successful passage to the Acceptance stage and peace in the valley for all of San Diego in the hereafter.

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