The video was the story of Ryland. A beautiful little girl who insisted she was a boy. After considerable soul-searching the Willington family decided to listen to their child and help Ryland transition. It was a controversial decision within their own circle. With a healthy and happy son there out with a book. Joining me is Ryland's mother Hillary Whittington author of raising Ryland. A story of parenting a transgender child with no strings attached. It is co-authored by Christine [Indiscernible]. Here is Ryland's dad. Jeff Whittington. The video you posted when viral. It has more than 7 million views. What his life been since your release the video of residence transition two years ago? It is been pretty typical. We do the same things that we did before. I have been writing the book in the process. We tried to keep things as normal and usual as possible. Were you surprised that they were so much interest in this? I think we new there was going to be a lot of talk, and a lot that came from it. We were actually very protective of the video for quite some time. It had been built for a different purpose. The initial response that we got when it was first viewed from the small parties that we showed it to give us an indication that this had the potential to explode on us. I would not say we were overwhelmed -- we were overwhelmed, but we were not surprised by what happened. Take us back to win Ryland was a tiger. He suffered from hearing problems, and went on to get cochlear implants. Very soon after the surgery your baby girl began to say I am a boy. Did you try to ignore that Hillary? We thought it was funny at first. We thought our daughter was confused, and would maybe be a tomboy, we do not realize how deep it was running in the shame that was underneath. When we started to see the shame and the pain underneath his expression of doing masculine things that is when we started to pay closer attention. Ryland is your first child in your new parents. What it is do to your relationship as new parents? It was really difficult. I will be the first to admit this pushed us nearly to our breaking point as a couple. With our relationship it was tough. The biggest component was that we were not on the same page. Hillary was much more proactive in doing the research and getting the information. It took me time to get there. I pushed back for a lot longer. I think that caused a lot of strain. How did you push back? I was turning a blind eye. I said, but I already knew my child was good to go through so much with the cochlear implants. In the struggle that we have gone through with that was already very difficult. I cannot accept at face the potential that my child was going to be subject to even more scrutiny or criticism. The opportunity to be bullied or whatever it may be. I cannot get myself to the point where I could say okay, I understand what's going on. Hillary, you were more proactive or open to listening to Ryland, and what he was actually saying to you at that time. At what point if you can find a point, did you know in your heart and mind that this was serious? This was something you cannot ignore, and this was something that had I time repercussions? I think a big moment for me was seeing other families going through the same thing. One family in particular had a seven-year-old child who try to run out in front of oncoming traffic because her mom would not let her wear a princess dress on hollowing. My son is five years old and I can imagine putting him through anymore torture. It was a deeper pain than just a child saying I want to be a dog or I want to be Superman. It was completely different. When you finally decided this is what is going to happen, Ryland is going to transition, what changes did you make? There is nothing that we did that was not reversible. We allowed Ryland to cut his hair, we changed his bedroom, he was already wearing low close -- boy clothes for the most part. That was all we did. The rest was up to Ryland? Absolutely. A lot of this has been taking a step back and having to let Ryland guide us a little bit through what he was feeling, and allow him the room to express himself. And note that he was in a safe spot to do that. One of the things that my trouble people about the concept of transgender is it seems to reinforce some stereotypes about gender. You show Ryland playing baseball, and removing the pink from his room. Lots of girl played baseball, and lots of girls do not like pink. If you go into the heart of this it seems to me that what you are saying is that you were saying this was something that was so deeply troubling to your child that you potentially threatened his life. Yes. I wanted him to develop into a happy child. At the time I could see he was very unhappy, and he started to pick up on our social cues. It was okay for him to be a tomboy, but when he was a I am a boy, he could pick up on our hesitation and our uncomfortableness. He started to say things to make us happy, and to try to be who we wanted him to be. When did you realize that Jeff? That this was something so central to your child? It was the first support group that we went to. When I heard other parents talking, and they heard our store, and we listen to their stories. There was a parent who stopped and looked at us and said you have no idea how lucky you are to be addressing this now. We wished that we were listening to our tile back then. We ignored it for so long. You couple that with the statistic of the 41% suicide rate in the transgender population. It was unacceptable to think about not addressing this with Ryland and figuring out what was going on. We were talking about the time when you change pronouns and cut here -- here, what age was he? He was five years old. He was in a prekindergarten. What happened at school? What was the reaction of the school? Surprisingly it was more supportive than we had anticipated. We give them the heads up on what is going on. This is what we think we have on our hands. Working to put this in Ryland's hand and see where he is going to lead us. Once we gave Ryland opportunity it was a matter of a week. This is what we need to do to support Ryland. The principle and the teacher were on board. They told these children what was going on. They gave the best reaction you could ever expect. It was pretty phenomenal to watch. Kids are pretty easy. They learn everything, so why not learn something new. Ryland is a number of years away from going through puberty. That can be extremely challenging for transgender kids. How do you feel about that? How are you preparing for that? It sounds to me like you are taking things one step at a time. You must have thought? That was the hardest part for me as a mother to know that I would have to make that decision. That Rowling could potentially not bear children on his own. I had another mom say to me you cannot be wearing about your grandchildren when you're trying to worry about your child. And made a lot of sense. Ryland may decide not to have children one day. There are so many options for parents they cannot conceive on their own. I cannot spend my time worrying about something that may not be. We know those challenges are there. we know that puberty is going to be rough. We do have the option which is great of hormone blockers which can extend the onset of puberty until the child is at a point in their life for all the medical providers who are involved with the care can make a decision. It is okay to start a cross hormone treatment. We do not want to see an extension of puberty for so long that he is an outcast. We are sensitive to it. We will take it one step at a time. You must have been aware that earlier this month some parents in the [Indiscernible] school district said they were troubled by a transgender student changing and locker rooms. What to say to someone who is not comfortable with a situation like that.? I think I would start by saying I understand why you are uncomfortable. A lot of it has to do with fear. And a lack of education. The absence of a human connection with someone who is transgender. Knowing their story in the background behind it. When we have a 41% transgender attempted suicide rate we are failing. We are failing to handle this population appropriately as a society and a culture. 41% is an absolute failure. We have to do something different. We have to change that and make an environment that is more supportive. An environment that is more excepting. Most of these kids want privacy as much as any other kid. They are not going into these locker facilities and flaunting things. It is just not happening. Ryland knows when he is at the restroom that he walks in and does not talk to anybody. He knows the severity of how respectful he needs to be in the restroom. He is concerned at his young age about somebody seeing him. I wish that people could get into the mind of these children. They are just trying to be like everybody else. They want their privacy also. Some parents have said when a child transitions they have to do a little bit of mourning for the child that was. Did you have to mourn for Ryland your daughter? Absolutely. All of us as parents tend to paint this picture in her head of what our children's futures will look like. Once I was able to look -- let go of that picture I was able to fully love him, and allow him to grow into who he was going to be. Hillary Whittington will be speaking about and signing her book raising Ryland tomorrow evening at war work In La Jolla. I want to thank you so much for being here. I will add it is next Friday. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having us.
In 2014, the Whittington family of San Diego posted a video online about their 5-year-old child. It told the story of Ryland, a little girl who insisted she was a boy. After considerable soul searching, the Whittington family decided to listen to their child and help Ryland transition.
The video went viral with more than 7 million views.
It was a controversial decision, even among the Whittingtons' family and friends. But today, the parents say they have a happy and healthy 8-year-old son.
The experience led Ryland's mom, Hillary Whittington, to write the book, "Raising Ryland: Our Story of Parenting a Transgender Child with No Strings Attached."
Hillary and Jeff Whittington talked about their family's journey Thursday on KPBS Midday Edition.
"It was a deeper pain than just a child saying, 'I want to be a dog,' or, 'I want to be Superman,'" Hillary said on the show.
She said after awhile the couple changed the pronouns they used to refer to Ryland, let Ryland cut his hair short and changed his room. Within a week his school responded and discussed the changes with his class. They responded positively, she said.
"Kids are so easy," Hillary said.
In response to the news some Rancho Bernardo parents are upset a transgender student who was born female is changing in the boy's locker room, Jeff drew on a UC Los Angeles study showing that 41 percent of transgender adults have attempted suicide.
"I understand why they're uncomfortable, and I think a lot of it has to do with fear and absence of human connection with someone who is transgender," Jeff said. "But 41 percent is an absolute failure, so we have to do something different. We have to make an environment that’s more supportive. And most of these kids want privacy just like every other kid."
