S1: It's time for KPBS Midday Edition. Summer's here in San Diego , and we have some ideas for you to plan a great staycation. I'm Andrew Bracken in for Jade Heinemann with conversations that keep you informed , inspired and make you think.
S2:
S1: Then the role adventure plays in making lasting memories. Plus , for those of us taking a trip , we have some tips on how to travel with kids. That's ahead on Midday Edition. Summer's here in San Diego and so were the tourists. With our near perfect weather and the beaches , it's no surprise that our city. It's a big travel destination. But if you live here , it can be easy to take it all for granted. And that's where the staycation comes in. And San Diego has a whole lot of options to do that. But where do you start ? Joining me is Jackie Bryant. She's business development strategist at San Diego Magazine. Hey , Jackie. Hi.
S2: Hi. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. Welcome back to Midday Edition. So you were actually sort of on vacation right now , but we're going to talk staycations in San Diego.
S2: Being a tourist town , there is no shortage of nice places to stay and things of that nature. I do feel like though , some parts of the county are a little bit obscure to San Diegans , they don't get out and explore too much beyond the coast or beyond what they like to do. So I would say like the ingredients that are necessary is you need beach or mountain. I feel like you have to have one or the other or a city. So it may be one of three things beach , mountain or city. And then you can kind of branch out , branch out from there. I don't think any hotel is getting away these days with lackluster dining and drinking options. I think now it's pretty much required that a hotel has to have an exemplary restaurant and very good bar service. I don't think properties are really getting away without pools anymore , unless they are historic and boutique and in like very interesting downtown , walkable , accessible areas. Or they're in like very special natural places. So I would say a combination of all of those things. Um , and I think as San Diego's dining reputation just continues to improve and climb nationally , that that element is going to be very important , whether there's a good restaurant in the hotel or it's surrounded by them , or it's in like a very buzzy restaurant , neighborhood or part of town. I think that that's going to be the cinch for a lot of staycation travelers because , um , food and and drink tourism these days is , is actually one of the biggest reasons people are coming to San Diego. And it's also one of the biggest reasons , uh , people seek out certain destinations for traveling all across the world. It's like a huge part of travel tourism these days. So , um , I think that that's kind of the required element. And I think those elements with good buzzy design and a really nice outdoor situation , like a pool , that's what's going to drive people in.
S1: You know , you mentioned the role hotels are playing in San Diego culture , and it's kind of the role it plays in staycations. And KPBS Midday Edition producer ash and I were just kind of talking about , you know , how you define what a staycation is. I mean , do you consider it a staycation if I just sleep in my own bed , how important do you feel ? You know , staying somewhere else , getting out of your daily routine is important to really have , you know , a fruitful staycation.
S2: It's a really good question. I actually think an overnight stay is probably required. Um , we we live in a really , really beautiful place with excellent weather. I mean , even me , I have , you know , I live by college area. Got a nice little backyard. I got a little hot tub back there. I mean , I think about it sometimes I'm like , I have a very modest house , but it would be a really nice Airbnb if someone stayed here just by virtue of San Diego being a very nice place. So I'm going to suggest that just by virtue of us living in this beautiful , nice place , you got to get out of your house to make it a real staycation. And I think because it is such a tourist town , there's I mean , there's so many options of really great places to stay that if you can afford it and make it work , why wouldn't you ? Also , a lot of places around town will offer , um , local rates , or they will offer special deals and incentives for locals because they do want us to come in. And I'll add something else to that. Um , because I do a lot of food and drinks writing , and I used to do a ton of travel writing , and I still am sort of like in that , in that realm. One of the biggest like trends in , in bar culture right now is actually the rest is the hotel bar. And that's because hotel properties want to anchor themselves in their local communities. I think everyone got spooked by Covid when travelers stopped coming to places , and so they realized they needed to make these properties a little bit more sustainable and cater to local locals more. So that's why you have , again , hotels doing more and more better bar and dining options. So I think I think you got to get out and do it and stay overnight. I don't think you can call it a vacation if you're not getting out of your house. Otherwise it's just a nice day outing.
S1: Right ? Which can be fun too , but it's not the full staycation experience. Yeah , okay. Yeah. So , you know , let's talk more about some of these hotels , some of these staycation ideas. I mean , what tops your list.
S2: So North County is is kind of the place to be right now. I keep going back to food , but again , it's such a big , um , trend and driver in tourism these days that it's impossible not to talk about. I think , you know , the CTA San Diego Tourism Authority would back me up on this , but , um , North County is screaming. Just got a whole bunch of Michelin adds to the Michelin Guide. The food scene is screaming. There's a bunch of cute hotels. I think it's it's it's probably the place to be because it's also really kid friendly too. But there's also chic , upscale places that don't even allow kids. So on the hotel scene , you've got , um , let's see , you've got The Seabird and Mission Pacific in Oceanside , which I really love , because obviously it's oceanfront , you've got rooftop , you've got a lot of dining options. All of the rooms are refreshed and really beautiful , and you have different , different types of rooms for different types of travelers or local vacationers. Um , and again , that can be kid friendly. That can be just adult friendly. And it's right , you know , situated from the whole main drag of Oceanside where you can get to South. Oh , easily. And then all of you know , the restaurants on the main drag to the Clippers recently came back to town. So that's also happening in Oceanside. You've got a bunch of buzzy restaurants like Mirinda Wine Bar , Little Fox Cups and cones. Um , you know , the Jessica and Dave and Weight ranch and rodent empire. Um , I could I could go on forever.
S1: Honestly , Oceanside is really having its moment.
S2: So Oceanside is kind of it , um , a little bit down the road in Encinitas , you've got the Inn at Moonlight Beach , which is one of my favorite little hotels. And I think another driver for San Diego hotels is probably spa options. Not every hotel locally has always had them historically. But in the last several years , because I edited and managed San Diego Magazine's Spa Guide for many years , every year you could see at least ten 5 to 10 properties shutting their spa for a little bit and redoing them. And that that's all been happening since Covid. So you're seeing a lot of new and refreshed spa properties all across the county. And that also dovetails with the national and international trend of of wellness tourism. And obviously San Diego being so Cal Beach wellness oriented. We're really primed for that. And then one more thing is Coronado. Coronado super happening right now ? Um , there is a new boutique hotel opening that's owned by um consortium Consortium Holdings. And the Del actually unveiled its $550 million refresh , which is incredible. It's renovated a whole bunch of properties , added a Nobu restaurant , added veranda restaurant. Um , they redid their spot as well , which is actually excellent before , and I can't even imagine how good it's going to be now. So that's obviously a family friendly place. That's somewhere you can go as a local just to eat dinner and go home. And they've even they've added a whole bunch of new hotel rooms and even refreshed all of the old parts. So I would say North County , the Del , probably the two things that are most happening right now. And then I'll throw in very quickly the opening of the Gaylord Pacific , obviously in Chula Vista at the waterfront. Yeah , that's the biggest hotel project in California history. And that just opens. So that's a huge one too. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. Tell us more about that. I mean , I've seen some pictures of some cool looking water slides , but but what would make. Yeah. What's the draw there that's drawn people there this summer.
S2: It's huge. And I think that's really that's the main thing. This is something interesting about San Diego is that historically , and that's because of coastal laws and sequa and all , all sorts of , you know , different regulations and private property owning and public property hotels have not really been able to take too much advantage of our oceanfront. And that's kind of a nice consequence of California's environmental laws. Right. So it's very interesting that the Gaylord opens on the waterfront , um , like the Dell doing its refresh and a couple of other oceanfront properties. You've got , Um , you've got Alila Moraga up in Encinitas also , which is adults only , but that's also oceanfront. It's kind of this newer trend of widening that access for people in a place where I think people think there's more beach vacation option than there really is , if that makes sense. So the Gaylord is interesting because it is waterfront. It's in Chula Vista , which last time I checked. Um , Chula Vista isn't really a tourism hotbed so that there are that many hotel rooms in Chula Vista is a huge deal. There are 12 restaurants on site. There's a lazy river , about a zillion pools , all sorts of activities. And so I think the point is to Vegas like , like set a Vegas standard and San Diego resorts where people come , they stay at the resort , and they don't actually need a reason to leave. I think that's some of the casino models obviously have taken that up. If you go up to Harrah's up in Valley Center. Um , you know , funner , I guess it's technically called , um , that's a one stop shop that you never have to leave. Adults like that. Kids also really like that. So it's really good for families. So I think the Gaylord is kind of that Vegas style resort , but more family oriented. And that makes more sense for San Diego.
S1: Got it. Yeah. So we've covered some really good options in the south part of the county. And in North County. Let's move into San Diego and to North Park. We reached out to our newsroom here at KPBS to get their staycation ideas , and our senior producer at Evening Edition , Kim Swain , suggested the Lafayette Hotel in North Park. You know , that's something you mentioned the Dell and their reopening from their remodel.
S2: I wrote about the Dell's refresh , and I also wrote about the Lafayette's refresh. It's incredible. I mean , both of those properties are on the National Historic Register of Historic Properties , so they had to be painstakingly renovated according to historic codes and everything had to be checked and verified. So it's pretty incredible what the Lafayette has been able to do. Obviously , there's a number of bars and restaurants on site. They redone the pool , refresh the rooms. It's the same original footprint. So you're not going to get like bigger , more luxurious rooms necessarily. But the the the finishes are updated and I think it's really breathed new life into that stretch of El Cajon. And I know that it's somewhere that obviously people come from out of town , but I know tons of people who have hung out there and me personally , I have actually done two staycations there , one solo and one with my whole family , including my kids. And I know among the maybe like Gen-X millennials set with young kids right now , it's actually a very , very , very popular place to do staycations with your kids. And , uh , let me just say that I and maybe some other people have seen Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats take their own kids for staycations at the Lafayette. So it's a celebrity approved.
S1: Any other ideas for parents ? Because I do think that's something , you know , a lot of parents this time of year looking for for places that's , you know , kid friendly.
S2: Definitely town and country , I think is I love taking my son there. I love going to hang out there. The food is really good. The restaurants are really good. The bars are really nice , the pools are great. It gets a little crowded on weekends. They can oversell those pool passes a little bit , but if you've got a few days or or you're able to take on a non weekend day , town and country is is honestly amazing. A really , really family friendly spot. All of the resorts in the Bay and mission Bay are also super friendly to You've Got Bahia , which just opened Bianchi , the new pizza spot. They're super friendly , family friendly. You've got the catamaran. So all of those resorts in mission Bay also , a lot of them have undergone refreshes and are super family friendly as well.
S1: And then a lot of them , you can get these kind of resort passes to , right where maybe if you're not staying there , but you can still use the pool and kind of have a good day out.
S2: That's something I've taken advantage from , is , again , a local with young kids. And our summers have been getting pretty hot. It's already really hot. Um , Manchester Grand Hyatt , that's a really good hotel with a very , uh , a few kid friendly pools. I think there's one pool on one level that is exclusively kid only , and they have a very affordable day pass. Uh , so does town and Country. And that also comes with , like , food and beverage options. There are cabana options. And I would say most , most resort properties around San Diego County do have some kind of day pass option. And some of them have special local options too. So I think that's the coolest part about taking advantage of our tourist economy here personally. We've got a lot of really great pools around.
S1: Yeah , I mean , in another , you know , one of the potential benefits of of doing a staycation rather than , you know , maybe a big trip is it can be cheaper , right , than traveling somewhere else. So , you know. Do you have any tips for getting the most bang for your buck while in staycation mode in San Diego. Definitely.
S2: Definitely. I do want to encourage people to remember that we live near an international border and also in a very geographically diverse region. So of course , we've got the beach in San Diego proper , North County , South County , we've got East County where there are mountains , there's deserts , there's the more newly , in the last two years , a reopened hot Springs hotel , for example. You could go out a little bit further to Borrego Springs. I think that still kind of counts as a staycation if it's within a two hour drive , I think it counts as a staycation. I'm going to I'm going to set that for a two hour limit. Yeah , that's what I'm kind of thinking. Just because California is so big and expansive and we can go a lot of places , let's say two hours. So I want to encourage people to , um , get curious about your own backyard. I was a travel writer professionally. That was my main income for many , many , many years , and I was sidelined from that once Covid hit. And so I had to quickly think like , how do you make it as a travel writer when you can't travel or actually go anywhere. And the answer is to get curious about your hometown and where you live. And it turns out that there's I guarantee this is true for everybody. There is so much that you don't even know about and that is unturned and and different corners of the county you haven't even thought of. Like there's a little like a roadside motel up in near Valley Center , near a lot of the Native American reservations called lazy H ranch. And that has like a big oak tree , live oak tree going through its bar. Bill Murray pops in sometimes when he's in town and they've got , like , an incredible killer steak and strawberry shortcake , for example. So there's just all these little roadside spots. You go driving through Pine Valley , something like that. Again , you end up in Hot Springs. So just remember , there's a lot more to do outside of the city. And that we just it's a tourist place for a reason. There's so much to explore. So I would really inspire people to look within our own backyard even before going out , because a staycation doesn't have to be a compromise or a Or lesser than trip or vacation , especially when you live in one of the hottest tourist destinations in the country. It's kind of a boon , actually. We're very lucky that we get to do this.
S1: Well , this has been great , jacki. Thanks for , you know , throwing these ideas out there. I think the challenge for a lot of us is , you know , you just get stuck in your your day to day routines. You know , you have your favorite taco shop. I don't know , sometimes.
S3: And like I said , it's nice here.
S2: Like , my backyard is actually really nice.
S1: Place to be. Yeah.
S3: Yeah , yeah.
S2: And also just I love the romanticism of seeing where you live , um , through other eyes and through another perspective. Right. I think that can get breathe a little life into all of us. Absolutely.
S1: Absolutely. I've been speaking with Jacki Bryant. She's business development strategist at San Diego Magazine. Jackie , thanks so much.
S2: Thank you.
S1: When Midday Edition returns , we continue our exploration of the San Diego staycation and the importance of adding a little adventure into it.
S4: Summer is the best time , I think , to have an adventure here. I mean , we have we have everything here. We have mountains , we have coast , we have beaches , we have waves.
S1: That's coming up after the break. You're listening to KPBS Midday Edition. I'm Andrew Bracken in for Jade Hyneman. On the show today , we're talking about how to plan the perfect staycation here in San Diego. And lucky for us , there's a lot of options. We have hotels , we have luxury resorts. Words pool , spa , you name it. Another great option , though , is to get out in nature. And joining me with some ideas to do that is Shelby Stanger. She is the author of the book Will to wild and host of the Rei podcast Wild Ideas Worth Living. Shelby , welcome back to Midday Edition.
S4: I'm always excited to be here. Thank you for having me.
S1: We're excited to have you. So what makes something an adventure , in your view.
S4: Are some things adventure. If it gets you a little out of your comfort zone and scares you , but also propels your life forward in a positive way. So climbing a mountain is a little scary. But once you get to the top , you can't help but feel better about yourself and your whole day. And there's so many good things about adventure , but an adventure , in my opinion , also has to be in nature because nature is healing. But it also adds this element of surprise , and there's so many chances to experience the wonderful. Benefits of awe in nature.
S1: So interesting. I mean , you know , you mentioned nature , but also pushing yourself.
S4: And then we take that courage with us to the rest of our everyday lives. And it's not an adventure unless it is a little scary. Like all of us can go out to a restaurant , right ? That's just normal. But if it's a new restaurant that maybe serves a food that we're not necessarily accustomed to , or gets us a little bit out of our daily routine , well , that can be an adventure. It can be a small adventure , but definitely I'm interested in the adventures that happen mostly in the wild. Yeah.
S1: Yeah.
S4: Summer is the best time , I think , to have an adventure here. I mean , we have we have everything here. We have mountains , we have coast , we have beaches , we have waves. And it's really easy to be adventurous here because there's coffee shops and really good food and tacos pretty much within like a quarter mile of anywhere you go. Have a good adventure.
S1: All right. So , you know , off the top of my head , when I think of outdoor staycations , I , you know , camping comes to mind.
S4: And I really like it because it offers alternative camping sites , so it's tricky sometimes to book. I love Santa Leo campgrounds , Carter State Campground. I also like Carlsbad State Campground. It's really fun to camp on the beach. If you're in Cardiff , you can just walk across the street to Seaside Market , get all of your food. Go to Rose Hill for your coffee. Get vgs donuts. Surf out front. I mean , it couldn't be an easier place to camp. However , not always easy to get a campsite. Hip camp lets you camp on these alternative sites , so it's often people with extra land in the back of their yard. And sometimes they have llamas and goats. And I once stayed at a hip camp site that was like a converted castle. Uh , it was in Joshua Tree. So it wasn't necessarily directly in San Diego , but it was right outside. And there's just a lot of other places to camp. You can camp on people's farms in Ramona. You can camp on people's farms and vista. So that's one cool place to go. But obviously I love the beach places. I also have booked Airbnbs in Idlewild , Julian and Palomar Mountain. If you can get a campsite in Palomar Mountain , okay , that would probably be one of my favorite places to camp.
S1:
S3:
S4: One , I like to surf , so if I can surf right out front , that's great. Kind of campground is a little noisy at night , so ideally you want to camp in like a van. I mean , I don't know , I tent camped there a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't terrible , but it's loud. You might need to bring earplugs depending on where your campsite is. Um , but for me , a great place to camp. Ideally , you can see stars. So if you can go to Palomar Mountain or somewhere a little bit inland , maybe the Laguna mountains. I love camping up in the Laguna mountains. Um , that's one of my favorite places ever. You can see stars at night and that. And it's quiet. That makes a great campsite. Ideally , if you can be near some body of water , that also is just a huge bonus. The last thing is I really like to make s'mores. So ideally you need to go to a place where you can build a campfire and then make those s'mores at the end of the night , because that is like food is a huge part of camping. And to me , s'mores are like the quintessential Experience of all camping adventures.
S1: You're not camping without s'mores for , you.
S4: Know , I like get really bummed if I can't make s'mores when I'm camping. Two graham crackers , chocolate and burnt marshmallows. There's really nothing better than that.
S1: I like the way you kind of have offered up a lot of different ideas and different dynamics in camping , because I think , you know , for a lot of people , when you think of a staycation , you know , some folks love camping and some people need , you know , definitely lean more towards the glamping side of it.
S4: You know , not everybody has ever. Not everybody enjoys just sleeping in a tent. I will say there are these new mattress pads that are incredible that make camping such another level. They make them really comfortable. So if you can invest in a good sleeping pad , do that. But yeah. Don't be afraid to book an Airbnb or a cabin. Or there are these glamping sites popping up all over. Even in Laguna mountains. There's a place you can go inside Laguna Laguna mountains and book these like glamping tents that are already totally decked out for you , and someone will even cook for you if you want.
S1: I just want to second your note there on the mattress pad. Having a great mattress pad really can help elevate the camping experience. So I second that , you know , a couple times now you've mentioned the ocean. You've mentioned how important it is to be near water , to really experience the outdoors and have , you know , this transformative experience out in nature. I'm wondering if you can share some thoughts on how to get on the water. For those that may not regularly do , it may not be , you know , a daily surfer like yourself , but to kind of , you know , find that growth. But looking at water sports and water activities and say , because there's a lot there's a lot more than just surfing too , right ? Yeah.
S4: One of my favorite places to go in all of San Diego is La Jolla Cove. It is one of the most biodiverse places in the country. Next. The next places that are the most biodiverse are all in Hawaii. So there's so many different populations of birds , of fish , of plants. It's incredible. You can start by just going to the cove and literally walking around it. Check out the seals. Learn the difference between a seal and a sea lion. There's signs that explain which is which , and you can even go into Sonny Jim's cave. You have to pay to get in , but it's super fun. It's this underground cave underneath the cove. It's been there for years. It's super fun and interesting , but I think that's a great way is just to walk on the water , be above it , put your toes in the sand. La Hoya Cove is , like , pretty magical. There's not a lot of places like that anywhere , and it's one of my favorite places in San Diego.
S1: Yeah , I'll definitely second that.
S3:
S4: There's so many great urban hikes in San Diego. Balboa Park is obviously the most obvious one. You can hike around Balboa Park , and I bet you could get 40,000 steps in. No problem. Go to every single museum. Go to a ton of coffee shops nearby , find a taco stand. You're going to get your steps in. You're going to get a lot of hiking. Go into the botanical gardens. There's so much to see just around that area. You could pick a city , drive to a city and just like , hike every single street. I think that's a really fun thing to do. You know , there's all these like , sauna , ice bath places opening up , and those are pretty fun. And they definitely are a pattern interrupter , meaning they get you out of your daily routine. They make your body feel physically different. They change your body chemistry. If you get into really extreme hot temperatures or really extreme cold temperatures , and they definitely are an adventure. So there's a place called breed degrees. There's one at Carlsbad. I think there's another one in San Diego. There's pure infrared sauna. There's a place in Encinitas called Clubhouse Encinitas. So those are really fun things to do as well. So urban hiking or maybe like a cold plunge , an ice bath , or you also have these incredible rock climbing gyms all over San Diego. That's like one way to have an adventure that isn't necessarily outside , but it'll help you build courage.
S1: A lot of great options there.
S4: Or you could do the glider port hike starting at Black's Beach , go all the way down to the water , and then afterward go check out the architecture at the Salk Institute. I think Cabrillo National Monument is one of San Diego's , like , most underused , amazing places out there. There's tide pools , there's history , there's views. There's so much right there. You can see traces of our navy and the action that they have right in the San Diego Bay right there. There's Cowles Mountain and potato chip rock. If you want to get an Instagram picture standing on the ledge of a very , very thin piece of rock , go to potato Chip Rock , which is also at Mount Woodson. There's a little waterfall hike at Los Pinocchio's Canyon , which is actually just kind of inland of Del Mar for the hardest hike in San Diego , there's something called El Cajon Mountain Trail. So obviously train for it. Or if you want something more mellow , you can just go to Cardiff and do the Santa Leo Lagoon Coastal Walk. Or for something that looks like you're straight in the middle of Utah and a slot canyon right in Solana Beach , there's a hike called Arnie's Canyon. It's amazing. It's only about a mile and a half to get through. Their kids can do it. Adults can do it afterwards. You can go get a coffee on at lofty coffee or somewhere fun like that. Or you could just go to Swami's and go walk into the meditation gardens for some incredible peace. It's so beautiful. Afterwards , you can get a coffee at Phil's Coffee or at guarana , or get a matcha or a golden milk there. And then if you want an urban hike. Balboa. Balboa Park has so many places to hike and explore. So I'd say San Diego is endless. And then at the end of every hike , I really like to reward myself with food. So in San Diego , the good thing is there's a lot of amazing coffee shops and a lot of places that serve incredible tacos. So find the best spot wherever you go afterwards and you will have an incredible day.
S1: So end your hike in San Diego with a coffee and some food and some tacos , I like it.
S4: Start your hike with coffee and it with fish tacos. Perfect. Pretty much anywhere. You're guaranteed to find both of those.
S1: Shelby Stanger is author of the book Will to wild and host of the Rei podcast Wild Ideas Worth Living. Shelby , thanks so much for all your great ideas here.
S4: Thanks for having me. Get outside.
S1: When we come back , we turn from staycations to vacations and learn some things to keep in mind when traveling with kids.
S5: Adjust your expectations a little bit if you're expecting. Everyone's going to be on their best behavior because it's vacation. It's probably not going to happen. I'm sure they will to some degree , but there's going to be moments.
S1: That's ahead on Midday Edition. Welcome back to KPBS midday Edition. I'm Andrew Bracken in for Jade Hyneman. Summer is upon us. And that means many of us might be packing our bags and getting ready for vacation. And for those of us with kids , younger kids especially , there can be a lot of things to consider when planning a trip. I'm joined by Jennifer Koehler. She's a child and family therapist and parent coach here in San Diego. Jennifer , welcome back to Midday Edition.
S5: Thank you so much. Happy to be here.
S1: Glad to have you.
S5: Okay. So kids have very big feelings and they can't always control their big feelings , and they don't always fit in their little bodies , although adults can have big feelings too. Um , that can be an issue. And behavior doesn't take a vacation. So it usually comes right along with you. And I think what happens is , you know , we spend a lot of money on vacations. Things are expensive. We all have have high hopes. We've taken the time off. And when behaviors happen on vacation , it can be really , really upsetting and frustrating for everyone.
S1: You know.
S5: One , that that point first is just adjust your expectations a little bit. If you're expecting everyone's going to be on their best behavior. Um , because it's vacation , it's probably not going to happen. I'm sure they will to some degree , but there's going to be moments because kids get hungry and they get tired , and transitions can be hard for them. And it's difficult sometimes to fall asleep in new place. So I would say just adjust your expectations a little bit and kind of be ready for that. And that'll help you not be quite so disappointed when the meltdowns happen , because they can still happen on vacation. So that would be the first thing I think. And the other would be try as much as possible to keep some of the routines in place , like bedtimes the same , meal times the same. That will help a lot to.
S1: The power of familiarity there. I get that as a parent. Yeah. Um , you know , obviously the age of the kid matters a lot here when approaching a trip. How should we think about that ? Uh , in choosing where we're going , and then not only where we go , but what we're going to do there. Right. Because I may not go to the Louvre if I'm with my toddler , necessarily. Right. Exactly.
S5: Exactly. Exactly. So I think the first thing is make sure that you're choosing activities and things that you can be doing that really are fairly age appropriate. If you have kids with a big age gap , then just be ready to divide and conquer a little bit. The older kids can go and do one thing while somebody else takes the younger child , and then you can kind of switch. Um , just try to be flexible a little bit. I think that makes a difference. And I think having some kind of schedule sometimes , like just take kids places and we tell them a little bit about where we're going , but we don't really tell them everything. So sometimes it's really helpful to show them pictures of where they're going , so it's familiar to them , you know. Picture of the room if you're in a room or if it's a campground. The campground. And just rehearse it and talk about it a little bit. Um , and then try to keep some structure to the day. So you're doing a couple of activities maybe , or maybe one big activity , and then have some downtime and some rest time in there because kids get overwhelmed.
S1: I love that. It's really great tips there.
S5: And other kids can do like one thing and then they're exhausted or cranky or tired. So I think the main pillars are making sure that everyone's eating regularly , because sometimes we either forget on vacation or we're like , oh , we're going to this restaurant soon , so let's not eat now , because then they're going to spoil their dinner. But hungry kids and tired kids and kids in the middle of transitions doesn't always go well together. So you need to be one of those parents. Honestly , that has a protein snack handy in your bag , in your backpack , in your purse. And it has to be a protein because protein really helps to support the central nervous system. So just having something you know , with a carb or even just a piece of fruit isn't enough. You have something with a protein. It'll make a huge , huge difference with behavior.
S1: So avoiding the hanger , I get that. I definitely don't. Yes. I mean another. To.
S5: To. Another.
S1: Another. Right. That's true. That's true. You know , another thing I'm thinking about here is , I don't know , when I take my kids on vacation , I might want to push them a little bit to explore a new place , a new culture , of course. But you're right. It's like a balance. I mean , just to take an example , we were in Japan , um , and we really had to balance it out between maybe going to like the Pokemon Cafe and , you know , a , um , a temple or a historic site. Right. And it was a really , you know , tricky balance. We didn't always get it right. But yeah. Yeah. I mean , talk to me about that and how how you work with parents , you know , to plan trips like that where you want to kind of give them a little vitamins there , I guess , of course.
S5: And you want them to explore the world. I mean , that's the best thing in the world for like , being a human and understanding other people. And just belonging is to travel and see different places in different cultures or even just different parts of the country. So I think that's really important. I think it's that balance , though , and but you can also divide and conquer. So work it out. If you're if there's two of you try to work it out. That one maybe gets to go to the temple , the other one stays and does something else , and then you switch and then the other one can go somewhere while the other parents sort of on duty. I mean , you're on this beautiful vacation. Obviously , a trip like Japan is a trip of a lifetime , so you don't want to go there and only see things that your kids are happy to see , and you want to push them a little bit , but see if you can divide and conquer both with the kids and also share duties with each other. It makes a huge difference.
S1: I'm also curious , you know , your thoughts on , you know , incorporating our kids in choosing where we're going to go for a trip.
S5: But here's the thing. Like , I feel kids need to make choices that kids should make. Like what to wear maybe , right ? Or they what they prefer in terms of , I don't know , a desert , but big things like vacations. If you if you involve them too much , then it gives them a little bit too much power. Right. And you're you're planning it. You're the adult. You know where you're going. You know what's best. I think it's best to give them perceived choice. So you might have two , two places. Let's say that you're thinking between and you can ask them for input. But just be really clear that it's an adult decision. And Mommy and daddy will be making this choice. But you're interested in what they have to say. If you give them too much choice a it's too much power , and then B if they don't end up going where they want , or if one kid got their first pick and the other one didn't.
S1: Another pretty common experience is , you know , those of us with with multiple kids is sibling arguments and sibling conflict.
S5: And again , keeping in mind that just because everyone's on vacation doesn't mean they're going to fight. Like they're still going to get cranky and they're going to get tired and they're going to get overwhelmed. Kids get kind of sensory overload. They also get bored and they will bug each other and they will start up with each other. And one of the things about siblings , we have a whole conversation about siblings is that they're actually practicing life with each other. So a certain amount of bickering and fighting is how they're figuring out how to be humans , how to be adult , right ? When to be heard , when not to be heard , when to let something go , how to share. And siblings spend more time with each other than they do with their parents. So just first of all , understanding that's a normal developmental thing. I mean , if it's too much , that's a problem , but there's always going to be a bit of that. And I think the best thing to do with that and this works everywhere , not just on vacation , is to talk about the concept of friendship moves and friendship blocks. So a friendship move is , hey , you know , do you want to share this with me or. That's a really nice picture. That was a funny joke. Something that's joining. Something that's encouraging a block is I did that already , and you're on my side. And that's. Why do you do that ? That's lame. That's a friendship block. And so if you have a conversation with them before you head out on your trip or your camping trip or your big trip , whatever it is , and just say , hey guys , I want to see as many friendship moves as we can see during this trip or in this on our car trip or whatever it is. So you don't have to use a whole bunch of language. Don't do that. It's not nice when you say this. It's just , hey , that's a block. Let's hear a couple of moves to undo that block. And it's just a simple , clean way without a ton of language and blabbing. Um , because we talk a lot sometimes to our kids , and they tune us out and then put them in the same boat. Have them work together. Don't have them compete with each other. Just say , hey guys , I want to see a lot of friendship moves while we're visiting this. Whatever. Or while we're in the car or on the train or whatever we happen to be. And then together , if they do a lot of friendship moves , then they can choose something later or they earn something later , but they've worked together. Don't put them against each other because one kid will always win , right ? So make sure they're a team , the two of them trying to create friendship moves.
S1: Friendship moves , I love that well and I'm just going through my head some of my favorite memories traveling with my kids.
S5: So we have lots of great memories , but we made them fabulous memories by dividing and conquering. So we went to Europe when our two oldest ones were teens , which is a whole different thing traveling with teens. teams. We can save a minute for that , but they were great and they could go to museums , and they did want to go see all these things. And my little one was like , I don't want to see any more rocks. And we're like , in the Acropolis , right ? So it happens. But we did a lot of divide and conquer. We just felt like it was important to split ourselves up. And you can even do that , you know , at the zoo or something. And instead of having the whole day be ruined or you're everyone's crying or mad or you're upset how expensive it was , and nobody's happy. Two people , you know , one person takes , two kids go off and do something. One takes one. You meet for a snack. You talk about what you saw , you switch kids , you go off , you come back for lunch. So you're , like , expanding and contracting. But I would say Europe was probably the most outstanding trip for us. We were very lucky to go there and we just made it work. Even with an eight year age gap , we just made it work.
S1: I mean , talk to me more about traveling with teens. I mean , you know , we hear about teenage emotions and the angst that come with it.
S5: Like got they got the arms crossed and they're , you know , a lot of us and our roles. And that can be really infuriating as a parent , when you spend all this money and you're supposed to be having fun and they look absolutely miserable. I think probably the best thing is a to adjust expectations. That really is a developmental stage in some ways , and sort of frontload with them before you go. They also need a little bit of time to to be alone and hang out. It's really a lot having , you know , hormones raging and thinking. Everybody's looking at you and worrying about how your hair looks and whether you have a zit. I mean , all those things are real for them , and they don't go away just because you're on vacation. Sometimes it can be even more intense , leaving lots of time for , you know , getting ready in the morning and making sure they're , you know , have time to get dressed before they go to dinner. They tend to get really stuck around , especially girls around transitional things. They do need some time to just be alone and have some quiet time. So respecting that and then try , try really hard not to pull them out of it. So much that actually can sometimes drive teens more into that kind of cranky space where you're like , come on , we're having fun. Aren't you having fun ? What about that ? And they're just more like , even if they want to have fun , they're like fighting it a little bit. Yeah. So just kind of like dart in and dart out. Try not to overreact too much. And what often happens is if you just relax a little bit and just don't make such a big deal out of it , they'll soften and start joining and then don't do this. Don't go , oh my God , look who decided to join us and be part of the family. Don't do that. Don't make it. They're going to go right back. Yeah , they're going to go right back in their sullen cave. Try to be really kind of relaxed and chill. Just bring it down a notch. It'll make a huge difference.
S1:
S5: Well , and part of it is knowing that as a parent , you don't really get to take a vacation. I mean , the ideal kind of vacation is if you're in a place where there's a kids club or there's activities for the kids to do , that's a dream. If you're able to do that , because then the kids are happy , there's people planning their activities , and you get to actually read a book or nap or something fabulous like that. Um , if you can't , then , you know , divide and conquer a little bit. If you're a single parent , that's really challenging. But , you know , if you're together , if you're a couple , then just take turns. Take turns. Somebody goes for a walk , somebody has a little nap , somebody reads a couple chapters of their book. Um , that can really help. And then trying not to do too much in a day if you try to do too much in a day , especially if you have kids that are that get overwhelmed and they're kind of have sensory issues , you're going to end up with meltdowns and you're going to end up being really resentful and angry. So maybe sometimes less is more.
S1: It's a lot of great advice and kind of the perfect time for it for a lot of families right now. Really appreciate your time. I've been speaking with Jennifer Collier. She's a child and family therapist and parent coach here in San Diego. Jennifer , thanks again for all your advice.
S5: Oh , you're so welcome. Happy vacations everybody.
S1: That's our show for today. I'm Andrew Bracken. KPBS Midday Edition airs on KPBS FM weekdays at noon , again at 8 p.m. you can find past episodes at KPBS or wherever you listen. Thanks again for listening. Have a great day.
