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Teen Review: ‘Vampires Suck’

Crude Humor Reigns in Spoof of ‘Twilight Saga’

Jenn Proske and Matt Lanter star in

Credit: 20th Century Fox

Above: Jenn Proske and Matt Lanter star in "Vampires Suck"

Anyone that has seen any of Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer’s parodies (“Scary Movie," “Epic Movie," “Disaster Movie") will instantly recognize their raucous sense of humor in every scene of their newest comedy, “Vampires Suck” (opening August 18 throughout San Diego).

A spoof on the vampire franchise, “Vampires Suck” focuses on the struggles of teenage girl “Becca” as she finds herself torn between two boys, both of whom happen to have supernatural powers —- all the while dealing with the angst associated with being a teen.

Having seen several of Friedberg and Seltzer’s previous films, I didn’t expect “Vampires Suck” to be too different from their past collaborations. New characters, new plot, same basic plan of attack. But sometimes a formula like theirs isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  The jokes they draw on throughout the film were nothing short of crude. It's a style of humor they relied heavily on in their past films and it still works it’s magic on their present audience. In a way, I would consider movies like this similar to slasher films —- nothing redeeming can be taken from them, yet we all find ourselves going to see them anyway. We don’t go to see them because we expect them to contain Oscar-worthy performances; we watch them because we love the idiotic humor that they promise us. In this respect, “Vampires Suck” delivers tremendously, providing its audience with numerous chances to laugh at some of the most inappropriate comments and situations imaginable.

Photo caption:

Photo credit: 20th Century Fox

Ken Jeong works his magic in "Vampires Suck"

To add to the film’s more redeeming aspects, actress Jenn Proske (“Becca”) offers a parody of actress Kirsten Stewart. Stewart is most popularly known for her role of Bella Swan in the “Twilight Saga.” Proske has fun capturing her eccentrically twitchy tendencies with commendable excellence, complete with avoidance of eye contact and constant lip biting. Another noteworthy performance is that of Ken Jeong (most popularly known for his role in “The Hangover”) as the vampire ringleader “Daro." Although he is not as entertaining as I expected him to be, his flamboyance caused him to stand out as one of the most comical characters in the feature.

Despite the film’s few positive points, the constant delivery of asinine remarks and brainless humor quickly grows wearing and are not nearly as amusing by the end of the film as they had been in the beginning. There is hardly a moment in the film where there isn't someone saying something moronic with a determinedly serious face while some overtly ridiculous event occurs in the background. Don’t get me wrong, it is incredibly funny at times, but after awhile the same variety of jokes begins to lose its touch. In addition, there are some cases where the humor presented by different characters appears to be almost forced, their comments coming out as if they're trying way too hard to make them seem funny. During moments such as these, the potential for laughter is lost in the character’s struggle to produce the desired affect.

Photo caption:

Photo credit: 20th Century Fox

Sucky vampires in "Vampires Suck"

“Vampires Suck” (rated PG-13 for crude sexual content, comic violence, language, and teen partying,) delivers exactly what it promises to: a film full of general raunchiness. But what could possibly be expected from a parody of the “Twilight” series? Or really any movie directed by Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer? I wouldn’t recommend seeing this film in theaters to anyone that isn’t either a die-hard fan of the Friedberg and Seltzer films or are in the mood to see a completely ridiculous movie that will guarantee them at least a few laughs. Don’t come to this movie expecting some great piece of cinema genius, because I can promise that you’ll be severely disappointed.

--Frances Anderson is a senior at Monte Vista High School in Spring Valley and have been in love with writing, reading, and watching weird movies for what seems like forever. She firmly believes that it is through things like film and writing that people can change the world, for better or worse. But until then, she says, "I'll continue using them for my own enjoyment."

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