Guide: setting parental controls on popular social media apps

Concerns over the impact of social media on the mental wellbeing of children of all ages has led to a push to change how these platforms work, and the rules around how kids use them.

California took action to increase safety for young people on social media by banning the use of algorithms on child accounts without parental approval and labelling them “addictive feeds.”

Though the law will not take full effect until 2027, it has the potential to transform how social media works for children. Proposed legislation at the federal level and in other states is taking similar approaches to limiting social media’s reach to kids.

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Playgrounds aren’t just outdoors anymore, and childhood is spent increasingly on screens, in digital spaces. ScreenTime features conversations, resources, and practical information to help parents navigate the challenges that come with parenting in the digital age.

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Outside of the United States, Australia recently passed among the most stringent social media laws in the world, barring children under the age of 16 from social media altogether.

While the ultimate outcome of many of these efforts remains to be seen, they make clear that social media in its current form is not working for families and change is needed.

“The most common question parents ask me is, ‘Is social media safe for my kids?’" said Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy in an advisory he issued last year. “The answer is that we don’t have enough evidence to say it’s safe, and in fact, there is growing evidence that social media use is associated with harm to young people’s mental health.”

While many welcomed Murthy’s advisory, others say the pendulum has swung too far from a lack of concern to leaders being overly concerned. But there is no disputing that social media platforms play a big role in the life of adolescents and that parents need to have some measure of control on how, when and where their children are on social media.

With all this in mind, the following is a rundown of the most common social media platforms and some of the parental controls and settings they offer.

YouTube

Regardless of whether you characterize it as social media or something more, YouTube has become the dominant tech platform for young people. According to Pew Research, 95% of teenagers in the U.S. have used YouTube. And to think it all started with a video filmed in San Diego back in 2005.

The video sharing site soon grew to become the top destination for watching videos on the internet. Chances are, your kids are more familiar with YouTube than national big three television networks NBC, ABC or CBS. On average, a child watches over 100 minutes of YouTube, and its cousin YouTube Kids, daily, according to Precise TV.

So, what do parents need to know about YouTube and their kids?

There are two main ways to set up your child on YouTube:

• "YouTube Kids," which is a simplified, more limited version of YouTube meant for children from 4 to 12 years of age  
• A “parent-supervised” account, which is a YouTube child account managed by a parent or guardian 

To start, you’ll need to have a Google account of your own and also create one for your child.

Another available setting is a timer that will shut off viewing once it is reached. Parents can also review what their child is watching.

Other parental settings

In addition to being able to select general content settings, parents also have control over the functionality of YouTube.

Under parent settings, parents can choose to disable "autoplay." Autoplay allows another video to automatically start once the previous video finishes, making it easier to continue viewing without any clicks or taps. Disabling autoplay removes some of the ease of use to watch more content.

NOTE: This autoplay setting does not change autoplay on YouTube Shorts.

Parents can also limit some of the information on YouTube by pausing watch history and search history. Specific YouTube channels and videos can also be blocked for the child account.

For YouTube break and bedtime reminders, go to Settings > General.

For more resources, visit YouTube's specific family options.

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Snapchat

Known for its creative camera filters and easy-to-share messaging features, Snapchat remains one of the top social networks for young people today. The self-described “camera” company is known for its disappearing messages, allowing its users to select how many seconds a message can be viewed.

The nature of the platform has contributed to advocates raising concerns over the safety of younger users. Snap, the parent company of Snapchat, also is facing a lawsuit arguing the platform’s design contributed to the deaths of young people who purchased drugs and other illicit material through the platform.

Snapchat remains a popular way for teenagers to connect online and bridge to the online world. Parents have the ability to adjust options and what level of connectivity and sharing their children have on Snapchat through its "Family Center."

One popular feature in Snapchat is "Snap Maps," which allows you to see where your friends are and have been. It can be a useful tool to bride the digital and physical social world, but parents may want to prevent young people from revealing too much of their real world comings and goings. For that, there is "Ghost Mode," which eliminates sharing of your child’s location on Snapchat.

To turn off location sharing in Snap Maps, go to Settings and enable Ghost Mode.

Learn more at Snapchat's Family Center.

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TikTok

When it was released in the U.S. in 2018, the social network TikTok changed the face of online video online, ushering in a new era of of short, fun, music-driven videos meant to be to be shared and remixed. It is now the second most popular social network for U.S. teens.

Despite its popularity, the future of the platform is in doubt, at least in the United States. The platform is facing ongoing uncertainty of a nationwide ban due to national security concerns over its Chinese owner, Bytedance.

Unless a ban does indeed take hold, millions will continue to watch, scroll, dance and create on one of the world’s most vibrant social networks.

Like other social networks, TikTok has added protections for young peoples accounts, as concerns over mental health harms and harmful content exposure increased in recent years.

Once Family Pairing is set up, go to Settings and privacy > "Screen time" to set Screen time rules for your child.

Content preferences

TikTok also offers a more robust setting to limit inappropriate content called "Restricted Mode." This setting is meant to limit mature content, as well as removes many of the platform’s “live” features, as well as visibility of who the account follows.

TikTok also provides a few different modes to choose from:

For more, visit TikTok's Guardian's Guide.

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Instagram

Instagram has come a long way from its infancy of food shots and photo filtering. It’s hugely popular among a wide range of age groups, with young people in particular using the platform to share and connect with their friends.

Instagram, which is owned by Facebook’s parent company Meta, uses a feature called "Family Center" for parents to manage teen accounts.

From a teen account, you can connect with a parent account and view more settings by going to "Teen safety settings."

Once accepted, parents have access to set screen time limits, can add break reminders, and get insights into their teen’s Instagram usage.

In the fall of 2024, Meta announced new rules for "Teen Accounts" on Instagram. Teen accounts now default to being private by default and require parental approval to be changed to being public.

The new rules provide overall stricter content rules by default, as well as protections to limit time spent on the app and exposure to online harms while on it.

Teen accounts on Instagram also have stricter rules to who they can send and receive messages from along with stricter content filter settings. Notifications are also muted for teen accounts between the hours of 10 p.m. and 7a.m.

To review account privacy settings, go to Settings > Account privacy > Select between Private or Public.

Parents can continue to manage and update their child’s Instagram account by going to Settings > Supervision.

For more, visit Instagram's Parental Guide.

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Discord

Discord is a popular way for people to connect based on their interests. It started as a way for gamers to chat while playing online video games, but has grown to include countless other shared interests. People can connect with each other in specific “servers,” which may sound technical but really just means a community space. People can chat using text, voice, even video.

Like many social platforms, Discord manages parental controls through what it calls "Family Center." Parents will need to create their own account and then connect with their child’s account.

Note: Parents can only see certain aspects of their child’s activity such as what servers they join, new friends they have made, and who they have messaged. Parents are not able to see the actual messages in Discord.

In addition to Discord’s Family Center, there are other options that parents may want to review with their teen. They include:

Privacy and safety

Discord’s privacy and safety settings are found by going to Settings > Privacy & Safety.

Here parents can review default settings for how the app will handle sensitive content, with options to blur or block it.

You can add spam filtering for direct messages (DMs). Here's the following options:

• Do not filter direct messages
• Filter direct messages from non-friends (default)
• Do not filter direct messages 

You can also choose whether to allow direct messages from non-friends who are a part of a server you or your teen are using, as well as to allow message requests from server members you don’t know.

Friend requests

This is a pretty common setting in social media platforms and allows you to choose who can send a friend request to the account.

For more resources, visit Discord's Family Center.

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Facebook’s Messenger Kids

Messenger Kids is Facebook’s kid-centric messaging app designed to give parents control over their children’s experience on the platform. Like parental controls on many other platforms, the starting point for getting a child on Messenger Kids is for the parent to have a Facebook account set up already.

It’s important to note that creating a Messenger Kids account for your child is not the same as creating a Facebook account. It allows your child to chat and communicate with only people approved by their parents. Also, parents are given much greater insight into what their child is doing in the app compared to platforms for older children. Still, there are settings that parents can adjust in Messenger Kids.

Parents can find the parent dashboard to manage their child’s Messenger Kids account via their Facebook account.

There are also privacy controls that can be updated in Messenger Kids app directly, though they are more limited and accessible to the child.

For more information, check out more parent resources for Messenger Kids.

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