My First Day Episode 9

This is KPBS Midday Edition. I am Maureen Cavanaugh. KPBS is creating new stories you want to listen to, stories that originate right here in San Diego. After experiencing the disappointment of not getting to medical school in Brazil, she found herself lost. Like I lot of 19-year-olds, she did not know what she should do or where her life would take her. She was searching for an adventure when she flew to San Diego to study English in 1999. Here is an excerpt of her story from the podcast, "My First Day" produced and hosted by Andrew Brackett.In high school, I was premed. I wanted to go to medical school. In Brazil, you go to medical school or law school or whatever straight out of high school. I think that I did not take school seriously as I should have. I had good grades without trying that hard. I thought I am just going to study extra and I will get in and I did not get in. It was the first real failure that I experienced because you know, I don't know. I think I believed I was going to get in.After not getting to med school, she attended a different University and studied advertising. She realized it was not for her and felt lost. That is when the idea to come to SANDAG was started brewing in her head.My stepmothers daughter was in town. I was sharing with her. She said, you should just come over. You know, it wasn't something at everybody at home was excited about at first. I'm the first person really the only person in my family to graduate from college. For my dad who started college but did not finish, it was very important to him. He wanted me to graduate with college. He was not stoked when I said I was going to be bop around the world a little bit. I had to prove that I was on the right path. It was important to actually do something that would advance my life. I thought that learning English and being fluent in English, even if I just had that, I could go home and make something out of that. I said, I am going to spend a year and I think I will be fluent after that time and I will come back home and figure it out.During her first semester studying English, some friends suggested she check out community colleges and go to school with native speakers. So what started out as a one your adventure turned into something more. It led her to college and eventually while school.I feel like once I went to community college, that is when I started really speaking English. I was dreaming in English and in my first year, I started dreaming in English. What was that? Was I thinking in English or Portuguese? I do not dream and pork and cheese anymore. It is very rare.Do you remember the first time you draped in English ?I do not remember but I remember it being around that time. The reason why I knew it was dramatic was that it was my dad speaking with me in English instead of Portuguese. I would say what? And then, it was after I took those college classes and I came home with a 4.0 GPA and I told my dad, I really want to do this and I think I can do it. I did go to school and I got good grades I worked hard. At that point, I needed his help if I was going to be able to stay here. He totally got behind me. Without my dad, I would've not been able to do it. My dad at that point was in his 50s. He did not have that. I think he thought I was taking such a huge risk and I was going to put all this money into this and come home with nothing to show for. I think that his not getting behind me right away was a protective, you know, feature of parenthood or parenting them not wanting me to succeed. He did not want me to fail. I think that when I came back and I showed him that I am succeeding. I can do this. I am going to work hard and we had that conversation. I think at that point, he was totally behind me. He is my biggest fan. He is so proud of me. I think he is really stoked that he believed at that point because then I was free to put the work in and transform my life, really.As Victoria settled into her life as a student, life was not without challenges, especially when it came to making friends.That was something else that first come I thought, am I ever going to make a friend here. You know? At first, I just really hung out with Brazilians or foreigners because I thought it was really hard to break through. I think when you have an accent, it might be human nature. I do not know but I feel myself resisting people that I have aThey have a hard time speaking English that I can communicate. When you have a hard time communicating in a language, people 10 to have a hard time letting you in. I so, I think it was part and parcel with becoming more capable to communicate in English that I became more capable of making connections, real connections with English-speaking people. When you go somewhere and it is for real, you are going to stay there, you made a life for yourself. You have been there for a long time. You are still a foreigner. There is nowhere that I go that people do not ask me where I am from. I cannot talk to them for a minute before I get that question still. I am reminded every day I am not from here but when I go home, guess what happens at home, I get a question almost every time where I am from. I do not fit in anymore because of the way I sound or you know, the clothing that I wear. I just became less Brazilian.20 years has gone by since Victoria stepped off the plane in San Diego. Now, working as a public defender, she has come a long way and she is reminded of that when her dad first visited San Diego last year.He noticed things that I forgot that they were novel. I mean, there is no crows in Brazil. Here, they are everywhere and they are jumping around and making noise and my dad, I kid you not. His fascination for the crow, it reminded me of being there in his shoes and what is this weird bird that sounds like a dog? [ laughter ] It is huge. What is this? You know? It has been a long way here. It is cool to revisit it because[ laughter ] I think if you had told that girl that got on the plane in 1999 that you would fast-forward almost 20 years and she would be a public defender in San Diego, it is laughable. Right? It is not just -- you look at it and no. There is no way. But what a trip it has been. You know, I think of that first day and that is always going to be my jumping board in a sense to this new life that I am living.You heard Victoria Barrana speaking on the pad cast , "My First Day". My -- "My First Day" is hosted by Andrew. You can go to www.kpbs.org to listen to more.