S1: It's time for KPBS Midday Edition. On today's show , a panel of local therapists join us to talk about coping with the politics of today. I'm Jade Hindman with conversations that keep you informed , inspired , and make you think. From immigration raids to rollbacks on civil rights. San Diego therapist I spoke with say the political environment is causing many of their patients trauma.
S2: A therapist cannot ignore what's happening in the moment now. Whatever they're feeling , the most stress about is the thing that's influencing them the most.
S1: They'll share ways to cope with that stress. That's ahead on midday Edition. Around three and four U.S. adults say the future of our nation is a significant source of stress in their lives. Many are troubled by the onslaught of federal policies , from immigration raids to anti civil rights legislation. Constant headlines of war and violence only add to the stress. Emotions like fear , anxiety and shame are not new to therapists , but how is this political moment influencing what happens on the therapy couch ? I'm here with a panel of local therapists to talk about that. David Peters , a licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Mission Valley , is here. David , welcome.
S2: Thanks to Be Here. Jade.
S1: Also , Mitzi Ruelas , associate marriage and family therapist with a real family counseling center. Mitzi , welcome to you. Hi.
S3: Hi. Thank you for having me.
S1: Also , Alexis Smith , licensed professional clinical counselor with Queer Corner Counseling. Alexis , welcome.
S4: Happy to be here.
S1: Happy to have you all here with us. Um , David , I'm going to start with you.
S2: And I have a few clients who have come in specifically because they're overwhelmed , but many are. They meant to come in because of their anxiety or their depression or their marriage issues , something conventional. And then at the beginning of the session , they say , well , I was going to talk about , you know , my family again , but did you see the news ? And then they're they're showing signs of trauma. They're hurting , they're angry , they're confused. And I can tell I can kind of read posture and read their voice. And sometimes I say , okay , we're going to spend a session on this because now their need is changed. And whatever their issue is , whether it's work , performance or family issues , they're not going to be at their best if they're constantly in a state of trauma and a lot of people because they're watching a lot of news or they're in the social media realm , a lot are constantly exposed to this stuff , and a lot of people have challenges within their own family or their circle of friends or the people that they're accustomed to going to church or temple with. Like , how can they believe this ? How can they think this way ? And some take it very personally. They're they're hurting personally. They feel personally threatened. And then it really matters a lot. You know , a therapist cannot ignore what's happening in the moment. Now , whatever they're feeling the most stress about is the thing that's influencing them the most. And sometimes it ties back to very old issues from childhood or something like that. It really triggers old traumas that they thought they got over with. But sometimes it's it's a brand new thing. Wow.
S1: Wow.
S4: Um , I'm seeing a lot of just general heaviness , um , people coming in , and as soon as they click in , I do virtual. So every time someone clicks in , I can just see in their body language that they're just holding a heaviness , usually like in the shoulders somewhere in that area. Um , a lot of helplessness of not really knowing exactly what they're supposed to do , but knowing very deeply that they want to do something. Um , and then I think that really gets followed by a lot of guilt and shame over not knowing enough , not knowing what to do. And also guilt and shame over privilege. Kind of like someone's position allowing them to maybe detach a little bit more , or to turn the phone off , turn off the TV. But realizing at the same time that so many other people aren't able to do that. Hmm.
S1: Hmm. Mitzi.
S3: A lot of clients come in for situation outside of this political state , and now there's almost this conversation like , is it still okay if I talk about this thing that I came registered or like signed up to talk about ? Because now I kind of want to talk about this. So one of the things that I'm noticing is making space for yeah , we can talk about either one of them , but also making space for their guilt or shame to still want to talk about their own personal stuff , too , while being aware that there's a larger , um , issue to talk about as well.
S1: It's interesting because what I hear from all of you is that whether you're personally Experiencing what you see happening on the news. Just simply seeing it happen and hearing about it happen is causing some level of trauma. And I think that when a lot of people hear trauma , they think that it only happens to people who are actually experiencing it.
S2: But there's also what I call the slow , creeping trauma , which people don't pay enough attention to. If every day I hear anger , if every day I hear stress , if every day I hear the report on something threatening me or threatening my community , that I'm living in a high stress environment , and I'm exposed way too often to the visual and the audio of it. So a lot of it , we're seeing live videos of things that are horrifying. And over time , even though it didn't happen to me. My nervous system is responding to that , so I've got a shorter attention span. My nervous system is not working the same way. I'm not digesting the same way.
S1:
S3: Yeah , definitely. And I would say that it's amplified by social media as well. And like our access to social media. Social media is such a great tool to be aware of what's going on in like the news and in the world. But there's this overconsumption that's happening , and I find that a lot of clients feel , um , guilty if they're not consuming this content and have a difficult time setting boundaries around how much to consume. And so not only are they having conversations about what's going on with their families or at work , depending on what they do for work , but they're also consuming it constantly through social media. So I find that a lot of clients , their nervous system is constantly heightened and they have a hard time kind of coming back to regulation , which I think therapy becomes a really great space for their nervous systems to be like , okay , this is at least 50 minutes where you can be calm , 50 minutes where we can reach regulation and talk about these things as well.
S1:
S4: I think it's very reminiscent , at least with the people that I serve. I serve black and brown queer folks predominantly. Um , it's very reminiscent of 2020 Black Lives Matter. Um , George Floyd. And it's just like Mitzi saying , we're just so accessible all the time. You never really get the opportunity to , like , put it down. If you put your phone down , then you go in the car , you listen to the radio and then it's on the radio. If you're not listening to the radio , you go to a coffee shop and someone in the coffee shop is talking about it , right ? It's it's just omnipresent.
S1: And that brings me to my next question , which is about identity.
S4: I think there's , you know , so many intersections when it comes to identity , especially with the people that I work with. If they're not black and brown , then they are queer or part of the LGBTQ Iowa's plus population. They could be maybe not even a person of color. It just they can be a college student. They can be a parent. It's just so many facets of someone's identity. And I think with how much we're seeing in social media , how much we're seeing in the media , you're always seeing something happening to someone who likely looks like you. So it's just it feels like it's directly affecting you to Mitty.
S1:
S3: The majority of the clients that I work with are Latina Latinx clients , um , majority of women. So a lot of my clients are concerned for their families , concerned for their friends. Um , I also have the privilege of working with a lot of activists , too , or people that work in non-profits. And so their jobs are constantly being impacted. So identity , like the different intersecting identities , definitely has an impact on how they're experiencing the world and how they're experiencing looking at the news , but then also their identity at whatever their career is or the culture of the career that they have is also being impacted as well.
S1: How do you see your role as a therapist when navigating political discourse , and has that changed at all at all ? David.
S2: Well , my my practice is very diverse in terms of age , gender , identification of religion or politics and gender identities. So it's always unpredictable. Sometimes someone's coming into the office with and I don't know them very well , and they're coming in with their bitterness or their anger and their , uh , strong emotions. And they say , can you believe what happened ? I'm like , oh , yeah , I saw it was very shocking. And I'm being quite neutral because I don't know how they feel about it. You know ? I don't know what which direction they're upset is. Uh , and I have to be very cautious about my feelings about it because it's about their feelings , not mine. And sometimes I'm working with someone who's in a political persuasion very different from my own. And it's my responsibility to be the therapist. Uh , they're just as scared. They're just as is victimized by humiliations and shaming. They're just as confused as anybody else. But. So I want to find out where they're at and how they're experiencing this.
S1:
S4: I think Mitzi and David would probably agree. In grad school , they teach you not to talk about politics , to not really self disclose. Um , but that does not work with my population at all. Um , black and brown folks want to know how you really feel about something , and they can tell when you're trying to be maybe too politically correct. They can tell when you are trying to be too far removed from it. So I just show up as a whole person. If I'm asked directly , what do you think about this ? This really bothers me. I answer honestly.
S1:
S3: Like , I signed up for this job because I believe therapy's political. Like the like. This is my way of doing my advocacy work. This is my way of being. As an agent of social change. You know , as we become therapists , part of our ethical duty is to foster autonomy. To foster respect. Giving that sense of being seen to people that have often been unseen. Right. Marginalized folks. And so I think our job , in a sense , is to , um , bring awareness to how humanity issues political issues impact mental health and impact mental health by a significant majority. Certain groups more than others. And so I think having conversations about politics goes hand in hand with conversations about mental health , conversations about therapy. And yeah , I think it's kind of wrapped up in the work that we do.
S2: Yeah , you can't escape it. You do have to meet it. And the key is know your role. Know your your therapeutic milieu. The place in which you are working. There are lots of therapists who specialize in one area or two areas or certain populations. And then it's it's marketed that way and it's essential that , you know , you come up with the goods. You the client knows what they're wanting and you're there for them completely. You can't hold back and have the the cool , distant therapist voice when what they're feeling is so urgent and so outrageous. There are times where I know a client well enough , and they know me well enough that yeah , for me to be the cool , calm therapist would be absurd. You know , they say , can you believe it ? I said it was very hard to believe. I woke up feeling shocked. Like you. Yeah , like that was nuts , right ? You got to be real with yourself. And yet at the same time , it's important not to make an assumption that because someone comes from this persuasion , that they believe that I might think I know what they want , but I have to think about what's most healthy for them , what's my role ? And after we become known to one another in the I thou relationship , then to some degree I can identify with whoever they are. You know , I work with people whose politics is not mine , and I have to be there for them. And it's in the same way they're feeling pain. Uh , but you develop this peculiar and actually healthy predicament of. They know that I'm not saying I'm not agreeing with what they're claiming , but with a sense of humor. I can say , wow , isn't this weird ? You know , and we can have a laugh about it. You got to be authentic first. Um. And.
S3: I think conversations about politics in the therapy room are similar to the way that we use self-disclosure in the space , too. While it is bringing part of ourselves into the space , it centers always to client and whatever is beneficial to the client. And so , although I may have certain perspective , political perspectives , or opinions that may resonate , I'm not bringing them into just because I feel like talking about this crazy thing that happened in the news. Right ? And so just how we use self-disclosure for the relationship and only when it benefits the clients conversations like this is when the clients want to have these conversations , when the clients want to explore. And so I think it's really important that although we are having conversations about this , that it's emphasized , I think we could all agree that the clients at the center of these Conversations.
S1:
S2: To ask them about , you know , well , how about how's your family feel about that ? You mentioned that you had an argument with your dad or your mom or something like that. Um , and sometimes I can point in a direction. I can say , well , your mom must be very scared like you are , even though you're in disagreement , you know , and if they react hotly to that , like , okay , well , not not time for that yet , but they may say , well , I can see it. So yeah , it's important to know that sometimes I'm literally coaching them on how to manage the differences. And I teach what I call compassion practice , which is in high conflict situations. If you hold compassion at all times , and I define it as respecting a lot , caring a lot , and forgiving a lot , and I literally give a 30 minute talk on the whole thing , but it's I teach them , what's the rule of compassion on this ? They say , okay , I've got to hold respect for , but I can't forgive her. She's out of her mind. And she said horrible things. I said , okay , let's look at that part. You know , you're you're hurting and it's hard to forgive when you hurt this bad. Now it's literally psycho education , but it's also helping them learn , okay , if you're going to be in the political fight , if you're only fighting. The question is , are you doing any good for anybody ? You know , the lessons of Doctor Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi , those are those are psychological lessons to , you know , on how to approach political change.
S1: Coming up after the break , we continue talking with local therapists about how politics shows up in their practice. Stay with us. Welcome back to KPBS midday Edition. I'm Jade Hindman. Politics are a significant source of stress and anxiety for many Americans. For those working with the therapists , talking politics can feel awkward , but in many cases , essential. This hour , we're sitting down with a panel of local therapists to hear how this political moment is changing their work. I'm speaking with David Peters , licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Mission Valley. Also , Mitzi Ruelas , associate marriage and family therapist with a Real family counseling center. And Alexis Smith , licensed professional clinical counselor with Queer Corner Counseling. Mitzi , you're working with clients that are telling you they're feeling scared for the future and even the present.
S3: I find that oftentimes clients can identify these feelings , such as thoughts , these emotions , but have a difficult time feeling and processing the emotion. And so oftentimes with clients when they come in and they're very activated due to this we will incorporate a lot of somatic experiencing , for example , which is really being able to attach sensations to these emotions that they're having. So they're able to process that. Depending on the client needs , sometimes that may require drawing or coloring this emotion or coloring the sensation. Sometimes it's body movement. I've had clients that will start throwing things at the wall very safely , you know , like maybe like squishes or something like that so they could release some of the energy. Um , we often use storytelling is really important , I think , in trauma work and really listening to the language that they use , the story that they're saying and how there may be space for authoring that story as well. So those are kind of an attachment. Attachment. Exploring attachment is really important when we have conversations about politics as well. I find that a lot of clients feel betrayed by their government. They feel betrayed by their community as well. And that's also something to to explore too.
S1:
S4: Um , first , supporting them to talk openly and honestly about what it is they're feeling. And I do think a lot of us are so disconnected from what we're thinking and what we're feeling , and helping clients to first recognize those sensations similar to David , those sensations in the body , and put a name to them and allow them to be in the room , I think is so important because so many of the people that I work with , especially right now , they want to compartmentalize , they want to erase it , they want to get rid of it. They don't want to hold it. And I think most of all , I'm supporting people to just allow the feeling to be in the room. Yeah.
S1: Yeah.
S2: You're not overreacting. So then it's it's , you know , how do I modulate this emotion ? Um , and sometimes they really need to learn how to vent it , to put words to it , to put raw words to it. Um , and then it's learning how to. Okay , can I express it and then not express it , you know , what's it like when I don't , you know , or when do I when is it best to to compartmentalize sometimes with serious trauma work and it would be applicable to this also I say , you know , we're talking about this here , but you don't have to go home and talk about it all the time. You can put it in a little box. Put it on the shelf and we'll bring it up again next time you're here. But it's okay to take a break from talking about it. And. Well , what do I do ? I say , well , when the thoughts are coming back to you , when you're feeling that again , what would you like to do ? You know , go out in the vegetable garden if you've got that , or go bicycling or call up a friend and go to a movie. You need to indulge in things that will help you take care of your heart and your soul and your mind. I tell people , experience beauty. Be focused on okay , these are tragic times for you right now. It's serious. You need first aid. So exposing yourself to beauty is really , really important. It might be your favorite music. It might be watching a beautiful scene from , you know , we're in San Diego. You can go up to Torrey Pines and look out over the water. I tell people , you know , do you like hiking ? Go out and go hiking. Um , whatever it is that will help them. Sometimes they're stuck on social media , he said. Well , don't look at any news. Just look for puppy dog videos , you know , make yourself laugh. It's one of my personal favorites. Before bed kitty cat videos , my wife will be laughing at home when she hears that , but , uh , yeah , whatever can make us laugh. You know , for those who remember comedy shows from the past , you know , watch old reruns and get a laugh of that again , it's in a different time , a different space. It's an escape from this moment. It's okay to escape from this moment. It's not a betrayal. And people need to learn that it's okay to take a break. You can't fight in the front lines in a political battle forever. You fall back. You let somebody else do the war for a while. Sometimes I'll advice take a 30 day break. Don't look at politics. Don't talk about politics. Don't be active. Take 30 days to heal and you're going to get back in. And don't worry , there's other people right there doing the doing the work. But you're no good if you're frazzled , if you're if you're unable to speak normally , if you're unable to tolerate an opposition without falling apart. You're not good in your cause.
S3: I think another part to add on is that during this work is really important to empower clients. Oftentimes , clients feel very hopeless , very helpless or disempowered. You know , that's kind of the intention of what's going on. And so oftentimes is finding ways , even small ways where clients can find a way of control , a way of contributing. I think oftentimes there's this , um , you know , what's the word that I'm looking for ? Like going to a protest is a great way to participate in activism , but there's also different ways to participate in activism that we can all kind of cover , right ? So even if it's like hosting things for your friends or doing something collective or donating , donating your time or donating food , I think it's really important to us. We're telling clients to take away , and maybe they feel some resistance , to take a break , to speak to how rest is part of the resistance as well. Right ? Um , to find ways that don't that match their capacity of how much they could be involved in that , that's still significant in contributing to their their goals or contributing to their cause.
S5: I guess I would love to add some more to that.
S4: Um , I have so many clients who are so hungry to do. Mhm. Um , and touching on kind of what both of you have said , there's , there's a benefit to supporting people to figure out their way of boosting their internal locus of control. Right. The things that they have control over , especially when it comes to how do I activists , how do I be involved and politically active and find the way that works for me ? It makes me think of the Montgomery bus boycott and people who are working to integrate public spaces. Yes , there were the people at the counters sitting and getting spat on and pushed and punched. But there were people who were making pamphlets. There were people who were making meals that were driving people to work. And there are so many different positions that you can take in the movement , and they're all equally valid and just supporting folks to really process the shame and the the guilt that they feel if they can't do the protest. Because so many of my clients being black and brown , it's it's not safe to be out in the streets protesting right now and just letting that be valid , letting that just be what the truth is for each of them.
S1: Well , I wanted to ask you all too , about , you know , striking a balance here because there's there are people who , uh , are experiencing trauma from watching the news and can take a step away from it and go do something else. Right. And then there are people who are living with and sitting in the impact of what is happening , um , today , whether it's , you know , a new policy that's come down , a funding cut here or there. I mean , they're dealing and living with that impact. Um , how do you strike a balance there for folks who are living with , uh , the impact of these things and then being able to step away and find joy.
S2: It requires a lot of humility. It is much easier to recommend things when you're not in immediate pain yourself. And you have to have a lot of humility. And that's the basic still of psychotherapy , isn't it ? That you don't know what the client's going through , what their world is really like. You may think you know , but there's so much background in there that you have not witnessed in their upbringing and in their parents upbringing and their grandparents experience of life that's influencing them that you have no access to. Um , and so , yeah , you can point to things you could do and then some , some people say , I can't do that , I can't do that. And you have to be able to teach them self-acceptance. Yeah. You know your role is going to be different here. You know , and that's okay. That's okay. Not everybody's going to do the same thing. Yeah.
S5: Yeah. I think the key is with balance.
S4: And finding the balance is honoring capacity. If you have no awareness of what your capacity is , if you're someone that's just constantly pouring on more and pouring on more , you will become overwhelmed. You will become burnt out. And so a huge part of what I do , and I'm sure what each of you do is , is teaching people to just recognize capacity , whether that's what are the the bodily cues that are trying to tell you that you're reaching your threshold , or maybe that you do have a little bit of extra space. Mhm.
S5: Mhm. Yeah.
S3: Yeah. Sometimes it's really looking at like going forgetting the meditation and the journaling all this and going like how are we sleeping. Are we eating. Are we moving our body. Um , going back to these basic ways of survival. Because when clients or individuals are in the middle of the I have in the middle of the impact. It's really hard to tell them to take a break or be hopeful , right ? Like at this moment it's like , okay , this is a season where you're go , go , go. And you know , at this point , what we need is like for you to take care of your body holistically , make sure that you're drinking some water , make sure that maybe once in a while you , like , bust a move and dance a little bit. Make sure that you reconnect with somebody , have a cup of coffee and after that , like keep going at it. And sometimes that's the therapist. That's our role too , to be their cheerleader when they are going through the roughest patch of their journey , too.
S2: I also have some patient or some clients who are parents of young children , and they say , I don't have time to do this or this or this , but I feel terrible. I'm just I'm just at home working hard. And I say , do not underestimate your role. You get to teach your child values. You get to prepare your children for the world coming ahead. Someone has to. And frankly , I'd rather you be raising your kids than somebody else raising your kids because you know what you want them to be doing in the future. So you be thinking you're not in the front line fighting , you're preparing for the rebuild. And that can give great meaning to someone who doesn't have the ability to do things that require great , uh , you know , fearlessness.
S1: Well , after the break , the power of joy and resilience in the face of uncertainty. Stay with us. Welcome back to KPBS midday Edition. I'm Jade Hindman. Right now , I'm speaking with a panel of local therapists to hear how national politics are shaping their work. I'm joined by Mitzi Ruelas , associate marriage and family therapist with Che , a Hall family counseling center. Alexis Smith , licensed professional clinical counselor with Queer Corner Counseling. And David Peters , licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Mission Valley. Alexis. So we often hear about the importance of self-care.
S4: Earlier in my career , self-care was a bunch of different strategies and , you know , taking care of yourself. And I feel like it's really evolved into something pretty basic , um , which is how are you honoring yourself ? That's it. Um , if it's that your body is asking you to rest right now , if it's that your body is saying that I'm hungry , if your body is holding tension , it's honoring your body's ask in the present moment , no matter where you are or what you're doing. Mhm.
S1: It's like not part of the culture though right.
S4: Absolutely not. We are not taught how to do that at all.
S1: In fact I think some people don't feel feel safe to even do that. Yeah. Um for many people it was like your , your , your constant hustle and work is rooted in your survival.
S3: Their whole life is going to fall apart and it's terrifying. Even going on a walk. Like they just feel like everything's going to fall apart. And so I think the way that I think of self-care now is more like , what are the ways that you come home to self , right ? What are the moments where you feel most like yourself and more comfortable ? And it could be something really Pinterest cutesy. And it could also be something that your family has taught you for generations too , that maybe doesn't look that like appealing or that cool. But if it helps you come home to self and feel safe into your body , that's self-care. Even if it's eating a bowl of pasta like whatever it is that that you need. Self-care can look really different for everybody.
S1:
S2:
S1: I do too.
S2: I think that's great. That's where it's fun for me with my Italian , but we were caught up in a society that wants to perfect everything and perfect yourself , which makes everybody feel bad because we know secretly , oh , God , I'm not perfect , you know ? And being able it's part of self-compassion is to say , all right , it's okay that I'm not perfect. Nobody else is either. I don't smell any worse than anybody else does in the room and be able to have a laugh. You know , comedy is really , really essential in this time. And anything that will allow you to laugh , be it with friends or family or with your cat , you know , it's it's all worth it. It's an essential part of living in a difficult time to take care of yourself on that deep level with play.
S3: If I can add the thing is , uh , although it's new in the way we were seeing this , this isn't new. Exactly.
S2: Exactly.
S3: The the oppression and the all of these things that are happening. This isn't anything new that people who are being impacted haven't been dealing with for generations. And so sometimes part of the work that we do is reminding clients that they already know how to survive this , that their generations have been surviving this and that. It's not so much about me teaching them this like , new tool. But how do we look back at what you have already been doing , what your family has been doing , what your lineage has been doing in times like this ? Because that's what is going to help us move forward. And most of the time it's going to be centered around joy , fun , community and laughter.
S1:
S3: I think therapy is such a beautiful tool because it's about relationships. It's about my relationship with clients. And that in itself is helping. Fostering community. Right ? Not only are they benefiting from it , but so am I. Like , I'm also part of what's going on and being impacted by what's going on and also helping them foster their other relationships as well. Right. If I help my clients come home to themselves , then they're able to hold space for those around them as well. So it's kind of like a ripple effect the way that I see it. Um , and also trusting that I have colleagues that are doing the same work and we're all just kind of planting seeds , and then we're also watering those seeds as well. So one of the things that why I love therapy so much , and even in this time our field , there has been so many of us coming together , providing different resources and different supports , not only to our clients but also to ourselves. And that has been what community has looked like a lot for in our field.
S1: Um , Alexis , you know , like and yet therapy is not always accessible for many of those who need it can , especially when there are people who are actually facing losing health care in many ways.
S4: It's it's a very expensive resource. A lot of the time , if you want to find a therapist of color , a therapist who aligns with you politically and culturally and across the board , usually that therapist is maybe in private practice , which doesn't usually accept insurance. And so it's it's just very unfortunate.
S1:
S2: And there are certain populations that are underinsured or without insurance and they can't afford. And that's where I truly believe it's the role of therapists and private practice to reserve some spaces for those without. So at any given time , I have 1 or 2 clients that are paying me next to nothing , and sometimes it's the most important work I have in terms of fulfillment. Um , and also there's a shortage of therapists who come from certain backgrounds. You know , and but it doesn't end the show there. You can still be an effective therapist , even if you're not of that population. Uh , I always remember a client who was in this political time , a teacher and teaching a class , trying to take care of students who had special social circumstances. They were in crises. Some of them were immigrant kids and things like this. And , uh , experienced this invasion of her classroom as someone came in and surreptitiously recorded with video The students talking and complaining about their fears and that sort of thing , and posted it online for the enjoyment of the opposing parties. Uh , ugly enjoyment of suffering. It terrified her. She was overwhelmed. This was an African American woman , as the teacher was , and she was struggling with hope. And she said , I don't think I can teach. I can't do this. I can't be here. And , you know , for me to say , oh , sure , you can do it this way or do it that way. I could miss the boat on that one. But I was able to say , you know , these issues of race long precede us. And I wonder if you could have a talk with your ancestors. What would your ancestor say to you right now ? And she was able to really settle in and think about it. And it didn't make her , you know , the the warrior hero , but it allowed her to have compassion for herself and to say , well , yeah , maybe my role is to to stay in there and keep teaching and maybe I can do this. I said , yeah , it's not as bad as it used to be. It's horrible. And it could get horrible. But right now , yeah. What would what would your ancestors want from you.
S1: Alexis ? We've touched on this quite a bit , but joy and hope can seem quite radical in the face of fear and uncertainty.
S4: It's not something that you have to earn. And I think that's where a lot of challenges come with my clients particularly , is they don't feel allowed. They don't feel like they have permission. They feel like they have to do x , y , z. Check off these things before they're allowed to experience joy , happiness community. And it's that's not required. It's it's already intrinsically yours.
S1: Well , David , what what role do you do ? Emotions like joy and hope play in your approach to therapy.
S2: They are the survival mechanism. You know , it's well established that if you look across the US , the history of comedy in the last , say , 50 years , comedians , a large percentage of them are Jewish. Well , why is that ? Because a large percentage of them have a history of their ancestors fleeing Nazis and coming to America and having struggles there also. But there's a population that is bathed in a tradition of escape for survival , and they developed a comedy tradition within their culture to deal with the pain. And comedy allows us to release pain. That's why in the the theatrical mass , the comedy and the tragedy mask , the smile and the and the frown are associated. And some of the best , you know , some of the best TV programmes that you've seen mix comedy with really difficult situations that are painful. So you could cry and laugh in the same show because then it's so real. And so I never want to forget in the therapy room that if all we focus on is the terrible , we could overwhelm our client. You know , it's our job to monitor the pace and to monitor the temperature and to move at a pace that they can tolerate , um , but also help them learn to , you know , poke fun at it to poke fun at themselves. I can do that by poking fun at myself in front of them , and they can get used to the idea and then mimic that. And then then there's this release and a relief of burden. You know , laughter is medication. It is neurologically. So it is a medication. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. Mitzi , I'll give you the final word here. What are your thoughts on joy and hope ? Yeah.
S3: I also think that they're essential. You know , there are emotions that drain energy or we have to give a lot of energy to. And there are also emotions that give us energy to be able to do things joy , hope , excitement , anger , give us energy. And so those emotions are really important to foster for our survival as well. And part of the work that I do with clients is showing up in as my authentic self , with silliness in the room , if appropriate. And and that creates such a space of vulnerability , of healing as well. And so I think those emotions have been tools that we have used for survival for many generations. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. Well , I appreciate you all so much for this conversation. I've been speaking with Alexis Smith , licensed professional clinical counselor with Queer Corner Counseling. Thank you Alexis.
S4: Thank you so much for having me.
S1: Also , Mitzi Ruelas , associate marriage and family therapist with che Angel Family Counseling Center. Mitzi. Thank you.
S3: Thank you so much. This is. Great.
S1: Great. And David Peters , licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Mission Valley. David. Thank you.
S2: It's good to be with you again , Jade.
S1: That's our show for today. I'm your host , Jade Hindman. Thanks for tuning in to Midday Edition. Be sure to have a great day on purpose , everyone.
