How To Talk To Children About Racism

Images of the violence in Charlottesville are difficult for people to process. If it is hard for adults to make sense of the racial hatred, imagine what it is like for children. Parents are getting a lot of questions and concerns from their children. It is not easy to strike the right balance and answering them. What is the right way to talk to kids about racism and hate? My guest, Doctor Turner, clinical psychologist and assistant professor of psychology of -- at University of Houston. Professor Turner, welcome to the program.I suppose how you talk to your kids about the violence in Charlottesville depends a lot on how old your kids are. Should parents wait until there young kids to ask or should they begin the conversation?That's a great question. I think one of the things that we know is that children as young as age 3 recognize racial differences based on skin color. I think and -- you can start having those conversations fairly early but use age-appropriate information.Can you give us some examples on how a conversation with a elementary school student might sound versus a high school student?I think you can use things like books or images to talk with the kids. You can talk about the children in the book, what are some of things that you recognize? I think with younger kids, you want to allow them to have some thinking about it and get their perspective. As an adult you are anxious about having those conversations. This gives children the opportunity to include their perspective as well. With older kids I think you can be more direct in terms of talking about those conversations. For example in Charlottesville, you can talk about hatred, teenagers understand that more than a young child would.How different is this race conversation for white families than it is for people of color?Our Association conducts a stress in America survey everywhere. With her most recent survey into thousands of teen, -- 2017, it determine most Americans are stressed about the personal safety. They are finding that discrimination is reported more frequently with minority groups than with people who are not of color. I think minority groups are put into situations where he they experience those things.We've been talking about how to have the race conversation that kids find out that kids -- people of different color skin. How do you explain racism to a child?The American psychological Association just released a racial and ethnic socialization initiative. This provides a resource for parents on how to talk about racial differences in a healthy way. I think you have to make sure you're honest to kids about those experiences. Let them know that people are different based upon how they look. I think often times, won't have those conversations, it is difficult. We try to avoid those conversations which makes the child feel like it's taboo.I know that a lot of parents want to show their kids as long as they can roam any sort of racial divide. Is that a good idea?From what we know from the research, this ID -- ideal of color blindness is not a good idea. Does more harm than being helpful. We have those honest conversations about racial differences, we need to show the reality that we live in as a society. When you talk about what are the opportunities we need to learn about what we all have in common.You wrote other tips and advice for parents in your column, can you share some of those with us? A one of the things that I mentioned was using age-appropriate language.Sometimes for younger kids, but give them too much information. I think older kids can have a deeper understanding of these topics. Use language that is appropriate for your child. You know your child and their emotional capacity so you want to use your own judgment in terms of which group what you discuss. We have to use teaching moments throughout the lot -- child's life.You're talking about kids understanding more deeply as they get older what is going on. There are African-American children and Jewish children who are experiencing real fear and apprehension. They are questioning their safety and the society. How can parents help with that?Parents need to be concerned about how the children makes Burns the environment. They should be able to talk to kids appropriately about how you would respond in terms of yourself or others. We need to speak up about some of those things I think sometimes kids don't have the language to do so. Part of that may be having the child say why am I different? I think I will put the other person in a position to say you're not that different from me. I think providing the child with that language to maybe defend themselves against those incidents can be helpful.-Speaking with Doctor Turner a clinical psychologist at the University of Houston. Professor Turner, thank you so much.Thank you for having me.