Growing up in a strict religious home, my parents surprisingly did not go out of their way to discuss their ideas on homosexuality. Sporadically, phrases like "perverted" and "keep your distance" were slipped into conversations about people in our lives -- neighbors, family members, even some longtime friends of my mother.
But the message from my family and the church we attended was still clear: We do not approve.
phillip roullard from san diego
June 17, 2008 at 08:35 PM
What an excellent perspective on why gays should be allowed to marry.
Why not? Just why exactly is the union of two people who mutually love each other so repulsive to those who think it is wrong? What people do in their private lives is their own business and nobody else's.
Although I'm certainly not a religious scholar, many things that Jesus preached have certainly not been observed by many of his followers.
It should be a basic human right that no matter what your sexual orientation, you should not be denied the pursuit of happiness nor denied those rights that everyone else in the U.S. has had for decades.
Barb from Water City
June 17, 2008 at 09:09 PM
I've been married for 26 glorious years and, for the life of me, can't see how my relationship with my husband is threatened by anyone who wants to commit to a lifetime together. I'm black, my husband is white, and until 1967 we would have been prevented from marrying in many states. The institution didn't falter a bit when we took our vows, and it will continue to thrive once same-sex couples are given the same legal status. Good wishes all 'round!
R. Dodge from San Diego
June 17, 2008 at 09:28 PM
I am very glad for and wish well for all my gay friends
and their extended families who can and do now marry.
It is too late for me...I am 73 and no one is interested.
However I have two friends 46 who I have known since
they were undergraduates at Stanford...they have been
together 26 years...over half their lives. I think that it
is high time gay men and women were allowed to
make their commitments public.
...I love God as much as anyone, and I believe that
God created us all...if we are different...it is a challenge
given to us by him...and I will not accept criticism from
anyone but Him. Even though I have not managed
to find a significant other...I have come close a few
times. I would not change my life for anyone elses.
God bless us every one!!
R. Dodge
Citizen Chuck
from Pismo Beach, CA - for today at least
June 17, 2008 at 11:11 PM
Great post. Especially love the Apache wedding prayer - thank you for sharing that.
Randy -- Chuck's Ball and Chain
from Mid Coast California....
June 17, 2008 at 11:17 PM
Chuck said yes! Chuck said yes! Chuck said yes!
Alma Sove from San Diego
June 18, 2008 at 12:47 AM
Each person's experience with love and commitment, like those that Barb and Mr. Dodge shared here, is so deeply personal. How can the government take the power of devotion away? It can't, not without the complicity of its citizens.
Like you said Phillip, the pursuit of happiness if fundamental in our country. Let's act like it in November and vote to uphold marriage equality!
And CONGRATULATIONS, Chuck and Randy!!!! ;) The Apache Wedding Prayer was part of my ceremony and still makes me cry. It goes,
"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies, but there is only one life before you.
Go now and enter into the time of your togetherness,
And may your days be good and long upon the earth."
Congrats!!
Steven Garrett
June 18, 2008 at 02:05 AM
Chuck said yes!? MOZEL TOV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
andy
June 18, 2008 at 06:43 PM
Grew up in a strict religious home as well. Well, sort of. “Strict†meant date your own religion. As far as anyone different from “us†they were fair game for picking on. Nothing out of the ordinary, the same old jokes, but we were not exactly reprimanded for making fun of “themâ€. But that was the 70’s for me.
Recently I attended my birth mother’s third wedding. It was spectacular. To my surprise, the groom’s two daughters are in lesbian relationships and they played the beautiful music at the ceremony. This was the first time I really ever got to talk to anyone so open about who they are and whom they love. I t was a refreshing experience...like when you click on the “refresh†button on your browser and all of the old frozen stuff clears and the page reloads.
I hope this all doesn’t sound pathetically patronizing but I certainly see things differently now than used to. And all it took was getting to know some fine folks. My view now on same-sex marriages is think that the sooner it is sanctioned (formal and explicit approval) from a higher civil authority the sooner we move AWAY from hate and sanctioned (from our parents) belittling, or worse.
Charles Hartley
June 18, 2008 at 11:30 PM
Alma, Steve - more than yes. This morning I said 'I do' in a garden in front of the Mission San Luis Obispo.
Ben Grage from San Diego
June 19, 2008 at 03:59 AM
I have been in a loving thirty year heterosexual relationship with a beautiful woman. Would that our society recognized the beauty of many homosexual relationships. This is the newest civil rights struggle that our society is involved in. I find it ironic that California is only the second state in the Union to recognize gay marriages (and even that was decided by a 4-3 decision and it is possible that that ruling will be overturned by a vote this November). From the letters above, it is obvious that much of society's prejudice comes from our religious upbringing at home. Established religions generally are on the wrong side of this issue. We need to examine this prejudice as well as other prejudices derived from the inculcation of religion on society as a whole.
Shalyce from Colorado
June 19, 2008 at 02:59 PM
It is sad that so many have been harmed because of hateful choices by others and in the name of religion. Christ taught a lot of things, not the least of which is to love your neighbor and love those that hate you. His life revolved around love, but it also revolved around truth. He did not condone those whose actions were wrong, but he loved even the sinner.
You are right, Christ did not teach that homosexuality specifically is wrong, but neither did he teach that murder, specifically was wrong. That does not make it right. Because Christ didn't specifically mention something does not make a lot of things right. It doesn't make gossip right, it doesn't make hate crimes right, yet he did not specifically mention these things.
I know homosexuality is not right, just as premarital sex is not right and watching pornography is not right because I have received a personal revelation of these things from my Savior and I have received instruction from a living prophet of God who is on the earth today and serves as his mouthpiece. Still, the hateful actions towards homosexuals is not right either. Neither does this mean that all homosexuals are bad or mean people, some are the nicest people I have met.
However, above all Christ taught us to love our God and that often means doing without things we want. If I am to show God that I love Him I will not go have sex with another person while I am married (or unmarried). The reason for God's commandments truly are for our happiness, though that is difficult to see in this world.
I do not condone homosexual marriage and the right individuals in Californai have been given. One very important reason for this is that the voice of the people have spoken against it and that voice should be respected by judges. My concern is that homosexuality will be accepted and like I said, I don't believe it is right anymore than is premarital sex, and that as homosexuality is accepted, I fear that my rights to express my beliefs will then be stinted. I cannot really believe that the choice to engage in homosexual acts is one which will bring happiness in the end, yet I do support the freedom for individuals to make that choice, just as I hope they support my ability to make choices they may not agree with.
The real problem with the latest development in homosexual marriage is that some judges overturned the voice of the people. This would be equally sad to me if a radically Christian judge banned homosexuals from the country because that was the judges personal belief. This was not a call for the judges to make when the voice of the people had already specifically addressed it.
Dave from San Diego
July 01, 2008 at 05:50 PM
I'm the one who married Chris and Alma. And, this past Sunday, I married the man I have loved since the first minute I met him more than 15 years ago.
Let's see. I own a company that generates employment and related taxes for three people. My partner is a school teacher at a top San Diego high school. His peers and students adore him. Neither one of us has broken a law, except for driving too fast on the freeway from time to time. We vote in every election. We're sad when friends and family are hurt, and happy for their success.
I guess my central message is, if you don't want a gay marriage, then don't have one. But I have every intention of enjoying my marriage more than I have ever enjoyed anything. I told a client this morning that I feel very different now that I'm married. She was a little surprised by my comment because she knows we've been together a long time.
My response, "It's amazing what a little equality will do for a person."
:)
Many happy weddings to everybody who chooses to get married, and many happy days to those who chose otherwise.
