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Arts & Culture

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Need Assistance

"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant"
"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant"

Teen Critic Thinks These Vampires Suck

"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" (opening October 23 throughout San Diego) is a weird film based on a series of 12 books. It's about two best friends, Darrin and Steve, who decide to go to a freak show despite being warned not to go. So Darrin and Steve go and in a twisted set of events end up becoming vampires. Now they are freaks and their friendship is torn apart by a strange man known as Mr. Tiny. They face each other on opposite ends of a vampire versus "vampanese" war.

Although this all sounds really exciting, it isn't so great to watch. This movie is one of those teaser films. You know, the ones that you see previews of and then go watch the movie but are disappointed because you realize that you were better off just watching the teasers where they basically show the entire movie. Anyways, there isn't much action. It's like going up a rollercoaster and waiting for that fall but it never comes. It flatlines.

Also, too many questions were left unanswered like, who is Mr. Tiny? Why are the spiders significant? How did Cirque du Freak come to be? When is the war going to start? The vampires keep talking about a war but the war never comes. It's like they didn't have enough time to get into details. But I guess that's what you get when you make a two hour movie out of a 12 book series.


Overall the movie was okay. The lack of action was made up by the abundant jokes the vampires cracked. Maybe the sequel will do a better job at getting into the detail and action of the movie.

"Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" is rated PG-13 for sequences of intense supernatural violence and action, disturbing images, thematic elements and some language.

--Jesus Gomez is a senior at Mount Miguel High School. His favorite movies include “Donnie Darko,” “Tommy Boy,” and “The Crow.” He wanted be a film critic because he says, “I love being heard and I love watching movies.”