New book tackles how to manage hustle culture

S1: Welcome in San Diego , it's Jade Hindman. On today's show , we explore wellness in a conversation with Professor Portia Preston , author of the new book hustle , Flow or Let It Go. This is KPBS Midday Edition. Connecting our communities through conversation. You know , feelings of stress and burnout can come from a lot of different places , whether they come from financial insecurity , a stifling workplace , or just the state of the world. Stress is really hard to manage these days and often hard to recover from. A new book looks to challenge how we prioritize ourselves in an often overwhelming world. It is called hustle , Flow or Let It Go. A guide to shame free wellness that honors your reality and gives you life. I'm joined now by the book's author , Doctor Portia Preston. She is a professor of public health at Cal State Fullerton and founder of Empowered to Exhale. Portia , welcome to Midday Edition.

S2: Thank you. It's an honor to be here.

S1: So glad to have you in studio. I loved the title of this book , hustle , Flow or Let It Go. Uh , I want to break it down , though. Piece by piece.

S2: It's more than the pace and the intensity. It's also how you have to operate within your environment. So if you have certain identities where you have different stressors , you have limited resources. That's going to make you have to work harder for everything in life. So sometimes the hustle isn't a choice. It's a matter of survival. And it might also be a reflection of the systems that do and do not support us in our lives. So I really wanted people to know that it's bigger than us and take away some of that shame.

S1: Give me an example of how one has to sort of switch identities here.

S2: Let it go. Right. So people would say , oh , I hustle. Well , if you're hustling in every aspect of your life , that's probably going to take you out. So. Right.

S1: Right.

S2: You can't sustain that. So we'll think about the hustle as what is the area of my life where I'm having to adopt unsustainable practices because I'm doing a sprint , I'm trying to get through something , but there's an end goal in mind. Right. And rather than saying you have to leave the hustle behind , how can we incorporate some flow , some sustainable practices that might recharge you ? So even if you are in a sprint , you're doing some things to care for yourself. And that's really a refreshing message for people who feel like the hustle is just a part of their lives , whether it's professional or personal. And then that last part let it go. The reason the question mark is there is because it's a little complicated. It doesn't mean that we're just going to get rid of every single heavy role or relationship that we have. Sometimes letting it go is letting go of unrealistic expectations and standards that really didn't begin with us. They're a reflection of our culture , society , relationships , and when we take those expectations off the shelf and examine them. We begin to think , wait a minute. I'm not just here to be productive. What actually matters to me ? What do I need to prioritize ? Maybe I change my approach. Maybe I need some boundaries. Maybe I need to ask for help.

S1: Well , in this book , you really share your own journey with with overwork and relying on this hustle instinct for survival uses. Like , for example , in the book you write , you know , quote , I have internalized the hustle as my method to success , so I feel safer embracing it than I do embracing rest. I mean that , wow.

S2: It's heavy.

S1: It's heavy , and I think that's something many people can really relate to.

S2: Well , how come I'm not doing it ? And I started to realize , well , I'm different. I'm neurodivergent , my nervous system is different. And so my default pace is to go very fast. I am the problem solver. I want to jump to the situation and figure things out , and sometimes I have to let myself run that pace and then when I have the ability , okay , let's take a breath. Let's kind of think about what's happening here. How do you choose to move forward. But it's not always a conscious choice.

S1: You know. And so your default was really to sort of go go go go , go. Right.

S2: One , I've realized that society tends to reward us based on what we accomplish. And so no matter what you do , there's always that next thing. And if you were to say , I'm going to rest , there's not really a celebration for that. So if you are running on validation and approval , then you're going to always try to be doing something , whether you're a people pleaser or you're collecting all the accolades. And then one day you have them all and you wreck , you reflect , and you go , whoa , it's kind of empty in here. And that's when you start to think about what actually matters to me. And that's where I use a framework that helps people really think through.

S1: So you mentioned you were you were diagnosed as neurodivergent.

S2: Why did I have all of this internalized pressure , and to find out that my brain actually operates differently. It perceives situations differently. And like you said , if I believe accomplishing things and pleasing people is going to make me safe , then that's going to dictate my life. But understanding that that's coming from something other than my conscious choice gives me permission to support myself through that. And now I can see , oh well , I'm starting to fall into that behavior. Maybe I need to have some healthy boundaries here. I need to have a conversation. So it's being able to find the root cause as something other than I'm good or bad at taking care of myself.

S1: Yeah , well , okay. So what is is shame free wellness. You talk about that.

S2: I was a self-help , you know , I don't know , you have foodies. I was a self-help , right ? So I was always buying all of these books. And then I was feeling shame as I got towards the implementation phase , because there would be something in my life where I would just fall flat and you would think , okay , well , now I need the next book in the next book. And what I wanted to do differently here is say , no , I'm starting out telling you I'm still going through the mess and the gunk of life. And no matter how much I know I'm a human and I'm going to struggle. And I really believe that when we set out to engage in wellness , if we can step away from the ideals that are set by other people and think of wellness as something that meets us where we are , that helps us to unravel the shame that we often face in our personal and professional lives. And we stop that endless treadmill of comparison because there's no end to it.

S1: And when you're talking about comparison. Tell the difference. Let's I want to talk about the difference between comparison and competition. Okay.

S2: Okay. Sure.

S1: What is it. All right. That's what is that line. Right ? Right.

S2: Well , I would think of competition as maybe there's an end goal there. Right. And you say , I want to do really well in this , you know , particular thing. And it doesn't define me when I think about comparison , a lot of the times I get caught up comparing myself to myself , current or former future. And I'm never enough. And so what I find is important in either case , whether it's competition or comparing isn't healthy , right ? You're always going to come up short. So you have to start with this understanding that I'm worthy outside of what I do , outside of how people see me. And then you look for the warning signs. When is the competition unhealthy ? When is the hustle unhealthy ? What do I need to do to bring me back ? Yeah.

S1: I mean , you know. Okay , so we've covered the hustle. Yes. Talk about where the flow and.

S2: Oh , that's. My.

S1: My. Favorite.

S2: Favorite.

S1: Part comes in. And to play that , you know. That sounds real nice.

S2: It's very nice.

S1: Earlier you mentioned this framework you rely on. Yes.

S2: Yes. Okay. So that's really the heart of the book. And the goal is to embrace wellness as something that is here for you that you are truly worthy of. You're not here to earn it. So when I think of the flow , I think of the sustainable practices that really helped me to get through life. And so the book itself is organized into all these little mini retreats that are designed to help you find your flow. And if all you have is five minutes , you know , you can go in there and say , okay , what is it that I need today ? And so in my life , I have a flow menu. And the way that I use the framework , I frankly just used it a few minutes ago. So it's very simple. Teach it to you. The S is slow down and reflect. What am I feeling in this moment ? Let me just pull myself into the present. The a let me acknowledge what is my reality. And a lot of times we're buried in worst case scenario thinking and we're not actually separating what is real , what is under my control. The next step in is to navigate with intention what are my values ? What matters to me if I have an intention ? What are the small first steps I need to take ? And then the last part E is evaluate and adapt. We're always evolving. And so those four letters are your sanity saver. And you take sane with you to all parts of your life.

S1: That's great. You know , as you mentioned earlier , the let it go part , you know , that ends with a question mark.

S2: Because I wanted to acknowledge that it's complicated. Right. This the whole identity of this book is that you're not just your hustle , right ? This isn't about slow down or go fast. It's what do you need in the season of your life ? And our lives are complex , so maybe you're doing well at work , but you're grieving a loss in your personal life. Where is the wellness that meets you ? At the intersections of that ? There's going to be hustle in some parts , letting go in some parts. And so when I think of Let It Go , it's rarely that I get to run away from everything forever. Maybe what I need is a pause. Maybe I need to let him community. And as somebody who probably identifies as one of the strong ones , it can be very strong , very hard for us to articulate our struggles because we don't want to burden other people. They're pretty intense. We take care of the little stuff , so we actually have to identify people who can relate to us and are able to help us through this , help us with the compassion we can't give ourselves. Help us to find those boundaries and help us to let go. So it really is an invitation into bridging individual and collective wellness.

S1: One of the the ways , I guess , that you would do that is to really kind of show up authentically. Correct. And and one and you can really just sort of bring your true self and struggles to the workplace. Being able to do that , but as you said , can be easier said than done. Correct. Um , how much responsibility. Right. Yes. Do workplaces have in fostering an environment , you know , that not only allows that to happen , but but also welcomes it.

S2: I'm very happy that you said that because that really is the framework for psychological safety. Is it safe in my environment to ask for help when I make mistakes ? How am I treated ? Can I take risks ? Do people want to hear my opinion ? And I think for anyone who's in leadership , the quality of good leadership is not. Whether you think the workplace is psychologically safe is what everyone else thinks and what they experience. I'm really understanding that you're always going to be on that journey. So in chapter seven of the book , I introduced the Surgeon General's Framework for Mental Health and Workplace Wellbeing because it's really tangible. It identifies five different areas that people can explore to say , what do I need to be well in the workplace and in other aspects of my life ? Things like connection , opportunities for growth and safety , physical and psychological finding meaning. So what I really like people to think about is that that's different for every single one of us. And it's your job as a leader to understand what are the needs of the people in your organization and to support that so that they can then fulfill the mission. Wow.

S1: Wow. Where earlier you shared your framework ? Yes. Any other practical tips on how to better achieve , you know , shame free wellness in our daily lives ? Sure.

S2: So the first thing to remember is that I'm not trying to get you to a place where you never experienced shame. I am giving you a place to go when you feel the shame and to take the steps to unravel it. And so the first thing is to remember that you are worthy. And in the book , every single area of wellness in your personal , professional life is there for you to explore at your own pace. So this is about choosing your own adventure. You don't sit down and try to conquer all of it. You take the piece that works for you , and if all you do is one small thing , that is fantastic , in fact , don't change anything. Acknowledge what you're already doing. We all have wellness practices and we need to hear more often credit for what we're doing in the light of everything that's going on around us. So I will leave them with that and that our true strength is in community. So do this with someone else.

S1: To do that.

S2: Just start with understanding who am I ? My identity. My lived experiences.

S1: I love it. This is great. Well , doctor Portia Preston , thank you so much for joining us. Um , doctor Portia Preston is a public health professor at Cal State Fullerton and author of the book Hustle , Flow or Let It Go. Portia. Thanks again.

S2: Thank you. Jade.

S1: That's our show for today.

S3: I'm your host , Jade Hindman. Thanks for tuning in to Midday Edition. Be sure to have a great day on purpose , everyone.