The Party

This podcast contains discussion of suicide and domestic abuse.

We discuss opinions expressed by others. We at KPBS don't endorse those opinions. No one has been charged with a crime relating to Ciara Estrada's death, and we don't intend to imply that anyone should be charged or engaged in wrongdoing.

Throughout this podcast, you'll hear my KPBS colleagues voice written documents related to this case, including witness statement excerpts and text messages. Julie and Brandie Estrada voiced their own written quotes.

J: Not everybody's into astrology, but it's, like it or not, it's the universe. We are run by the full moon. It was a wolf moon that night she died.

Julie Estrada believes the night her daughter Ciara died was destined for disaster.

J: Emotions were all over the place for you. For him, for me. Okay. Astrology couldn't have been worse for her that night. A lot of things, especially with alcohol, get really screwed up. 

I’m Katie Hyson, and this is One of Their Own – the story of a police officer’s death and the way her department handled it.

Ciara’s family thinks what happened that night should have prompted a more thorough investigation of her death. And that her co-workers at the San Diego Police Department never should have been the ones to investigate it in the first place.

MIDROLL 1

Ciara drove to her older sister Brandie’s house in Murrieta that day to do her hair and makeup. She was getting ready for a big New Year’s Eve party.

Brandie says tensions between Ciara and her boyfriend Eric were already ramping up.

B: She was like tense. She was jus t tense. He was stressed out about not being able to get off in time 'cause he worked New Year's Eve and I kept trying to encourage her to like, not fight, don't start any fights, don't start any arguments.'Cause once alcohol's involved, that's what, that's what their problem was. They would fight, fight, fight, alcohol was involved and then it took it to like an, an unsafe level. Um, and that's when I kept trying to tell her, I'm like, ‘Oh, tell him not to worry. You know, you get to the party whenever you get there. You don't have to be, you know, right on time.’

B: I was doing her makeup and he was texting her and she was just like rolling her eyes, upset. Just kind of just like, ‘Man, he's like already in a mood. Like, and it had, we haven't even gotten there yet.’ So.

B: She didn't drink that much. She did not. 

Perhaps because she didn’t drink often, when she did drink, it affected her more.

B: I think alcohol brought out her emotional side and everything that she felt was wrong in the relationship.

B: So I'm sure she was that drunk girl that's like, ‘Man, you don't treat me right, man, you – ‘ like it was like truth serum to her. So she opened up more and said things that she probably wouldn't have said. And so I think he was always caught off guard by that.

The sisters texted their mom.

J: Talk about gut instinct. They're like, Hey mom, are you coming over today? I said, I'm so tired. I don't think I'm gonna make it.’

But something told her to go.

Why the hell are you sitting on the couch? Get your ass over there. Go take your girls some sandwiches.  Go tell your daughter ‘Happy New Year.’

Julie picked up on Ciara’s mood, too.

She seemed kind of melancholy and I know probably 'cause she was just, had her mind full of what he was giving her that day. 

He, meaning Eric.

He had already bought his $200 ticket, right, for that event because he had already planned to go with some other girls.

So that set her off. 'cause she, she was furious. She says, can you believe he didn't buy me a ticket? 

Other off-duty SDPD cops were going to meet them there.

Stress over Eric and the party might not have been the only reason Ciara was feeling down.

Her family says Ciara had been sexually harassed on the job by another male coworker – not Eric.

They say she filed an internal complaint with the SDPD. Department officials say there are no releasable records of that.

That happens when the department decides not to act on complaints. They disappear from public view.

Her sergeant did tell detectives that Ciara had gone through a quote “EEO issue.” Equal Employment Opportunity is a civil right that protects, in part, against sexual harassment in the workplace.

Ciara had already talked to Julie about the situation months earlier.

J: She pulled me aside and she says, mom, um, what do you think? She goes, thinking of, uh, filing a, a claim against another officer. 

And I says, well, what's happening? Tell me. ‘Well, you know, I've already asked them, I've asked the department to, to separate us, to not team this guy up with me twice. I've asked them.

J: Touching my leg. Touching my shoulder. “Oh you have beautiful lips. You have beautiful eyes.’ He's saying all these uncomfortable comments as we're in the car.

J: ‘No, Ciara,’ I says, ‘that's wrong.’ I said, ‘That's absolutely wrong. You can't do that. That's sexual harassment.

L: She told him to stop. She told her supervisor, which is the process, right? She followed the process. She asked for input and she says, ‘No, write him up.’ 

That’s Ciara’s father again, Larry Estrada.

On New Year’s Eve, she got the news that her complaint was not sustained.

J: She said ‘They threw it out, Mom, because they told me that it was his word against my word and that's all. So they threw it out.’ And I'm like, ‘You gotta be kidding me.’ And she was upset over that. 

In the early evening, Ciara returned to her own apartment and started drinking.

She sent her mom a selfie in the new robe Julie had gifted her. Said she couldn’t wait to come home after the party and put it on.

She Ubered to Eric’s apartment. He met her there a little after 8.

According to his witness statement to detectives, they were happy.

But Brandie says Ciara texted her that Eric was agitated because she had had a couple drinks.

In Eric’s witness statement, he says Ciara told him she had already taken 5 shots of vodka, and he told her to slow down.

Eric and Ciara Ubered to the party at the Hilton overlooking the San Diego Bay.

They met other officers in the lobby. Witness statements said Ciara was quote “in a great mood.” “Laughing and talking.” And that she seemed sober.

Around 10 p.m., they took photos together.

Larry got a hold of those photos after she died.

L: This is one right here. Uh, a picture of her in her dress where she's happy, smiling, and obviously drinking. You know, her blood alcohol was high, but it was New Year's Eve. 

Eric’s statement says Ciara began to get quote “a little bit too tipsy.”

The toxicology report put her blood alcohol level at nearly twice the legal driving limit when she died. At that level, depression and anxiety can get worse. Judgment and perception are impaired.

Around 10:30, Eric and Ciara got in line for drinks.

In witness statements, the other officers told detectives that suddenly, Ciara was crying.

According to Eric’s witness statement, she was upset that he waved over people in their group. He told her to calm down.

Quote, “Now everyone is starting to crowd around us. This is starting to look like a DV – domestic violence – so I told Ciara to chill out and stop crying. Ciara is a very fragile and insecure girl. This is why I try not to take her out in public.”

DV calls to police can be made for everything from physical violence to heated verbal arguments.

Eric told detectives Ciara stormed off.

One officer told detectives she saw Ciara come back and quote:

“storm up to him. I couldn't hear what she said but it kind of looked like she smacked him in the face and just stormed off . . . Eric said he didn't want her to lose her job over this.”

The party was big. It covered multiple floors of the hotel.

Ciara’s phone records from that night show frantic attempts to reach Eric during the party.

She called him at 10:55. 10:56. 10:59. 11:00. 11:04. 11:05. 11:17.

We don’t have Ciara’s account of what happened between them that night.

We only have Eric’s.

Detectives did review his text messages with Ciara. They’re redacted in the case file, but Eric mentioned some of them in his witness interview.

According to that statement, he texted her to get an Uber home.

She texted back,  “Goodbye forever. Hope it was worth it.”

He told her to stop being dramatic and go home.

He says she texted back that she was quote “leaning on an edge.”

And claims he called her back and told her where he was.

Eric began texting Julie. Said Ciara was acting crazy.

Eric and Julie talked on the phone.

J: And I said, ‘Eric, tell me why Ciara's so mad at you.’

‘Oh, well, she's acting really crazy and there's other cops here and they're gonna arrest her if she doesn't settle down. And she's just jealous because these other girls, I stood up like this to wave the girls to our table and Ciara flipped a bitch.

Julie told Eric not to leave Ciara alone. To find her and take her home.

Right after her frantic calls to Eric, Ciara called Jeremy Gates.

Jeremy met Ciara when he was working security at Macy’s. 2016 or 2017, he says. After she started dating Eric.

JG: She was always coming, uh, to Macy's to take reports and just the, uh, sweetest girl, you know, like so nice. She would take her time with the reports. Uh, very different compared to what you would usually see, you know? I mean, if you're a cop and you're going to Macy's to take a report, you're not really interested in being there.

K: What was that relationship like? 

JG: Oh, totally cordial, friendship wise, nothing outside of that. I prided myself on, you know, kind of like listening to her. You can tell when you ask somebody, ‘Hey, how's your day?’

And it's kinda like, ‘Uh, you know, having an okay day, like whatever’ and I'd kind of poke or prod, you know, that and be like, ‘Hey,’ you know, ‘are you okay?’ You could tell something was a little, something was always kind of off with her. 

K: Did you ever get a sense of what was weighing her down?

JG: Personal. You could tell it was something personal. Just like, ‘Why are men the way men are?’ you know, like that would be the one thing. I remember her saying that, ‘Why are men the way they are?’

That fall, Jeremy took a job as a deputy for another county’s Sheriff’s Office farther north.

They were friendly, but not that close. He was surprised Ciara called him that night.

JG: We're out having a good time. Uh, and I got a phone call from her and, uh. Man, you could just tell it something was off, something was wrong. I asked her, said, ‘Is everything okay?’

You know, because you could tell she's kind of like, kind of crying ish, kind of like, uh, questioning things. I remember that. And she said, ‘I'm by a cliff.’ And I was like, ‘Well, why are you by a cliff? Like, what are you doing?’

It’s unclear what “cliff” Ciara would be talking about. The hotel is level with the water.

But whatever the exact words she used, to Jeremy, her intention was clear.

JG: She was, uh, suicidal, a hundred percent. There was no doubt in my head. 

And she's like, ‘I just don't know what to do anymore. I, I don't feel like I'm valued, I'm worth anything.’

Jeremy later told her sister that on that call, Ciara said quote:

 “Eric left me and told me to go. He said I should just not live anymore, I’m not worth it.”

Then she said she was by a cliff and thought she should jump off because nobody wanted her around. Because Eric didn’t want her around.

The detective’s summary of Jeremy’s witness interview is a little more ambiguous.

Quote: “She said, ‘I shouldn’t live anymore.’ I don’t know if she was saying Eric told her that or she was saying that herself.” End quote.

It’s unclear whether the detective was noting her own uncertainty, or Jeremy’s.

JG: And man, talk about your stomach just dropping to the floor, you know? So sad. It's just  – Because I felt helpless. I was not in a position where I could get to my vehicle that was at my buddy’s house. I most certainly was not in a position to drive.

Just couldn't get there. So I told her, I said, ‘Just whatever you do, don't do what you're thinking. Okay? Don't do anything like that.’ And I talked to her and I talked to her, calmly, you know, I listened to her. She said, ‘Thank you for listening. I appreciate that.’

At 11:39, Ciara switched to a phone call with her mom.

JG: And I immediately, when I hung up with her, I, that's when I called San Diego PD Dispatch and I was just put on hold, you know. But again, it's New Year's night. What else can you expect? I've seen how it works in New Year's night here on patrol and, you know, God bless those dispatchers, man.

There's not much they can do. But I remember being on hold forever. Um, and of course that's not an uncommon thing.

So he hung up with dispatch and tried calling his buddy instead. An on-duty SDPD cop.

JG: And I gave the information to him and he, and to my recollection, he was like, ‘Yeah, I'll look into it, type of thing.’ Uh, and he never did.

The detective’s summary of Jeremy’s witness statement says he regretted not calling dispatch and asking them to have someone go check on Ciara.

It does not include that he called dispatch and had been left on hold. Or that the SDPD officer said he would look into it.

Jeremy still keeps Ciara’s funeral card in the back of his Bible.

He replays that night, wondering what choices could have changed its course.

JG: I remember like being like, ‘Why can't I get back to my car? Why can't I – But I'm not doing that after drinking. I didn't know where she lived. I didn't have her mom's phone number. But I mean, if I could play it back, if I could truly play it back, I would've not, I, I would've, I thought giving the information to my buddy would've, you know, at least something would've been done. Uh, but then again, here's the thing, here's the flip side. Is that we go to a million, a million suicidal calls of people being suicidal. Right? And how many times does it actually, does it actually happen?

MIDROLL 2?

Right after she hung up with Jeremy, Ciara was on the phone with her mom Julie.

J: I said, ‘Ciara, what's wrong?’ You know, ‘What's going on?’ She goes, ‘What's wrong with me, mom?’ I says, ‘Ciara,’ I said, ‘What do you mean what's wrong with you? You know him better.’ I said, ‘You know he's, you know what you're dealing with.’ I says, ‘You know what's wrong.’ I says, ‘It's not you. You remember that? It's not you, it's him. It's him,’ [She] said, ‘I know.’ And then she goes, ‘I, I love him.’ She goes,’ I love him. I always love him.’ But that’s it, she was just crying.

 I go, ‘Where are you Ciara?’ She goes, ‘I'm standing out here by some ledge.’ And I'm like, ‘Oh my God. What? Oh, what the hell you do? What ledge?’ 

This word “ledge” is a cause of contention 7 years later.

In her case file, it looks like more evidence that Ciara was thinking of suicide.

Julie disagrees.

J: She goes, uh, ‘He doesn't know I'm talking to you. I can't let him find me.’

Trying to run from him.

C: That’s what’s scary.

J: 'Cause he was trying to find out where she was and she was in that hotel area and she must have went outside by some ledge. I think she meant someplace –

C: They might have like a little balcony.

That’s Ciara’s younger sister, Cheyenne.

The hotel does have some outdoor patios with railings on the lower levels.

L: The cops took it as, ‘Oh, she's gonna jump’ kind of context. Well, ledge and balcony, to me, could be the same thing. 

It’s also possible that Ciara was describing being on an “edge,” “ledge” and “cliff” to talk about her feelings metaphorically.

At least at that time – before she had more information – Julie was conflicted over this too. She told detectives she texted Eric that Ciara might be suicidal, and asked him to take care of her.

I couldn’t see those texts for myself. Julie says she deleted all her texts with Eric during an emotional moment.

Ciara’s phone records show she called Eric again at 11:46.

Eric was at the party’s midnight countdown.

One female officer told detectives, quote “When the ball got closer to dropping he asked, "I wonder who is going to be my New Year's kiss?" I was like, "Dude, your girlfriend just left." He said they weren't together. He asked me if I was going to be his New Year's kiss. I told him no and said, "Your girlfriend just left." I told him I didn't know if it was his girlfriend or not but that was "beyond messed up."

Just after midnight, Ciara called an Uber driver.

Jeremy texted Ciara.

*Outgoing message* Just try and get home. Sleep it off. Guy is a piece of crap if he doesn’t wanna be with you.

*Outgoing message* You make it home?

*Incoming ding* Almost. Riding back now.

*Outgoing message* Good. Yay. I wish I could be there with you sweetheart. You deserve the world.

*Incoming ding* I’m sorry for bothering you.

*Outgoing message* You can NEVER bother me.You are so important to me it’s ridiculous.

*Incoming ding* Have a good year. I’m gonna sleep or take a bath.

*Outgoing message* Take a bath. It’s a savior. Happy new year sweetheart, I adore you.

*Incoming ding* Sorry again, just feeling low.

*Outgoing message* Don’t feel sorry ok. And you have way too many people who adore you for you to feel low. You have me worried girl.

At 12:21 she called Eric again. And at 12:22. 12:24.

Eric told detectives he missed the 12:24 call and then called her back.

Eric said Ciara told him to take care of their beagle Trevor, and asked him if he had a key.

He said quote, “I told her she already knows that I have a key and that she was being dramatic.”

This was later included in the medical examiner’s report, which guides the autopsy doctor in determining cause of death.

The autopsy doctor included this phone call exchange about the dog in her explanation for ruling it a suicide.

Eric told the detective quote, “I was starting to get worried, until I talked to her on the phone and she told me that she was at home.”

Ciara’s phone records don’t show that call back from Eric. Or that he called her back after her text about leaning on an edge, like he claimed to detectives.

I have her phone records because she was still on her dad’s phone plan, and he shared them with me.

According to those records, the last time Ciara answered a call from Eric was before they left for the party that night.

There could be a number of reasons why Eric’s statements don’t line up with the phone records.

Maybe he misremembered when he talked to detectives. Maybe, he picked up her final call instead of calling her back. Or maybe, he called back while she was leaving a voicemail and her phone log didn’t register it. Maybe, Eric’s call log shows something different.

It’s possible the police have more information or records that would clear questions like this up. The family has asked multiple times for access to the rest of the records in Ciara’s case. SDPD has repeatedly denied them.

Without more information, the discrepancy can’t be squared.

The police redacted the text messages between Eric and Ciara from that night in her case file. We don’t know what he said to her, or what she said to him.

The last one marked as read by Ciara was at 12:13.

Police later used the thumb of Ciara’s dead body to unlock her phone. They told the family Ciara had deleted all her texts from that night.

So the only texts they have between Eric and Ciara are what Eric showed them on his phone.

J: You, mean to tell me that someone's suicidal is gonna delete every text from that night? Bullshit!

This is a sticking point for Ciara’s sister Brandie.

B: That's the hardest part of me is like, I don't – it sounds like somebody else would do that to like hide evidence. I don't know. Why would she do that? There's nothing in there to hide. 

At 12:30, officers leaving the party say they saw Eric waiting outside for his Uber.

We don’t have Julie’s texts with Eric from that night to read directly.

She told detectives that Eric texted her at 12:41 to say he was going home.

SDPD redacted his Uber receipt from the case file. The statement says it’s a screenshot that Eric took himself on his phone and texted to the detectives.

To her family, the timeline is far too loose to answer their questions. Fifteen hours passed between when Ciara Ubered home and when her body was found. Ciara’s apartment is less than 20 minutes from the hotel. And from Eric’s apartment.

Julie told detectives Eric texted her again at 12:55 that Ciara was going home and he had talked to her.

At 1:45 Brandie, who’d been trying and failing to reach Ciara, texted Eric.

We do have Brandie’s texts.

*outgoing* Please tell me Ciara is okay!” I know she’s been drinking but she needs to be taken care of.

He didn’t specifically tell Brandie he had talked to Ciara and she told him she was home, as he later told detectives. Instead, he texted:

*incoming* I’ve been calling and texting her. I think she’s fine she’s just drunk and big stubborn. She hasn’t drove . . . she’s probably home i told her to text u guys.

Back and forth, Brandie begged Eric to take care of Ciara. And Eric told Brandie Ciara was fine.

*outgoing* She’s not crazy she’s just drunk! It happens to the best of us and she just needs support! That’s all! Go to her place or whatever you have to do! If not I will! She needs someone

*incoming* I’ll let u know. Don’t worry any more

*outgoing* Thank you!

Again, the police might have more information that could change how the family feels about what happened that night. But they’ve never given the family the full picture, even though the case has been closed for years.

Early the next afternoon, Eric texted his sergeant saying he would be late.

Ciara didn’t show up for her shift.

Her sergeant, Farrell Layton, called Eric. Eric told him they’d been drinking and had a heated argument the night before. Told him she was quote “talking crazy stuff” and had told him to come over and get the dog.

Farrell asked Eric when the last time he talked to Ciara was. Eric said 12:30.

Farrell told the detective who later interviewed him quote, “I looked at my watch and it was at 1422 hours” – 2:22 in the afternoon. Quote, “I confirmed he was talking about a couple hours ago and he said, “Yes.” So, at that time I was thinking he had just talked to her.”

Farrell headed with one of Ciara’s squadmates, Melanie Bognuda, to Ciara’s apartment.

They called Eric to ask for the address. Eric offered to come since he had a key.

Eric called Brandie. When the family couldn’t get a hold of Ciara either, they sped to her apartment.

Farrell and Melanie arrived first. All the doors were locked. The dog silent.

Eric arrived with the key shortly after 3.

They told him to stay in the parking lot while they went inside, quote “in case there was some type of DV” – domestic violence – “situation going on.”

Melanie went in.

Ciara’s high heels were on the living room floor.

She saw Ciara’s leg through the doorframe of the bathroom.

It wasn’t the right color.

She rounded the corner. Saw blood splatter on her right arm.

Ciara was slumped against the bathroom wall. Still in her red dress. Phone and gun in her lap.

Melanie moved the gun from Ciara’s lap to the sink.

Farrell told her to check for a pulse.

Melanie told him Ciara was gone.

He called for paramedics. Told Melanie to put pressure on her bloody wrists.

He didn’t understand Ciara was shot in the head. Between her eyes.

Ciara’s family arrived.

J: I'm walking up, my daughter's literally screaming to the entire police department out there, where the fuck is Eric? They were holding her back.

They're like, and she's like, ‘Where the fuck is Eric? Where is he? And they basically were trying to get me to control her. And I was walking up to Melanie and I said, what happened Melanie? And she's looking right at me. She's like, and um, what, what happened? And, um, she shot herself and that was it. She shot herself.

At 3:14, Farrell called it into the department. The crime incident report says a homicide team was sent to Ciara’s apartment to quote “conduct a suicide investigation.”

This still bothers Julie.

The family finds it hard to trust the finding of suicide.

Because even though both the victim and her boyfriend were their employees, SDPD didn’t call the Sheriff’s Office or another outside agency. They chose to investigate it themselves.

J: They were dead set that she committed suicide that night and they were  gonna wrap the shit up that night.

It's been six years and I still want proof that my daughter killed herself. I don't believe she did, and I want proof. 

The investigation. Next time, on One of Their Own.

If you or someone you know have thoughts of suicide or need emotional support, please call or text 9-8-8.

If you or someone you know are experiencing domestic abuse, please call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Help is available 24/7.

One of Their Own is produced by me, Katie Hyson, and edited by David Washburn with support from Elizabeth Hames. Mix and sound design by Emily Jankowski. Additional voicing for this episode by Julia Dixon Evans, Scott Rodd, Tammy Murga, Jacob Aere, Katie Anastas and Andrew Dyer.