Life is in limbo for some San Diegans as they try to navigate choppy political and economic conditions. With the cost of living eating away at their pocketbooks and national news growing ever more turbulent, many are delaying big purchases and milestone dreams.
'We’re getting squeezed harder and harder'
What people are postponing or struggling with today are things previous generations often took for granted. That aligns with research from Yale economist Raj Chetty, whose data shows that a cornerstone of the American dream, surpassing your parents’ prosperity, is fading.
More than 90% of people born in 1940 earned more than their parents. For those born in the mid-1980s, that chance drops to about 50%. And even for those who do earn more, their money doesn’t go as far.
San Diegan Jeremy Tolley, 37, and his wife are both engineers with graduate degrees. They have a young daughter but are putting off having a second child because of the high cost of daycare.
“It seems we're getting squeezed harder and harder,” Tolley said. “I'm just worried I can’t really provide something comparable to the childhood I had.”
Tolley’s worries go beyond finances. He’s also unnerved by the nation’s polarization.
“Honestly, I think we're in the fall of our empire right now,” he said. “I think we’ve reached that tipping point because we live in different realities.”
Still, Tolley recently got a dose of good news — his family’s offer on a home was accepted.
Homeownership dreams deferred
For many others, homeownership remains out of reach.
At 51.7%, San Diego has one of the lowest homeownership rates among the 50 largest metropolitan areas in the country. For Melissa Hernandez, a 43-year-old paralegal, buying a home had been a lifelong dream, a way to build stability and generational wealth. But after talking to a realtor recently, she put that dream on ice.
“They were like, no, don't do it. The market is gonna crash,” Hernandez said. “And I’m like, whoof, OK, well, there that goes.”
Hernandez has also had to put her personal life on hold. Her long days doing advocacy work for immigrants have intensified amid political crackdowns, and she says the extra hours cost her a nine-year romantic relationship.
“Arguments were behind how much I work, the lack of intimacy, affection, attention,” she said. “And we all know what that can do to a partner.”
For now, she’s focusing on her work and deferring romance.
Families in waiting
Others are postponing parenthood due to fears about the country’s political climate.
Juliana Collins, a 33-year-old freelance graphic designer, and her wife had planned to start a family. But they’ve shelved those plans, worried about legal and safety risks tied to her wife’s transgender identity.
“What if, because of our sexual orientation, it's deemed by the state that we're not fit to have a child and our child is taken away?” Collins said.
That fear seeps into everyday life.
“You’re like, well, next week, when I was planning on doing this, am I instead going to be packing up my life to potentially flee the country for my wife’s safety or my own safety?” she said.
Uncertainty becomes the norm
Some San Diegans told KPBS they’ve delayed retirement, unsure if Social Security will be stable in the years to come. One man said he now expects to work until the day he dies. Others say they’ve stopped spending on anything beyond necessities.
Collins described the current moment as “absolute turmoil.”
“I don’t know what the right decision is ever,” she said. “I don’t know what to commit to, or what the future holds.”
