S1: I'm Gracie Navarro.
S2: And I'm Mason Nauvoo.
S1: And in the Valley. There's a question almost every senior here's.
S2: What are you going to do after high school.
S1: College , work , and even stay close to home.
S2:
S1:
S2: By joining the military.
S1: Not the commercials. And not even for the benefits.
S2: But the real reasons , the personal ones.
S1: Today I have a special guest with us , Edward. Vera. I was curious about you. What's your.
S3: And after a while I realized that college wasn't for me. So I kind of dropped out and I started pursuing work because that really runs in my family. We really go and seek work , and that was one of the main reasons that I was able to live here. My mom coming from Mexico and she had to work to not only live under a roof , but to provide for her family. And so she did a very good job in doing that. But after a while I was just working and my mind.
S2:
S1: It can feel limited , repetitive , like there's a pattern you're expected to follow. Okay.
S4: Okay. Uh , well , the Imperial Valley is very common. Uh , to live a life of of poverty. Um , we weren't the wealthiest family. We didn't have all the things in the world. And I feel like that , uh , held a great role and purpose until I joined the military. I wouldn't necessarily say I had a way out , and this was an option that I saw and I took advantage of , and I'm definitely happy with that decision.
S1: For Mariano , that decision came from experience , not just observation.
S4: I grew up in foster care for a couple of years. When I was younger , before my grandma was able to take legal custody over me and my siblings , and that was one parent and five kids in one household. My grandma didn't have a job. So , you know , we relied heavily on welfare and all the help that we could take. Um , so yeah , that was that was hard. Growing up , um , you know , in school and not having too many pairs of clothing that I could wear every day , it was a lot of the same clothes. So it was definitely , It's definitely something that motivated me to to leave , to get out of.
S2: And eventually that turns into motivation.
S4: I just I knew that if I stayed , there wasn't going to be a lot of opportunity. It's common to see people that stay in the Valley. Even now I see a lot of my friends. They they're still going to IVC or they they work in fast food or a lot of people joined , uh , Border Patrol. And it's all like it's a circle. And I didn't want to be a part of that circle. I wanted to expand my my career , my knowledge and my experiences in life. So the military was very helpful in doing that.
S1: That idea breaking out of the cycle comes up again and again.
S2: For Albert , it wasn't just about leaving , it was about the structure. Yeah.
S4: Yeah.
S5: So , um , growing up , I struggled a lot with school due to my , uh , me having ADHD. Um , I was always hyper. I wasn't really a bad kid , but I couldn't sit still. That's why , uh , my at a young age , my parents realized I needed structure. And that's why the my mom had put me in sports. As in football. Uh , I played football for 13 years. And through it , I learned discipline , hard work and dedication. And growing up , I realized that the reality of things that college wasn't going to be for me and definitely not a scholarship for football , but I wanted it to still have structure in my life. So that's when I decided to. I want to join the Navy , and I , uh , made a decision early on. I want to say my eighth grade year and we did a project. It was like my vision board. And on it , it said , once I go to high school , I'm going to join the United States Navy.
S1: No one in this without carrying something with them.
S2: Family struggles , responsibility.
S1: So to play off with what.
S6: Grace said , my wife or the military has a lot to do with my past. So thinking back to my past , a lot has happened. A lot has pushed me to be determined to make a difference. Growing up , I had to deal with a lot of drugs , a lot of violence , and just a lot of what ifs. There was never a guarantee what one day was going to be compared to the next. And it was something that was never easy , especially when you watched your parents fight all the time. So a lot of my Y was just based off of my past. I never wanted to end up like my parents. I wanted a stable family. I wanted a good future. I wanted to know that I could get what I wanted for Brianna.
S2: The military wasn't just a choice.
S1: It was a way out and a way forward.
S6: So growing up in an unstable environment has really impacted my decision on joining the military. Going between the violence and the drugs. And simply in high school , whenever I was just moving around and everything was changing before my eyes and felt like I had no control over it.
S1:
S6: It honestly did the quite opposite.
S1:
S6: I never knew what was going to happen when it was going to happen. It honestly gave me flashbacks whenever I lived back at home. The first environment because I visited two friends at the time I was homeless and one of the friends was a lifestyle of drugs , drinking , just. It overall wasn't good and I avoided the situation due to the fact. Like I said before , I didn't want to end up like my parents. So all that was just PTSD from my family's home. And so it was very overwhelming and I didn't know what I was going to do. But I was scared to leave because if I left , then I didn't know where I was going to go , who I could call. I didn't have any answers. So out of fear , I stayed. And I honestly think that it led me towards a spiral of depression and it wasn't good for me at all. And that's when I got out.
S1: And for Mariano , responsibility didn't stop with himself.
S4: Uh , I have a twin brother. His name is Angel. Uh , he is disabled. He has cerebral palsy. And , um , there's not a lot that he can he can do for himself , and , you know , but that doesn't stop him. He currently has a full time job at Macy's. But , you know , he calls me every day saying , you know , like , how much of a struggle it is and how much how hard he has to work to , to fit in and seem like everybody else. So , um , his , his dream job was always to be a police officer. But , you know , there's limitations in life that can hold you back from accomplishing your dreams.
S2: These aren't just stories about enlisting.
S1: There are stories about people they are fighting for.
S4: I would say that my brother is my favorite person in the world , and helping him is it's not even , I'd say like a want. It's it's a need. Like it's something that I have to do in my life. And I'm not saying that just because I have to do it. I don't want to do it. It's I love them and I'd do anything.
S2: Not every journey starts off strong.
S1: Some start at rock bottom. Edward's story shows off how fast things can spiral.
S2: But also how hard it is to come back.
S3: And so coming into high school that first year as a sophomore , which is so strange and bizarre as a student , to have your first year physically on campus , be as a sophomore , you know , you you start to wonder about things and you start to wonder , what is this high school life really about ? So my sophomore year , I was pretty solid. You know , I remember coming in with good morals and a good foundation saying , you know what ? I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to be a good kid. I'm going to toe the line. That's how I started out anyways. Eventually led to me being curious about things because I had friends who would indulge in such things. And I remember one day I got curious. And that's. Don't ever get curious and don't ever get curious about the wrong things. Yeah , at least curious enough to try them out like I did. Because eventually , one day , after seeing my friends do it over and over and over again , I was like , you know what ? Let me try that. And I first started with nicotine. So I was like , okay , yeah , nicotine , nicotine , whatever. You know , it's just it's just simple. Something like , you know , I can put this down whenever I want. And that's how it started. And as I started progressing onwards , it started getting worse and worse than nicotine. And then eventually , one day , a friend of mine was minding his own business. Might I add , was using marijuana. And I remember asking my friend , I was like , yeah , this can't be so different , right ? And I was like , how long is this last year ? Like 30 minutes. I was like , okay , sure , whatever. And so I indulged. The first time I indulged , I couldn't feel the smoke. So I was like , you know , I was coughing everywhere. Yeah. And then I was like , wow , I couldn't feel this. And so my logic and reasoning was , I need to do this again so that I can make sure to know what the smoke feels like.
S1: And that you're , like , actually smoking. Yeah.
S3: Yeah.
S1: So you're doing it right ? Yeah.
S3: So I did it again. I coughed up another big old cloud , and then I did it again because I wanted to make sure that I knew for sure what it felt like. The biggest mistake of my life. Little did I know that that moment was going to cause , like , two more years of issues , three more years of issues and struggles , because you can always trace that back to one moment where you decided , I'm going to do this. And if I had simply decided , I'm not going to do this , what would my life look like right now ? Mentally , I wasn't in the best place , you know , to let on a little bit more. When I got out , I was still stuck in it for a year of high school. And I was and I remember telling my partner about it , and I was like , like I it was after I had given it up , I told her about it and I remember she was very taken back , like she wasn't mad at me , which was surprising , but she was happy that I was willing to start giving that up to follow God. I remember having this heaviness following me around all the time , because I knew that it was an issue , that I had a problem. And how do you go up to your parents and you say , mom or dad or whoever , I'm addicted , I need help. How do you say that to them. I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to break their heart again , because they had not only caught me once or twice , but they had caught me four times and they still didn't know and put it together in their heads that I was addicted. And so it had gone on for a long time , and eventually back to my partner. I was worried because I couldn't get a decent job without having to complete a drug test and passed it and pass it. Excuse me ? Without , you know. Without that , I was very worried because now I have her to worry about and I have this to worry about. It's like juggling two lives. And at one point I was like , I don't want to be having a mask anymore. I don't want to be one person in front of my family and a completely different person in front of someone else. So after a while I tried talking to God. And I tried saying , look like I need your help. I went to a youth convention. It helped me out a little bit for a little bit until eventually I fell back in. And I remember telling myself in my head , like , I don't want this. Like I don't want this. And sure , I would tell everyone , yeah , I'm gonna do this till the day I die. But after a while , in my mind I was like , I don't want to be this way anymore. And you know , I couldn't do it by my own strength. And then I got baptized in water. And after that day , even the day before , I was like , something has to change. I have to make a change for myself. I have to. So I. Quit.
S5: Quit.
S3: That day , I remember it. August 15th. August 15th. Right after that day was. It was very hard to fall asleep for a while because without that , you can't really sleep. So I got real bad. I was sleeping at like , 1 or 2 in the morning , every night , because I couldn't sleep at nine or like 12 even. And eventually it got better. Yes. But then came time for me to code , to maps and to take a drug test. And I was two months done , you know. I was done for two months. And sure , many people think like , oh , like you should be good after two weeks. That's not the case with how heavy I was doing that.
S1: That stays in your.
S3: System , stays in your system for a long time. Yes. Like for some people , it's like it takes some a year. Some people. And I wouldn't doubt that I was supposed to be one of those people , but I received a word that I had to go do this , and so I went to go do it. And I said , you know what ? Because I started getting annoyed with myself. I started like , oh , am I ? Am I going to fail ? Because if I fail , I don't know what else I'm going to do , but. I was going back and forth because at this point I had received a word and I had been told , yeah , you're going to do this and you're going to help bring a lot of kids. And then the other part of me was like , but wait , I was doing this for too long. Did I stop at the right time ? Is it the right time for me to do this that I can pass it and get in ? So I calmed myself. At one point I got so tired of worrying. I was just like , you know what ? God , I'm gonna go in there , I'm gonna take it. And whatever happens is up to you. Whatever. I don't care if I. If I'm going and I'm going to fail. Because what is happening is what you want to happen. And this was my confirmation because I said , if you really want me to go , let me pass this test. So when we were there in maps , he told us , if by any means you fail this drug test , you'll receive a letter within four days. And so I was like , okay , so I took the test. I had a strange piece about it. I really wasn't worried about it at all. It was so strange because I had done an at home test , like I went out to the dollar store about an at home test , and I failed it like a week before. And so I got done , I got home , I was worried about it for like the first few days. A day goes by , I'm checking the mail. Two days go by , I'm still checking them out , and I go , okay , okay , maybe it's late. Three days. Go by checking the mail. Four days go by checking the mail. Nothing. about a week goes by and I checked the mail again. Nothing. I'm like , shoo ! I passed. I called my recruiter and I said , I haven't received this letter yet because I explained this to my recruiter. I was like , I haven't received this letter yet. Like , whoa , what's going on ? Am I good ? She's like , yeah , you passed. There. There is no other explanation. If you could see me. If anyone could see me and the way I was. I'm sorry. If you could physically be there and witness the sheer amount that I consumed , you would say there's no way. There's no way. I have no other explanation for that than God.
S1: So what happens after you join.
S2: For Albert and then growth and responsibility.
S5: Structure wise is giving me. A layout of how to handle real life work. It gave me more good , uh , work ethic , you know , um , now that I recently became an E4 , um , I went from just doing task and just working. Right. You know , not really that much responsibility to just doing the work. But now as a E4 , I have a more of the leadership role. I'm a working supervisor , so not only am I working still with my other coworkers , but I'm also in charge. Since I'm one of the few , like , senior , uh , people in my division because we just recently got a bunch of new guys , I know how things should be and how it should look like. And that makes sense. So now , not only am I making sure it gets done , I'm also working with them. And that's something I never experience. It's a new experience because , you know , with football it was always just do your task or like how Coach Penney said , do your job. So how was those users just doing what I was told. But now I'm also kind of enforcing that job while also working. And before the never before. You know , if I didn't do sports , I probably wouldn't be able to do all that. But now , thanks to football and thanks to almost like wrestling and now the Navy , I'm able to build that structure to not only work with my coworkers , but also supervise them and showing them what needs to be done and how it should be done.
S1: For Mariano , it was simple purpose.
S4: Military has 100% giving me purpose. It's given me something to to look forward to. I don't I don't feel like things that I work for go in vain. I definitely feel like every , every decision I make and everything that I do has a purpose and it works towards something greater.
S2: And sometimes what keeps people in is the people around them.
S5: Um , yes. Early on in my career , early on in my last year , the USS Abraham Lincoln , they had me doing some crazy stuff. You know , thoughts that I would , you would think you'd be doing when you first enlisted. So , yeah. So early on , uh , I thought , you know , one and done , one contract. I'm out of here. But then when I transferred to my to this ship , I realized The Navy is not bad. It is really the people you work with can make it bad or can make it good. And I was blessed enough to , you know , be able to work with a crew that I consider my family. You know , my last ship , I had like two , maybe three good friends. But here I'm good friends. Almost everybody in my division is like a family. And , you know , like , it was like a brotherhood. And like , I have to work like , you're not just coworkers. You're like my friends. It's like I have to work. You know , you want to go hang out , get some drinks , or just hang out , eat. We would , um. So that how we realized that the Navy is not bad. The military is not bad. Despite what's happening around us right now in the world. It's not bad. You don't get as many opportunities as you do in the Navy or in the military in general , right ? Um , it's just it's a blessing. It's really a blessing disguise. And now it's my. You know , I thank God every day that he gave me this opportunity to be in the military and and that's why I'm planning on releasing once my this contract is up. Real listing hopefully gets shortly. If not , you know , I guess we stay in San Diego again. But yeah , so early on I would say that I decided I would really concern you and just get an out. But after , you know , more years in , I realized I'm just staying in.
S1: From the outside. It's easy to simplify it.
S2: Oh , they just enlisted.
S4: People don't see the why. Like why he enlisted like , oh , it's another guy that's , you know , that's joining the military , you know , but it's not.
S1:
S4: Escaping that that , uh , the matrix , uh , the matrix of the valley , you know , leaving leaving what's known , uh , To to go find something new. Uh , you know , something that's better than the life that you were given , uh , in your youth. You know something that you don't want to. You don't want to be involved in ? Uh , in a sense of being like everybody else.
S2:
S1:
S6: So for the whole kicking out situation , I do not resent them. I believe that we were both at fault during this time , that I was kicked out , and I truly think that it was part of the plan that God has for me was the fact that I did have to go through it , because it helped open my eyes in ways I don't think I would have if I didn't leave. And when I say that , I mean simply the fact that I matured so much. I work for my money now. I don't expect it to be given to me. I have a 3.0 GPA and that wasn't happening before. I make sure everything's clean whenever I used to be like not messy , but messy. So just a lot of it has truly made me a better person in ways I never would have expected. And I think that it has helped me , like I said , for the military , because like , that's qualities you're going to have to have. The military breaks you down and build you up to the person that they want you to be , but you also have to remember your why whenever you go into the military and everyone's why is different. Some say family , some say friends , some say just the money. But there's always a reason why someone's there. And I feel like that's something that has to be remembered no matter the situation. Even if it hurts , it's always going to be your drive , whether it's good or bad. And so I truly don't resent them or anything for it , because if it wasn't for them , I don't think I'd be the type of person I am today.
S1: At the center of all these stories.
S2:
S1:
S2: Sometimes it has to be built.
S1: Hi everyone. I'm Grayson Navarro , host of this podcast. And my whole life I thought I knew who I wanted to be and exactly who I was supposed to be , but in reality , it's not my plan to follow , it's God's. It grew into something that I couldn't ignore , even when I was still torn from that decision , because there was always another option for me. I loved to hate the idea of cosmetology because it made me feel like myself in a different way , and it more or less felt like an escape. Something that gave me like control when everything else in my life felt uncertain. I didn't know how to choose between the life people expected versus the life that I enjoyed , versus the life that felt like it was calling me. And at the same time , everything around me just started falling apart during high school. During my sophomore year , something happened that to me that changed me in a way I didn't know how to explain. But it wasn't just a situation. It's what it did to me. After I felt hurt and confused and honestly just so lost. I didn't understand why it happened. And instead of looking for comfort in God , I blamed him. I pushed him away. I lost my relationship with him completely , and with that , I lost a part of myself too , but just not a part of myself. I lost the biggest part of myself. I felt empty for a very long time , and I felt just going through the motions of life without really knowing who I was anymore. I kept everything inside , trying to act like I was okay , but it wasn't. I wasn't , and that feeling didn't just go away. It followed me into my junior year , and towards the end of that junior year , when everything started piling up again , I felt like I was at my lowest point. I didn't have the answers I needed or the answers I wanted. I didn't have direction and I didn't have the faith I used to lean on , and that I carry heavily in me because my faith was something that allowed me to keep going. When I lost all the answers , I felt like I didn't have that faith anymore. And somehow , through all that pain , I found clarity. And I realized that everything I went through didn't break me. But it shaped me. And I loved the Bible verse Romans 818 because it's exactly that. The pain you're currently feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming. But I realized that it humbled me in a way , and it brought me back to God in a way that felt real and not forced. And now he's not just a part of my life , but he's my reason. And after everything , God is the reason I'm still here. The reason I didn't give up , the reason I kept going when I felt like I had nothing left in me. And through that I found my path , which was the military. The military stopped feeling like an option. It started to feel more like of a purpose. A place where I could grow and be challenged , but not just where I can grow and be challenged , but where I could become stronger. And I'm not talking about just physically , but I'm talking mentally and even spiritually. Like it's just a place where I can grow as a person , especially as a 17 year old in high school , making that decision to enlist. It's a place where I could serve something bigger than myself , while also continuing to build the person God is calling me to be. And this wasn't the life I had originally planned. Joining the military is more than just a decision for me. It's a reflection of everything I've survived and everything I've learned and everything I've gone through. But there was this quote that I saw and it says , your commitment to your future has to be greater than your attachment to your past. And I believe in that because. And all through it all. God is my reason. This husband voices delight.
S2: Thank you for listening.
S1: The military. What's your why ? Posted by Grace Donovan.
S7: Edited and produced by Grace Navarro. Juan Carmen Limon and Doctor Thomas Hickey. Episode music by Spa and Sound Productions. Credits. Music by Emmanuel Twilley.
S1: Technical and operational support provided by KPBS. Technical producers , sound designer Adrian Villalobos , KPBS audio operations assistant Rebecca Chacon , and KPBS director of audio programming and Operations Lisa Jane Morissette.
S7: This programming is partially made possible in part by the KPBS Explore Content Fund.
