S1: Welcome in San Diego. It's Jade Hindman on today's show Healing After War and a preview of the upcoming GI Film Festival. This is KPBS Midday Edition. Connecting our communities through conversation. You know , for many veterans , the transition back to civilian life can be difficult , especially when navigating heavy trauma and heavy loss. But how can the emotional aftermath affect those closest to you ? Well , one documentary , short , Hope in the Aftermath of War , explores just that. It tells the story of veteran Kat Harris and how her relationship with her family fractures after her return. The film will be showing at this year's GI Film Festival , which is presented by KPBS. I'm joined now by director Daniel Bernardi. Daniel , welcome to you. Daniel might be on mute. So I'm going to move on to to also our other guest who is Kesha Jarvis Jones. She's on the advisory committee for the GI Film Fest and she joins me in studio. Keisha. Welcome to you. Welcome back to the show. Hi , Jade. Thanks so much. Thanks for having me. So glad to have you in here. Um , before we talk about the film , this marks the 11th year of the GI Film Festival.
S2: What's changed ? We have shortened the festival to three days , so kind of condensed it. We're now doing the award ceremony on the first day. So the GI Film Festival starts tomorrow and runs through the eighth. And so I'm most excited about every film that we're selected for this year , mainly because , you know , everything is for BI or about a veteran. And just every story has a meaning , and I think every audience member will be able to connect to every film that we've selected.
S1: That is excellent. So let's let's check in with Daniel.
S3: Sorry about that.
S1: Oh , no worries , no worries. Glad to have you. So , um , tell me , Cat Harris is the subject of the film. Um , tell me a bit about who she is and how you first met her.
S3: Well , Cat is a retired first sergeant in the US Army. She was part of the cultural support team which saw women moving into combat roles as advisors. But of course , once you're in that position , especially during high value target raids in Afghanistan , you're in the throes of combat. So she is an experienced combat veteran. I met her doing a film on Jenny Moreno , Jennifer Moreno , of course , the VA hospital in San Diego is named after her. She was killed in action and Cat was her good friend and her battle buddy. I interviewed her for that film. In interviewing her , I found her just amazing. Just a beautiful human being with a story to tell. And so I went back and asked her to tell her story and she said yes. Wow.
S1: Wow.
S3: I mean , when I was interviewing her , I saw tremendous sincerity , which , you know , the camera captures. I saw a willingness to speak about difficult issues. Um , I saw beauty in how she expressed herself and related to her family. And I saw the pain , but the also perseverance in her eyes and all that stuff makes for good storytelling. And her story , although not unique in the veteran community hasn't really been told broader. We veterans know this story. I'm a veteran of the Iraq war , but I think maybe the larger civilian community hasn't quite heard the story of what it means to be a woman who's returning from combat , who has suffered a tremendous loss , like a loss of a battle buddy , and has to adapt while her family is struggling as well.
S1: So very true. We have a few clips from the film that speak to what they were going through. This is Kat's daughter , Hope , talking about how her mom changed after coming back from war.
S4: When she got back from deployment , she was just cold. Like , I don't know , she was cold , but she's also like very emotional. And before the deployment , she wasn't. You'd get rock solid. Like , my mom was not emotional at all before that. But then after that , it's just it's crying all the time. And I wasn't used to that. I don't blame her. I don't resent her. It's like , that's life. Stuff happens. You keep pushing. Like , I don't think about it too much. I mean , obviously still affects me. Like talking about it , clearly. But it's just. It's life. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. It's hard to get the words out. And this. This is Kat herself talking about her relationship with her kids and their healing journey.
S5: There's a saying in Sanskrit and yoga , Nastia. It's non stealing. It's like you had to let someone else have their own journey. Like I can't steal her journey from her. I've got to let her go on that on her own. And my son as well. And I , I do , I forget , but I can't , I can't tell , right. But I can't tell her how to heal and in what time , capacity or how to forgive me. So it's kind of hard when you see the hurt and anger on her face , knowing that you're the cause of it and you're trying your best to be present and you're doing your best for yourself. But you got to. I have to allow her to have those days , those emotions , and I can't. I can't take that from her. I can't yell at her for it because those are her honest feelings. Those are her honest emotions.
S1:
S3: You know , I can't tell them how to forgive me. So that line for any veteran coming back , especially one like Kat who is experiencing PTSD , is pretty powerful because of course , you know , you're a leader , um , and you want to own the mistakes you've made. But so much of the forgiveness of not only the other person's journey , but your journey is based on their choice , their action. And that process takes a while. So , you know , Kat , um , she did a tremendous amount of work to heal herself. That was inspiring to me. Um , she's still working it. Um , that remains inspiring to me. Um , and she did a lot of work with her family. And you could see in the film where particularly , I think the ending scene , which was probably the funnest scene to shoot , where they're all in the kitchen , including her ex-husband , uh , Hope , who's a beautiful young woman. And they're being honest , but they're teasing each other. It's a very poignant moment , but it reflects for me as a veteran and a filmmaker that , yeah , you can go down that path to healing , give people the space to forgive you , and in time , good things will happen.
S1: It's powerful. Keisha , you know , you're a veteran and a mom yourself.
S2: Daniel did a wonderful job of telling how authentic that transition can be. I went through the same thing myself. I served ten years in the Marine Corps. My son was a lot younger than Kat's daughter. However , he still talks about like how angry I was. And even with my transition out of the military , just getting the support that we need and they speak to it during this film , it's , you know , the resources are there , but they don't provide them directly to you. You have to seek them out. And when you are going through PTSD and you are stressed and trying to heal from that , everything in combat , you're not thinking about those resources , right ? You're really trying to survive day to day. And when you get into survival mode , you know , I think that unfortunately , our families take a really heavy lift and they don't understand it. I never even spoke about my combat time. And I think that's a lot of where the family gets hurt because we don't talk about the hardship of everything that we're going through. And so in return , the family feels closed off. And that is really portrayed well in this film is very authentic , and Kat is very open in sharing that as well. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. You know , how does this film highlight issues that women veterans , especially black women veterans , face ? Yes.
S2: So I think one thing that people forget about women in uniform is that we are mothers. We do have spouses , so we're expected to be a wife. And when you think about like , maternal instincts , um , sometimes we have to turn that off in order to do our job in the military , especially when you think about combat and loss in combat and those that are killed in action and us being present for that. Um , your maternal instinct will not keep you alive in a combat zone. Right. So thinking about that. And then as a black woman , we're always taught to be strong in any capacity. And when you think about putting on a uniform and you need to be even stronger , there is a lot of emotions that you have to turn off in order to do your job. And I think that black women specifically have to be very aware of our mental health as we go through that. And unfortunately , because of the fast pace and of the military community , there's not time for that. And so , unfortunately , it's not until we slow down or there's a substance abuse issue or the suicidal ideations come about that someone's like , we better get her some help. Although there might have been a lot of signs there previously.
S1: How , if you don't mind me asking , how long did it take you to sort of integrate back into civilian life and get to that point where those , those motherly instincts kicked back in for you , where you were able to sort of let war go a little bit.
S2: Um , like I said , I served for ten years. I've been out now for 13 years. Um , and it is every day. But I will tell you , there was a turning point , and it took me about a year and a half to actually see that I needed support and in a sense of like , I was really just trying to get through day to day. And the devastating loss is also when you transition and you don't have the same support system that you had when you're in the military. So you're talking the loss of the Marine Corps , the loss of your , um , camaraderie that you would have that is not there. And thinking about a family who doesn't even understand anything that you've gone through while you're in uniform , you feel very isolated and alone , and so that you know that isolation leads to additional mental health issues. And that is what a lot of women face as they transition. I would say service members in general , but especially women , because we are such a smaller community of individuals and a lot of times we didn't serve with other women. So you're not turning to your left and your right to have the same conversations that other service members would when you know they go to the VFW and maybe you're having a drink , you know , we're not sitting in that same space , so we have to go the extra mile to get the support. And it probably took me about a year and a half to find that support system. Wow.
S1: Wow. Well , you found the support system , and you're with a foundation for women warriors to help others do the same.
S2: Being a veteran myself , it's I understand that it's really hard to build the trust within another woman to be able to let her see that she needs support and that there are organizations like the Foundation for Women Warriors that are there to support them. And a lot of times , building trust is hearing their story directly from them , because many times that's the turning point , that they never spoke about their service. They've never acknowledged themselves being veterans. And that's really where you can get them to open up and see where their additional needs are. So then that way we can link them to the additional support systems that they might need to be successful. Hmm.
S1: Hmm. Daniel , I want to bring you back in here because you've made several films before about the veteran experience.
S3: A I'm a veteran. And , um , when I was in charge of a film school in San Francisco , the suicide rate was just ridiculously high , painfully high. And so I decided I had to do something about it. And I've not stopped. But as a , you know , as a as a scholar , I'm interested in the veteran beyond just being a vet because it speaks to the American psyche. It speaks to the American identity in really profound ways. So I like to make films where the veteran experience talks about larger American issues , be it race , gender , sexuality , combat , whatever the larger issue is. The veteran voice to me is unique and might be in some ways meaningful to larger audiences. So I just think it's , you know , it's a profoundly diverse community. Uh , it's it's it's a fun , you know , it's a fun community. I mean , if you've ever been to a VA sitting in line , you know , someone's going to crack something that's ridiculously funny. Maybe only those people will get it , but it's funny. So it's also for me relaxing to be a part of. But really it just it it speaks so much to our nation , our history , who we are. And I think Kat's story in particular. I mean , this is a black woman who made it to E9 in a world that is at times , um , overly masculine , even toxic , so persevered , pushed through , ended up training men and women in ways that led to their success. So she's pretty remarkable. And I think that speaks also to the American spirit , the better part of us. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. Well , for those who are veterans like yourselves or who have loved ones who have served , how do you recommend they start those really important conversations about healing ? Daniel , I'll start with you on that one. Yeah.
S3: Yeah. You have to have courage , uh , to be , uh , to let the other person be angry with you. You know , I came back from deployment , you know , and I've deployed many times. I miss my older boys life. I missed five years of his life. Actually my second son , a few years , you know. So you have to. You have to have the courage to let people be angry with you and absorb it and not be defensive. That takes a little while , and it's definitely not in the bottle , you know ? So you got to watch the alcohol. The VA is usually now pretty good. But back , you know , ten years ago they were prescribing pills and that was not helpful. So in some ways you just got to you know , you got to do a cat did is find some way to find , um , yoga. In her case , to me , weightlifting as a means by which you just sort of absorb the anger. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. And on that , in the last few seconds that we have.
S2: Let them start with that. Let them be authentic. So then that'll get you to a place.
S1: All right.
S3: That's good. Yeah.
S1: Yeah. Well , I want to thank you both for for sharing this and and for your service. I've been speaking with director Daniel Bernardi. Thank you. Daniel. Uh , along with Keisha Jarvis Jones , advisory committee member for the GI Film Fest and programs director at the Foundation for Women Warriors. Keisha , thanks to you as well. Hope in the Aftermath of War will be screening at the GI Film Fest this Thursday , May 7th at 5 p.m.. I'll also be hosting a panel Friday , May 8th for the film American Solitaire. That's our show for today. I'm your host , Jade Hindman. Thanks for tuning in to Midday Edition. Be sure to have a great day on purpose , everyone.
