Wives Of Wounded Veterans Share Their Experiences In New Book

It is one thing to read about veterans coping with the aftermath and another thing to live with it. For the wives of veterans who been seriously wounded physically or mentally they have a new normal to contend with. One woman decided to reach out to the spouses of injured veterans to give them their peak of their own. She calls them a SPA day short for support, purpose, and appreciation. Joining me is Barbara McNally , author of Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife . Also joining us is Twyla Williams the wife of a wounded warrior. This outreach to the wives of veterans began after you experience a dramatic event yourself. You were in a car right behind a man who got out of his car and jumped off the bridge. You found out the man was a veteran. What connection did you make between that event and deciding to help the wives and caregivers of veterans? Actually I have a background in physical therapy so I worked with wounded warriors and their wives and civilians for years. I have sponsored SPA day. Three years ago as I was driving on the bridge a man jumped out of his car clean cut and jumped off the bridge in front of me. That was the reason I wanted to write the book. I've had these women wanted to share their stories and I feel like they can give us hope. There are connections to our wounded warriors because the VA and the clergyman on the Council they may not really know what these men are going through. The wives are the closest link and we know that love heals. I want to give these women the resources and the tools so that they can help heal their injured huntsman's -- husband's. What happens during SPA day The first thing is as a thank you for your service because the men reserve the medals and the parades and the women are there to literally carried them. So I want to say thank you to the wives of wounded warriors. All the veterans coming up I thought that was a great Veterans Day also. It has a purpose it's not only to have a massage and lunch and to bond with other women going through the same thing, also to provide resources and tools for them. This spa day we have the executive director and we have Jack from operation homefront coming. I always have guest speakers and resources to help the women get the tools they need to overcome whatever challenge their facing. As you mentioned, this event has been going on twice a year for eight years. I understand this very popular. We get at least 300 women applying every time but Michael -- Michael is to grow it all across the United States. There's going to be one in San Antonio, Texas. It is always growing. I want to thank the hotel. They sponsored lunch. Twyla Williams, your story is told in the book. Is brought out the maternal and the war you're in you. How do the warrior express themselves? Fermi he got a grenade injury in the back. I do not understand and I had no idea what PSD really was and what was going on. I kept telling him to go to the VA to get fixed. I didn't realize that there's so much and as a family unit that I had to get help to. I met up with the social worker that really was an advocate for our family. Going into the VA and I was able to get into the caregiver support program in 2011 and I went to these classes and I was like wow, I'm not the only ones here. I realized that we can learn from each other and trade our resources. And say this nonprofit change my life maybe you can try it. I just really felt grateful and I'm so thankful. I met Barbara at SPA day. It is amazing. How difficult is it to become that kind of a advocate for your husband to go out there and to make sure that he's being able to connect with the resources he needs? It is difficult because we are behind the scenes. It is difficult to be heard. I can call the VA or tried to get an appointment that but -- appointment but they want to talk to the veteran. They don't understand that it is a whole family unit. Even for certain centers I can't join the spouse group unless their vote is in the program. Things like that is just fighting for being a advocate for spouses or mothers with children. There's a lot of mothers and daughters that kids come home and they have no idea. Reaching out in social media and learning these tools is wonderful. Yarbrough, it sounds like a lot of spouses and a lot of women have to just fight for everything. They have to go out there and have to become public about this and to make sure that their family and their husbands get the treatment that they deserve in terms of support. This woman that we are speaking with is a woman in your book that is labeled not just surviving but thriving. Can everyone do that? I call it posttraumatic growth. That is the inner growth that I've seen with these women. They are thriving not just surviving. When a huge tragedy happens in their life and these women are in their early 20s when their husbands come home severely injured. So they step up to the plate and they get these into resources and find the strength and the resilience to get through this tragedy and find meaningful lives. That's what the book is about. It is about different ways to cross-section of how these women grew to re-create a life after their husband came back home injured. The SPA day is this Sunday at the hotel Elk Horn Oto. I've been speaking with Barbara McNally , author of Wounded Warrior, Wounded Wife and speaking with a wife that is featured in that , Twyla Williams. Thank you both very much.