Marine Veteran Shares Her Battle Against An Eating Disorder

What is the definition of a warrior caught in my next guest that meaning includes people with the courage to admit they are not perfect. And need help tramping over their weaknesses. Tresa Larson served as a Marine first Lieutenant. in charge vote to to my serving a rock. She developed an eating disorder that cut short her military career. Now she's working with other warriors in and out of the service to overcome physical and mental challenges. Tresa Larson is the author of the book warrior, a memoir. I'm excited to be here. Anyone who sees you in person or sees a cover photo on your book would think you would be the last person to develop a body image issue. How did that start X So interesting you asked that. That is a question I get quite a bit. Is started when I was grade school and high school age. I was very young. I drove myself into the ground to be the best athlete I could be. It started -- that started my obsession with being the best and having to be the part. Because I got noticed when I one -- won. In college there was more pressure being a collegian athlete. I got noticed for being a tall costs it woman in a competitive and very good athlete. The pressure is started adding. My entire self-esteem -- and a lot of people can relate to -- revolving around those complements. If I didn't win, I wasn't happy. Somehow this came to a head when you found yourself in a rock. You are in charge of the platoon of male Marines of course. How did those pressures actually develop into an eating disorder? So my platoon was 95% males and 5% women. It developed into an eating disorder my first year as a platoon commander after I did a fitness competition. On top of working with the platoon and working many hours a day, learning to cope with this new job. I was a 22-year-old woman -- right out of school, I went to Delano via. I went to grade school. I went in the Marine Corps. Here I am with these new -- these 54 Marines. Had to learn how to cope and manage a platoon. I've never done that before. It was much different than playing on a team although there are some similarities. I did not want to fail. I had this in my mind, I didn't want to be that stereotypical woman I had heard about for my brothers and colleagues. Someone who is weak. Someone who tried to it out of deployment. Your particular eating disorder was binging and purging. I had bulimia. Which is only when eating disorder. There is anorexia, exercise Ed session. I had an exercise in session, but no one knew because I looked healthy. And that's the thing. When people struggle like myself, you just don't know. I can act the part. I can perform. But I was able to cover it up very well because I knew if I told anyone, or if I asked for help -- were admitted I had a weakness, it would be seen as weak. You knew this was affecting your ability to perform your duty in Iraq. And you asked -- you volunteered to be relieved and to be treated. How does -- how did the Marine Corps treat your condition? While it was very interesting. It was a very hard experience. I asked for help because I finally realized that I was not only compromising my own life, but my Marines. With this addiction, it was getting the best of me. I would run 12 and 14 our convoys and be up all night not sleeping. I am actually in combat. I'm not a sitting behind a desk. I cannot live with myself if I kill something it -- someone else because I can't concentrate. I was functioning at 60 or 70% that no one picked it up. When I did ask for help, it was like all the sudden the stellar Lieutenant. he comes kind of looked down upon. I was a disappointment. It was really hard. I don't blame the military for it, they just didn't understand that the eating disorders are very similar to having an alcohol addiction. I had a posttraumatic stress incident. Because I had an eating disorder, it was sent Inc. they didn't know much about and it was easier to put me in this category -- since we don't know much about you, we'll send you home. It was your choice anyway and we'll get you out of the military. What I have read is that there are more eating disorders that are coming to the attention of military authorities as this awareness grows. How are you now X That's the most exciting thing. Now I feel good. I'm happy. I married an amazing man. I've chosen -- because I have gotten out of what I call a shame cave. I asked for help. As hard as it was to face the fears and shame of -- I had bulimia. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I'm not alone. I feel so empowered to help others. I know what it's like to have an invisible wound that no one understands. I don't have a traumatic brain injury -- there's no comparison. You can't compare yourself to others. I've learned ways to keep myself healthy because underlying this disease was the fact that I didn't love myself. I had to learn how. This whole fascinating story is in Theresa Larson's new book it's called, warrior and she will be signing her memoir this Saturday night at 730. At Warwick's.